Would you go away for Christmas or is it selfish?

[Glitterballofdreams]

Every year I go all out for Christmas, the food, the meal plans, themed evenings, parties. It’s great but tiring. I’m always exhausted by new year.
This year I have thought many times how it would be nice to go away. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere hot, I’d like to keep some tradition.

A resort hotel not too far away is hosting a Christmas stay from Christmas Eve to Boxing Day, all meals and festivities included. I’m really up for this, no cooking or cleaning!

My husband however isn’t, he would rather stay home. As the cook and main Christmas organiser, I feel it’s a good opportunity, to try something new.

Do any of you go away for Christmas or do you prefer home comforts and traditions?

Why do you do everything?

Its interesting that you ask if its selfish to go away and not do the work.
I bet he isn't asking himself if its selfish to stay at home and watch you do the work.
'No problem darling. I know you love Christmas at home but I need a rest. So you're in charge. You love it so it should be a pleasure to do all the shopping / cleaning/ cooking / entertaining'.

This is why I'm so glad we keep our Christmas small every year. We have my partner's mother over, and sometimes my son will come up (we live quite far). But that's it.

I absolutely hate having to put on a performance/show for other people, hosting, fake-laughing, etc. It makes a mockery out of Christmas. People getting drunk and arguing. (NB this hasn't happened to me, but to plenty of friends of mine)

Op, you do exactly what you would like to do. If husband insists on staying home, then he can take over the cooking and the hard graft.

I would love this. We’ve hosted the extended family every year for over 20 years now. It worked when the children were small but I’d quite like someone else to have a go now.

I keep dropping hints about having Christmas in the Caribbean, but I don’t see it happening somehow!

Well we tested the waters for the past two years and had Xmas lunch at local hotels. This year we have booked a hotel stay from 23rd to 27th. Last minute but we are fed up with Xmas day alone or travelling. Booked it last week in Falmouth and will visit relatives while down there

He's the selfish one

We went to Canaries for a week over Christmas from the time we got married.
Both second marriages, me with no kids, him with 2 teenagers, it just made it easier.
Then when our kids came along we carried on until they were about 10 or 11.
We still decorated the house and presents under the tree but took a suitcase full for Christmas Morning and they had another present opening when they got home.
Always worked for us, can’t beat Christmas Day on the beach.

We are having our first Xmas away from UK for 15 years. Previously we lived abroad so it was our normal.
DH is already at our place in Spain. DD is travelling the world.
Me and the dog are driving down towards the end of November.
Parents are flying over to join us and we are booked into a pub for lunch.
Will probably have a bbq in the evening with Parents and friends.
Can't actually wait. First Xmas off work for 14 years

Thank you for all the responses, though I do think my OP has been misunderstood. While I do wrap all the presents, plan the meals and cook. DH will clean, prep the house, tidy up, and anything else that needs doing. Neither of us sit down for a moment! I think it’s more that he’s a creature of habit, and is a bit more weary of changing the traditions than I am.

Tell him you will stay home but you aren't doing anything, It's all on him this year.

Tell him you’re going. If he wants to stay home without you that’s down to him.

What and spend christmas on your own instead?

I just think it's easier at home, as the kids can play, and all the family can come round without having to worry about those who would struggle getting to a hotel. Get your husband, and anyone else physically able, to do a bit more-it shouldn't all be on you!
Obviously if you don't have kids and all your family are able to travel easily, then look into costs of a hotel. I love having the left over Christmas food while relaxing over the next few days, so that wouldn't be for me, but to each their own!

Is it just the two of you? If your DH doesn't want to go, despite the fact he pulls his weight at Xmas too, I would really try to dial it back this year with the hosting and themed evenings. Just have a simple time, take short cuts with food where you can. You need to be honest with DH though and say it's been too tiring and you don't enjoy that now - something has to change.

Yes we are this year. Cannot wait. Never done it before. A little cottage in the countryside.

It’s not selfish, everyone’s feelings at Christmas are valid. Personally in our family Christmas is the one thing that never changes, the same traditions, the same people, the same games, it’s the one thing we look forward too at the end of the year. I would never even think about going somewhere other than home for Christmas. At the end of the day it’s your Christmas too, if you’ve been hosting all these years you probably deserve a break 🤭

He might be wary of change but he’ll cope. Perhaps you need an agreement that some Christmases, what you want counts-not just what he wants.

Lately I am thinking I would love to go away for a few weeks in December to somewhere that doesn't celebrate Christmas. These are newish feelings. I used to love Christmas and tk some degree I still kinda do but it's getting harder every year.

I find my work can become stressful. I am carer privately and the people I work for fall into the marketing around Christmas. There is just so much work and them taking extras with parties and dinners left, right and centre at my expense.

Then there is the whole entire gift giving. Finding time to go shopping and the shops are busy and it's getting so fucking tedious. I mean like there's only so much candles and mugs you can gift someone. I am actually finding it so stressful.

Then there is the Christmas dinner.. I am often exhausted once Christmas comes. Work is also being a fucking nightmare wanting me to provide another libe in stint over new years. There's just Jo fucking switch off point from the wanting to live a high life.

I just want to escape it all.

I've always wanted to go to Australia over Xmas to see the Boxing Day Ashes. My DC even when adults have never wanted me to go over Xmas. I'm probably too old to go now. I'm cooking for 7 this Xmas including 2 DC and a partner plus 2 foster DC, DH and me. DH preps all the veg though and Yorkshire puddings mix. Youngest ds will help me dish everything up into hot trays and then everyone helps themselves. Eldest DS will clear table after dinner so I don't really do any more than DH or DS's. I load up dishwasher as I go along and run whilst we eat Xmas dinner. Then DS will empty it put away saucepans and utensils and reload with dinner plates.