I hate Christmas gift shopping for my in laws

[EarthwormFrittataBugEnchilada]

I spend ages finding thoughtful gifts and they end up unused and unloved at MILs house. I am so tempted to buy them all Oxfam goats this year.

Give me a reason why I shouldn't.

goats win hands down - just do it. You know you want to.

Get DH to sort it all out (his family and all that)? Ask them all for very specific ideas?

Your DH should buy them Oxfam goats!

i had this for years, spent ages trying to find thoughtful presents , wrapped beautifully etc and htey used to ring up after christmas and say when i answered thephone " oh mummydoc do tell Mr mummydoc thankyou for the present..." and they even wrote thnkyous addressed soley to my dh, so i told my dh that he could buy his parents presents from then on... and guess what some years they get nothing because like a typical man he cannot be bothered/organised. never once have they ever mentioned why 10 yrs ago they got a cashmere coat and fabulous magazine subscription to classic cars ( f in laws hobby) and now they get a tesco hamper if they are lucky, i would love them to ask so i can tell why ..heheheh but never mind i still get secret pleasure from knowing htat if htey had just been a little bit more gracious/polite to me they would still get fab gifts

I would let DH get them.

a reason why you shouldn't buy them a present?

They are your DH's family - he should choose and buy the presents. That's how it works round here anyway

Tell them theres a credit crunch and you cant afford anything, thats what we've done.

stayfrosty - at the time of the cashmere coat i wasn't paying 2 sets of school fees and i was still trying really hard with in laws , and thought it was a agorgeous thoughtful gift as mother in law didn't have a nice winter coat, but i have never seen her wear it - miserable b*&%ch , this weekend they came to saty and i cooked a lovey roast on sunday and while i was busy cutting up dd2 lunch they served themselves veg and took all the sprouts !!!!!!! i and tempted never to let them darken my door again,

Go with the goats, deffo.

Or vouchers

or a small hamper you make up yourself with wine, choccies, xmas hits CD, crackers - naff stuff like that - all from Tesco whilst doing weekly shop - hardly any extra time or money spent.

Alas, if I left it to DH they wouldn't get anything at all, much too embarrassing for me.

Well, because they'd think it was me that had forgotten or that had bought Auntie Maud liquer chocolates when she is a teetotal diabetic...

I like GoodGifts rather than Oxfam because they do actually use the money for the specified gift rather than just in the general area. My Dad always gets one and loves it. So I'd go for one of those

DH is responsible for his family, and I make sure that everyone knows this. I remind him, but its his problem. He has his Dad on an automatic renewal subscription to Trout Fisherman.

sazzles - interestingly when i first told my dh he was now responsible for his parent spresents and why he didn't dare try "you ar ebetter at " lin ehtough i thought he would , i told him i didn't care if he got his secretary to do it as it was no longer my problem and as they think all present scome from him why should i be embarressed. i am now thinking that it would be amusing to send wildly embarressing , inappropriate presents as they would obviously think they came from him....mm why did that never cross my mind....

Sazzles - you're right, of course...the reason though, is because DH truly wouldn't feel embarrassed about something like that even if it was down to him, whereas I would take responsibility and feel guilt even where there was none. It's a personality thing. I think between the pair of us we balance things but I'm a worrier and his standard response is "It'll be fine". Due to work schedules I rarely used to get Christmas off apart from the day itself so often I didn't go with DH (then DP) for the family visit.

I hate it as they insist on all sitting around for the gift giving and opening and do it one at a time instead just doing a general exchange. Not so good for those us who don't like to be stared at while we open our gifts.

I think its sort of odd buying for you partner's family - surely he knows them better and they would like a gift from him rather than something obviously chosen by you? surely he is grown up enough to sort out own gifts?

No. Obviously our family is fairly odd, because the wives do all the present buying as far as I can tell. DH wouldn't have the first clue what to get his family. Once he gave his auntie (a devout and old fashioned Catholic) a Hari Krishna book about developing the Krishna consciousness

Also, I'm reliably informed that his dad has never bought his mum (or anyone else for that matter) a present, never in his life. And yet his dad is a really lovely man. He's not mean, it's just not something he has ever done.

Anyway, they are all getting goats this year, so job is a good 'un.

didn't read the bit about the sprouts - they don't deserve a present from you or anyone!

love the idea about getting them bonkers presents so they think your DH has done it

(also sign the gift tag from him)

what ideas have you got?

my suggestions;

box of light bulbs
large tub of margarine
set of fishing hooks for MIL (assuming she doesn't fish)
random pillow cases from a car boot sale
trainers several sizes too small

So what did all these men do before they had a DP/DW ? Did they never buy any presents?
I enjoy shopping so if I am out there anyway and DP asks me to get x then I will. But what I will not do is work it all out for him and fall into the role of the one who takes all responsibility for all gift giving.

Earth, what do yuo usually get them?

Why does everyone bristle at buying presents on behalf of dhs? Men aren't very good at shopping generally.It's a fact. Also shopping isn't difficult.You can do it all sitting down at click of mouse these days.

I'm happy to buy pressies as long as dh does tedious stuff like fixing stuff and putting things together. (For example it will be him wrestling in windswept garden at 10:00 pm putting the huge trampoline form father Christmas together, not me. I shall be snuggled up inside sipping wine.Fair trade of duties i think.)