Quick! Apparently I need some Christmas 'traditions' or else I'll be a bad parent...

[WilfSell]

What are some good ones for bah humbug, won't put up the (real) tree till Xmas Eve, can't be arsed with it all, would rather give the money to the homeless, middle-class up your own arse parents?

If it's not too much to ask?

new pj's to open on xmas eve! mince pies and carrots for santa and rudolph (and tipple for santa of course), making reindeer food with kids- porridge oats and glitter, sprinkled on front lawn, (then swept up by you before kids wake up)

make some christmas decs

middle-class parents are very good at reading with their children so how about Christmas stories and poems on Christmas Eve after hanging up the stockings? It was a tradition of my childhood that we're carrying on with DS - I will always have the memory of my dad reading one particular poem in a fantastically over-the-top way every year!

That way tree goes up, stockings are hung, poems and stories read - magical evening for kids!

A 'bedtime present' on Christmas Day - you'll be getting them pressies anyway so save an appropriate one for them to open when they're snuggled up in bed - again, one from childhood that I've carried on - makes the end of Christmas Day much less flat!

Turning on the carols from King's at 3 pm and having a drink or something and saying Merry Christmas - again not til Christmas Eve and carols nice and traditional rather than materialistic tat.

get hammered xmas eve, lie in bed xmas day clutching your head and saying 'you can have some presents if you're quiet'. Buy all food ready made from m&s/waitrose so you don't spend all day in the kitchen only for it to be wolfed down in 10 seconds flat...hope this helps!

Obviously, I won't be doing any of the above but will also be trying to cultivate own 'lovely' traditions which are also portable so when we are tearing around trying to visit gps and keep them happy, we can take our traditions with us.

Sez who ? We don't have any 'traditions' apart from opening presents in our bed - which is really just an excuse for me to be in bed longer.

Carrot for rudolph
booze and mice pie for santa
candy cane for elf

icing sugar footprints and Santa caught on camcorder sneaking in (try it - we were pissing ourselves last year!).

Getting to open one present on xmas eve.
Finding 'one last' present at the end of the day (ahhh).

Calls on christmas morning to family and friends who are far away.

rofl at greatescape

ah yes, I'd forgotten custardo's one: licking and sticking paper chains. Ah, I remember that with such fondness as a child: a sickly, furry and slightly rancid tongue with some very dull coloured, twisted and damp coils of lilac paper. I longed as a child for those shiny, bright foil nesty/lampshadey things people used to dangle from the middle of their tinsel tent-like creations.

Tree presents.
Every family member has a small present, in size, and cost, wrapped up, inserted into tree branches. To be openned on Boxing day lunchtime.

Pillow presents.
Santa "accidently" drops a present in the child's bedroom when checking they are asleep. Usually a book in the hope that kids will read quietly after waking at 4.30.

Do that..

'Twas the night before christmas and all through the house..' on xmas eve?

I make presents last til New Year- only because we're always away for Christmas and the bigger stuff isn't transportable, but it works quite well because they have time to play with each gift before they get the next one (strict mummy emoticon)

Put up (real) tree on Xmas eve.

Go to bed.

Get up, open presents, have Christmas meal at some stage...and a mince pie.

Lovely.

To my absolute shame, I had actually written a list of 'traditions' we could do/adopt.

however, I'm now thinking of following the day outlined in my first post I hate the fact Nigella is everywhere in a bloody red dress.

Watch the film It's a Wonderful Life.

Write a note from Santa thanking your children for the drink and snack, all done in lovely swirly fancy writing so they don't know you wrote it. (Also gnaw the end of a carrot so it looks like reindeer teeth and sprinkle crumbs on the plate.)

Watch 'The Snowman' on Christmas Eve.

Make mince pies with your children.

Show them the 'tracking Santa by satellite' website so they can see where he is.

ooh ooh ooh, we already do the Santa tracking website! It's Tradish-niall, innit.

And the Kings Carols while eating mince pies . Though the kids spend most of the service shrieking 'Muuuuuuuuuuuuuum: please stop howling singing! And can we watch the Simpsons now?'