Am I mean to stop buying for non family kids - and how do I do it tactfully?

[TracyK]

I've got various friends with loads of kids and we usually buy for each others kids.
But am trying to keep costs down this year and can't be arsed giving cheap crappy presents to anyone. So would rather not give anything - everyones kids get so much anyway that I really struggle to get them anything they want.

How can I broach the subject without offending anyone?

I'm in exactly the same boat - could you do something like bake some biscuits (perhaps with your DC) and give them to friends for Christmas? Maybe make them festive star shaped ones?

I think sometimes you just have to broach the subject bluntly but politely. Make it clear that you don't expect anything for your child/ren and then say you're not planning on giving anything if that's ok. Or do a half-way -house and say you're planning on making christmas presents this year.

If I was your friend and you told me you weren't buying presents I wouldn't be offended - just relieved!

Just tell them.

I'm sure they won't be offended and will understand. They may even be relieved! The children probably won't notice.

We started this with first born children of close uni friends but gave up when some of us reached 3. (We agreed to continue doing birthday gifts.)

Could you suggest that you have a day out together, or a party instead of everyone buying cheap pressies? Everyone brings something to the party, and you have a good time.

we have all decided to have a little party as our present to the kids just before christmas. we are all contributing to it, one doing food, one doing games and prizes, one doing party bags etc. figure this will be cheaper than buying lots of presents and we all get to spend the day together!

I was thinking of doing all the kids a nice mug filled with their favourite sweeties - or along those lines. So may say that to my friends that if I do something it'll be a homemade thingy.

We stopped last year - I just said "look guys, we're a bit skint, and H has so much stuff already, I am sure you are in the same boat" - they were all relieved!

We had to broach this subject with our friends a couple of years ago. They were all relieved as they had been thinking the same thing and noone wanted to be the one to say it.

Last year we started a new tradition of getting together with all the kids in early December to make Christmas decorations and cards, we all buy or organise one activity and have mince pies etc. It hardly costs anything to do and the kids love it.

THE PARTY SOUNDS A GOOD IDEA AND WHY NOT SUGGEST A SECRET SANTA WHEN YOU PICK ONE NAME OUT OF A HAT AND JUST BUY FOR THAT PERSON (CHOOSE A VALUE FOR PRESENT) THEN AT YOUR PARTY EVERYONE WILL RECIEVE ONE PRESENT

we have an agreement between our friends that we dont give presents at christmas, just birthdays. We usually arrange an outing with children to the cinema or pantomime instead.the children havent even noticed that they dont get christmas presents from these people anymore. I think your friends will be relieved.

Everyone is struggling a bit this year surely? Or worried that they might be so I doubt anyone would be offended. I never get my friends or their kids xmas presents