The Year Round Nigel Slater Discussion Thread - Part 5

[RainbowZebraWarrior]

Hello all, and welcome to this lovely space for our continued chats.

A bit of background for anyone not familiar with this topic:

The Nigel Slater Christmas Chronicles readalong usually takes place here on Mumsnet between November and February each year - the Christmas Chronicles being a book written by Nigel Slater full of winter recipes and anecdotes - It has been running for a few years, and the contributors collectively decided it would be nice to have it running all year round.

So here it is. It is a place to appreciate all things Nigel-esque. Think seasonal food and recipes, enjoyment of nature, gardening, appreciation of the weather, and sharing of news and small moments of joy. It's a calm, cosy space for gentle chat and merriment so pull up a chair, grab a drink and relax.

A very hearty welcome to friends new and old!

Thank you, he improved overnight and was discharged this morning (he's in a care home)

Thank you too @RainbowZebraWarrior . Someone else has started the new Flylady thread, they do often fizzle out a bit over the month but with the system starting again each month they do get going again. Traditionally someone different does a new thread each month (they have been going for 15+ years).

Guanciale can be frozen quite successfully! @RainbowZebraWarrior in case you see it again

You're very welcome, it'll be a Nigelesque haven of calm, candles and loose leaf tea (I cannot always guarantee this).

@Celiathebanshee across the city - about 4 miles I think.

Glad to hear your dad is doing alright @ElegantDresses

I can imagine you were buffeted about on the beach @RainbowZebraWarrior, it's very windy here too.

It's been quiet at work so have been doing a bit of clearing out and packing around things, but my back is twingeing a bit now so going to stop and sit down. I don't what to eat this evening, was thinking about a chickpea curry maybe, with coconut milk.

Well, July has turned a corner, I had a small win on the Premium Bonds AND the Postcode Lottery, not a huge amount, but enough to cheer me up and to send me running to Vinted...

@martha79 I thought you might have moved in near me, but wrong park and library! I wish you every happiness in your new home, and hope you are putting up a Nigel shelf for your books.

I bought a mosquito bit zapper and am hoping it will take the sting and itch away. Normal water pressure appears to have resumed, for which I am mightily grateful and I have realised the hot weather means I can use the BIIIIIIIIIG brush to sweep away the moss in the garden... it is quite cathartic.

We are going through a bit of a budget panic at work, but our group tends to live a lean existence and I think my Director might be a tad surprised when I tell him I have been through our budget and actually, he, is our biggest expense... Sometimes, I think we would be better off asking for more, rather than living within our budgets.

The ironing pile in the kitchen is exerting its siren call, which I am ignoring and I am sitting on the settee with a Devon Lemonade, thank the good Lord for Plymouth Gin!

And final saving grace, hair cut is booked in for Saturday... the fringe is horrendous...

Let the planning on a European roadtrip begin….

well done on your windfall .

weather been not great the last couple of days here but looking up for the weekend.

I am so sorry in advance for this post, but I absolutely cannot keep doing this and need to vent.

My mother keeps texting me saying that she either cannot wake my Dad or that he has not come home (He has a habit of going out at dawn and doesn't come home until dusk, although he has been home by 4pm most days lately due to being old and in poor health these days)

I got a text at 7.45pm tonight saying he wasn't home and wasn't answering his phone, so I rang him myself and got no answer either. Left DD at home as she didn't want to come with me, and went trawling the village looking for him. Found him picking blueberries at the allotment with no idea that it was after 8pm. By the time I got home, DD was in total meltdown as every time this happens, she thinks the worst (as obviously, I do, too) She has begged me not to leave her again and now I feel like an absolute arse. My mother has apologised yet again for dragging me out when she knows I am in pain and have an anxious, Autistic DD. I am going to have to tell her tomorrow that I cannot do it any more. Sounds cruel, but I haven't eaten yet (again) and I am totally wired (again) and also exhausted (as always) I haven't watered the garden (again) and everything is dead or dying etc, etc.

This is why I run off to hide at the beach every day!

Well done on the wins @LatteLady Always good to hear a bit of good news.

@RainbowZebraWarriorthat sounds so so tough. You speak of your dad but with your mum. Is she well, fit & healthy? I know this isn’t AIBU. But Yanbu to look after yourselves and prioritise what you and your DD foremost.

Tomorrow, make sure you eat a nutritious meal and water plants and go to the beach. And just breathe. I will be asking you tomorrow evening to make sure you have done those things.

