Should I do what SIL wants?

[LadyGlencoraPalliser]

SIL has requested vouchers this year for her 2 and 5 year olds. I have no problems buying vouchers for older children who enjoy going to the shops and choosing their own stuff - but for a two year old?
Am I being unreasonable in going out and buying them a gift instead?

I would buy gifts - unless she is really struggling to make ends meet and the voucher might be put towards a good winter coat, for instance. If she is just being a control freak - well you be one too and choose the gift.

What I would do is to buy a gift I think they would like and ask in the shop for a gift receipt.

My dd is 2 and would love to go out and choose things.
OTOH - I am like you and don't really like giving vouchers - sorry not much help there am I!

Can you buy them something small, so that they have a present to unwrap, and give them a voucher too?

I can sort of see where she's coming from; it's lovely to receive presents but if there is something that they really need, then she might be trying to save up ...

AFAIK (she spoke to DH) she is too busy to do Christmas shopping so will give ours vouchers and we are to do the same.

In that case, assuming you are not 'too busy to do Christmas', I'd send them a gift ... if she wants to send vouchers then that's her choice IMHO.

sorry - missed 'shopping' out there ...

i would get vouchers.
we have a small house that is packed FULL of crappy toys that the kids don';t play with.
I don't want any more. they don't need any more.

I have requested politely (well, as politely as you can) that if people really want to give the boys something, and they shouldn't feel they have to, then vouchers or books are more than welcome. but please no actual presents.

If someone has asked specifically for no presents I think it's a biut stupid to go ahead and buy them anyway because they'll just take them back.

if we get voucher it means that I can get books with them (elc for example) or that we can put them together and get something for the garden or something later in the year that they wouldn't get otherwise

How about buying book tokens? At least then you're sort of choosing a gift but they get the fun of going to the shop to pick

The thing is that the SIL in this case hasn't said that she doesn't want presents because they have enough stuff - she has said that she is sending vouchers so the OP should do the same.

If she'd asked not to have gifts for the same reasons as TIY then I'd agree that her wishes should be followed but that's not the case here.

It sounds to me that is an attempt not to make her look bad.

Thisisyesterday in your case I would then get books - which I often do anyway. In fact, I have a policy of buying small (in size) presents at Christmas because it reduces the stuff we have to haul over to family on Christmas Day. eg although I have spent £30 on my nephew I have bought him a vsmile game, peppa pig DVD, small transfomer and top trump cards - so doesn't take much room up. Unlike the playmobil aeroplane we got for his birthday.

I would ask her "how much would you mind if I bought them presents instead? I'm more than happy with vouchers for ours, but I really enjoy choosing and wrapping pressies. But if you would really rather I didn't then I won't."

Your SIL sounds a bit stressed! Are you happy with the idea that your children will receive vouchers from her purely as she hasn't got the time to shop (has she heard of internet shopping?). Why not suggest that you will shop on her behalf for both and all she needs to do is wrap the ones you get for your children (and pay you of course)!

I would get book tokens, you can never have enough books and they can have the pleasure if choosing their own.

Oh book tokens a great idea. I love buying books, and tbh, I am not sure anyone else does buy them books - but sometimes I get embarrassed that all I ever do seem to buy is books - and tbh I can never be sure that anyone even reads them the damn things.