When they are all coming to you - do you get to do everything your way?

[twentypence]

When dh and I were first married we always had Christmas on our own.

Once ds came along we were invited over to lunch which I always accepted because with a small child it was a million times easier for me.

This year Dh's sister and her new Dh are in the country, and so MIL invited everyone over to our house (she did check with me first and our house is much more suitable for entertaining).

So, because it's my house do I get to choose all the food etc. or should I assume that my MIL is only using it for it's huge dining table and will actually still want to run the show?

What's polite?

What's polite? That would be to enter into a dialogue with her and come to a conclusion that way

I would assume that s it's your house - you are hosting and can choose what you do, but it seems reasonable to discuss it first

We're having everyone (and i mean everyone, too many, argh!) here this year and we get to do most things our way.
we do most things that my parents/dh's parents would have done anyway as we've copied/taken on board the same traditions really.
we try to make sure that we include anyone's favourite thing too though.
i'm not a fan of the queen's speech but my mum wouldn't miss it for the world so she has the remote for that

we do check, in a general conversation sort of way, if there's anything that anyone really wants to happen/eat/see/do so people get their chance to say so hopefully no fuming/festering in the corner!

anything that involves our DCs we just get on and do 'our way' - whatever that is, they're only young so we're still making it up as we go!

my 2 nieces will be here for the first time this year and they have a v different (read none!) routine to us so bedtimes/evenings could be a tad fraught....

To rephrase, when I go to her house I get what I'm given and we do what she does. But is that because it's her house or the oldest and therefore dominant female.