Christmas days out to avoid!

[Outspokenhippo]

Just wanted to give anyone who is interested a heads up about a place to avoid for a Christmas Day out. Last year we went to the Four Kingdoms and I honestly could have wept. It was awful. Think Nessa’s (Gavin and Stacey) Christmas grotto and you’re not far off. The place is filthy. I spent a considerable amount of time filling out profiles for each of us, with information to be used for said visit. Hardly any of it was used. IT COST A FORTUNE. I’m talking over £400 for 3 kids and 2 adults. I thought maybe a post about places to avoid would be helpful. This year we are doing the polar express at Churnet, if that’s crap I’m quitting Christmas for good. 🎅🏽

Coombe Abbey light trail. Costs a fortune and nothing special. Warwick castle was spectacular plus they had loads of festive food stalls and an ice rink.

Polar Express was a rip off last year. Hundreds of pounds to sit on a train and have a horrible biscuit with a cheap hot chocolate!

DH had sent it to me, so I had access to the link easily! I watched it increasingly horrified. No wonder everything is so bloody expensive to buy.

@MadellineBellPictureMeGoneNS, protection racket describes it perfectly.

I suppose if traders refused there would be no market. (I’m sure Leeds had traders pull out one year, something to do with having to be onsite by 10.00am, when in reality there were very few customers until twilight). Traders didn’t even have a toilet they could use and had to rely on local business premises. Costs were similarly extortionate).

If customers refuse to go, there would also be no markets or events.

Everyone needs to vote with their feet!

Add Chester Christmas market to the list. Unless you particularly want to pay a fortune for some hot wine or have a hankering for an acrylic knitted hat shaped like a chicken

DH tells me Winchester is the UKs Most Christmassy Town. It's a fair old drive for us so we'd need to stay over and park etc.
I said "Oooh I'll think about it" but I reckon it'll be a "No"

I know this is not what you asked OP, but the light trail at the National Pinetum in Bedgebury, Kent is truly magical - a walk through the pine forest with really beautiful light installations and very atmospheric music.

Give it a try, avoid weekends, first thing in the morning it is nice and quiet, but the best time is about 4.30. the crowds have gone, it’s dark and the lights are beautiful, it is a totally different experience. Best to park at the Park and ride and walk in (a mile or so from the St Catherin’e one). I would say most of the stuff is mass produced (there is one section for makers) but it’s not tat and there are some nice food stalls (to buy from as well as to eat at).

There were a lot of contributing factors. It was very quiet which didn’t help, there was absolutely no atmosphere (admittedly not the fault of the venue but it is what it is), some of the actors on the way round were 1) really smelly, think extreme BO and 2) utterly terrifying. The whole place felt tired and in need of knocking down a really good revamp (should be easy given HOW MUCH IT COSTS TO GO), it was filthy; the toilets were what I imagine those to be like at Glastonbury after a week. The visual effects were shit, I assume they were designed on Windows ‘95. I was so annoyed to then look up reviews on trip advisor which I should have done before I booked, as it would have saved me a small fortune.

It is very very crowded . The market itself is ok but not big but as part of a visit to the whole city and cathedral it’s lovely , I’d book restaurants if you want to come .

Chichester. Went a couple of years back. Grey tents pitched about 10 ft apart probably no more than twenty stalls along two main drags. Appalling, no atmosphere, nothing.

It is much quieter from 4.30 and all lit up, that’s when I usually go. Avoid the middle of the day. The High St gets very crowded too, but I don’t mind that, you can keep moving. Depends on your tolerance for crowds I think. Last year I was there in the middle of one day and there was a huge queue to get into the market, so I didn’t bother, but I live close enough to pop back in an early evening.

I really like Chester at Christmas! As a Londoner the hot wine was quite reasonable 😂

The market is small and sweet, but not really worth going to on its own, but alongside that beautiful cathedral and city in general I think it’s pretty Christmassy. The cathedral does the Christmas tree festival which is nice for a wander around. I think the atmosphere of the city is great at that time of year

I went to Chatsworth at Christmas years ago (probably about 20) and it was so packed we were shuffling around the house in long queues. I can't imagine what it's like now.

edited for additional detail

Went to Lincoln Christmas market once. It was so crowded and the stalls were not great. Have avoided Christmas markets ever since.

The key to doing London Christmas lights is to go in the first couple of weeks in December before it gets totally mad. I also love it at kicking out time - Regent Street much emptier and those gorgeous angel lights visible in all their glory. Would never pay for a bus tour, just get a normal bus and sit on the top deck. As previously mentioned Sloane Square is also very charming at Christmas.

When you live here you find the most Christmassy things are community based - Hampstead and Highgate carols are really nice.

Agree re London. Parts are stunning at Christmas time but the crowds!
We took the DCs to see Stranger Things (disappointing) then the plan was to have a wander around the shops in Covent Garden. DH and DS2 got very grumpy and vowed they would never do it again.

Kew at Christmas is beautiful, never felt crowded as it’s so vast. Highly recommend.
I’m planning on a Christmas shopping trip to London and think I will go early November. Fortnum’s last year felt dangerously overcrowded in December even with a queuing system.

Bournemouth Christmas Market is awful too - same old rubbish every single year, over-priced German frankfurters and beer, wishy washy hot chocolate, stalls selling stuff nobody would want - it's dreadful. Add to that all the boarded up shops, druggies, homeless people and various weirdoes, and it is best avoided.

DS1 and his girlfriend visited Bond Street last Christmas season. The shops, think Chanel, Van Cleef etc, put on beautiful displays.

If this site is anything to go by, you're queuing most of the time and literally half the rides are out of order.

Blenheim palace Christmas market. It was very underwhelming and as other posters have said - 50 sheds of shite.

If you get the chance go to the Sandringham lights walk through the forest. That was magical

Chester zoo lanterns, went years ago and it was amazing. Went back and it had gone really rubbish.

We enjoyed Dunham Massey trail, Lapland UK was amazing, we have booked Chatsworth House this year.

They’re all awful if you ask me. Either boiling or freezing, insanely expensive, crowded and I always catch a cold or the flu!
Alternatives I would recommend:
a run/walk/drive around your local area admiring the lights
NT properties if you’re a member
the local garden centre
carol service at your local church
a proper ice rink if you’re lucky enough to have one nearby
staying home 🤣🤣🤣

It wasn’t as bad as some of the places/events on here but I went to the Christmas lights trail at Bedgebury Pinetum and Forest in Kent, and I wouldn’t bother. It was sponsored by a big record label and it was very commercial-feeling and very short. Near the exit we had a sit down just to spend a bit more time there and get more value! A woman walked past saying “was that it??”.
It was stuff like a row of big light up candy canes, or a tunnel made from coloured fairy lights - basically stuff you can see in a big garden centre. A family of 4 is £72 and it felt like most of that cost goes on licensing the Christmas pop songs. There are a couple of great ones in the south east that are way better

Winchester Christmas market is hideous. Same old wooden huts selling the same
overpriced tat, and because it’s Winchester you have to navigate Tarquin and Jemima with their massive buggies and doodle cross dogs on long extended leads in the crowd as well. Don’t do it!

We tried Bath last year as an alternative - couldn’t even see a lot of the stands and it doesn’t have a clear route; there seem to be just huts plonked anywhere.

Mottisfont National Trust always do a brilliant Christmas but the trick to avoid the crowds is to go on the last few days in January. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe year was brilliant.

Wisley Christmas lights was also lovely.

Carols with the Owls at the Hawk Conservancy in Andover isn’t very good. Their ‘normal’ evening flying events are much better.