Polish Christmas Eve problem. Can anyone help?

[Starbear]

We have very close friends, DH's friend and almost family member by marriage back in the mist of time. We all got married at the same time and we have DS who is 4 years old and they have a DD who is 2. The problem. She is Polish and would like to celebrate Polish Christmas Eve which we did last year. She has no family here and his family won't be with them. She would like to continue this Polish tradition of a big meal with lots and lots and lots of pastry on Christmas Eve. We went last year and I didn't enjoy it. I wanted to go to the Christmas carol service at our church, come home to tea and a film and play games with DS before bed. We were so tired last year thank God my mum help with Christmas dinner. I was still stuffed from the day before. Should we go or should we stay at home?

We have had this problem every chistmas for the last 11 years, now I dread christmas and start stressing in September about whether we will go and I will hate it and have miserable christmas day with exhausted children or stay at home and face the wrath that follows. My advice- dont forget it is your christmas as well so dont ignore your traditions as they matter just as much.

Thank you hurryup! I'm still not sure as she lost her Mum when she was very young. No your right. I'll invite her to our house and she can bring some pastries with her if she wants. They can also join us for Christmas day dinner. I think it's the best we can do. 11 years really, that has brought it home to me. If we join in now we will be expected to do it every year and feel really bad when we don't. Cheers & Thanks

Her turn last year - your turn this year. I think she would enjoy the carols etc. Good idea to ask her to bake some of the traditional food. My Sisters MIL is Polish and loves to cook, especially for religious celebrations. However it does mean they eat far too much at Easter and Christmas

Last year she put her foot down and did their own thing Christmas day - her MIL had a great time playing with the GC rather than cooking.

no help to you at all but I love a Polish Christmas Eve.

Why don;t you ask if you can host a Polish Christmas Eve at yours so you can put the kids to bed at a reasonable time.

Twinsetandpearls, I don't think that will work as she like to invite some of their friends that are alone at Christmas. Thanks anyway. I feel weird as she and they are lovely

Well if she is inviting other friends you could probably decline.

We do a toned down version of continental/ Polish xmas eve. DHs father was Polish and lots of Italian family too. We do fish but not pastries, we have 4 non meat courses rather than 7 ( as we used to do before DD )Presents are saved for Xmas day.

Still a big family thing - breaking the host etc, but we do it quite early - 7pm, so we can recover for the traditional English thing at around 2pm next day. It can be conbined if everyone compromises a bit!

Daffordill6, Emmm! I'll have to think about it. I'll think we will suggest that they come to ours if they haven't any guests as I want to go to the childrens carol service at about 4pm.