not sure if ive done the right thing or not.

[cheesesarnie]

feel freee to say if you think ive done wrong-i wont cry much.
my lovely mil passed away earlier this year.this will be first xmas without her.we used to spend every xmas eve at her house which was lovely.

i must add here were moving 2 weeks before xmas.

i thought it would be nice to invite some close family over on xmas eve and bake cookies,make paperchains,decorations etc .we will all be missing mil badly but i thought its not fair on the dc to not do anything on xmas eve.plus new house-new tradition maybe?

dh is unsure.i completly understand but when i said should i cancel he said he doesnt know.

am i being unsypmathic by even thinking of doing it?

remember be honest.i need to know.

Not at all.

I think it is a lovely thought but I feel it has to be your Dh decision.

Sorry for your loss.

i think it's a great idea. i don't think it's being unsympathetic.

does your dh think you should all sit around in your respective houses moping and not enjoy yourselves????

this is agreat way of getting the family together, having a lovely time and remembering your MIL. together.

I think it's a lovely idea and a great way to start a new tradition to remember her by. You couuld swap nice/funny stories about her too. Fully understand if your DH is unsure as he's probably feeling very raw (as are you).

It's a great idea, but your DH might not be up for it. He might want to be alone that night, he might want it to be just immediate family. Follow his lead. If he isn't up for company, maybe plan a private fun thing, do good stuff with the kids?

And you can try again next year to have a family gathering, if you don't manage it this year ...

thankyou all.
i think i nneed dh to say what he would prefer.

If you do go ahead make it an early night so it doesnt go on too long, just in case he finds it tricky do deal with. Make sure everyone knows to leave by a certain time so he can have some quiet contemplative family time. Sorry for your loss. My mother died just before Christmas and its not an easy time of year for me, but it does get better.

It seems like a very good idea. Could you arrange some quiet time for you and your DH after the DCs are in bed, though, and maybe do something specific to think about your MIL then? Or could you make the baking and decorating about your MIL in some way -- use a favourite recipe of hers and reminisce about your memories of her cooking, or get your DH to tell your DCs how he used to make paper chains/put up decorations with his mother, or something like that? (may be way off base here depending on how your MIL was with cooking and domestic stuff)

maybe you could all release balloons in the garden for her and do a candlelight prayer?