You’ve had a really full on few weeks and you need to recover. You’ve can’t be there for other la and look after everyone else if you don’t look after yourself

Everything @CrushingOnRubies says.

Are you able to link to his phone so it is a tracker?

And yes, tomorrow have that conversation. You have so much on your shoulders right now.

Wafting something calming and Nigelly your way.

@RainbowZebraWarrior hope you are able to rest this evening. You really are going through it right now.

I've just been to 2 yoga classes. The last one was a yoga nidra class. I haven't done one before and hadn't realised how much I would be lying still on my back. I wasn't very comfortable so I will take pillows and a blanket next time so I can get the most out of it. It was still lovely though.

Gosh @RainbowZebraWarrior you really are going through the mill. @CrushingOnRubies is absolutely right though, you can't look after others if you don't look after yourself. ♥️

Thanks all ❤️ from the bottom of my heart.

I had a crisp sandwich at 10pm which was actually delicious. Appreciate this is not at all nutritious, but Real Crisps Ham and Mustard flavour are the business! I always treat myself to these from the hospital shop along with a massive cheese scone, so will get some more today.

I will take everything on board as I would say it to others. I have cooked some chicken for later and have a waitrose order arriving tonight. I just need to get through today (honey labelling, a little bit more delivering, Dad hospital appointment and sorting Mum and Dads online shopping delivery) then I am going to take some time out. DD and I are staying in all day tomorrow and having a chill oit day. My Dads pal is on board for appointments at the hospital further away next week as I think Dad knows I can't keep doing it (plus timings with school day etc)

DD is going to help me with garden watering and we will set up the hosepipe tonight.

My mother is 81 and hasn't left the house since the Pandemic after being diagnosed with colon cancer. She / the situation is very difficult to manage and her issues are massively amplified at the moment with what Dad (therfore all of us) is going through.

If I was away, they would just have to get on with it. Unfortunately, holidays are another issue.

Anyway, happy Friday all 😊

Oh lovely @RainbowZebraWarrior, as the others say, do take care of yourself. You can't pour from an empty cup (am not sure why it's a cup in that saying, surely easier to pour from a jug, and I think Nigel would want us to use the appropriate kitchen equipment).

@LatteLady any good Vinted finds? I've been selling a few things on there as I declutter, and discovered last night that it you can spend your seller's balance directly on other items. I realise that sounds like it goes against decluttering, but I'm selling mostly clothes and buying a few of my favourite wax melts.

@petitpasta I love yoga nidra but you definitely need to get comfy for it!

Ended up having a takeaway curry last night - tarka daal, saag gosht (so much spinach, it was amazing) and pilau rice. Got enough left for at least two more meals.

I'm teaching this morning. Starting to tell my handful of music students that I'll need to assess the situation (mainly the sound proofing) when I move as to whether I can teach at home. I might need to go back to visiting them, which actually might not be a bad thing as I work from home so much anyway. Health-wise that is feeling feasible again, I think.

Otherwise, more clearing and packing, and waiting in for some parcels to be picked up.

Sorry Bimbles. Meant to answer your question. A tracker could be helpful actually. In all honesty, I knew he would likely be at the allotment. Trouble is, we live on the outskirts of one edge of the village and the allotment is on the outskirts of the other edge, so I had ro schlep the mile or so through the whole village including over the railway bridge and back. (I'd had a glass of wine and couldn't drive) Ouch this morning, but actually it proves I can walk further than I thought if I need to 😀

I dont actually know what the answer is other than "If he isn't home by dark, then I'll go and look"

Anyway. Enough.

What everyone is saying - to use an aeroplane metaphor, "Put your own oxygen mask on first."

The picture you draw of your mum and DD frantic and you driving around on nearly empty only to find your dad enjoying the light evening picking blueberries... it's a lot for you.

A tracker might work if he moves around or he could just drop his location if he isn't going to answer his phone. But that would mean change by everyone. The octogenarians in my life are very much like themselves only much more so. It's quite a thing isn't it?

Takeaway sounds delicious @martha79 I have just 'booked' into my calendar a date night Indian takeaway for myself in two weeks time (to celebrate getting to the school holidays, haha!)

Also sounds good going back to visiting students. That could be a real boost of positivity for you (as in turning a corner health wise and getting out a bit more!) Feels like a new, fresh start all round.

I am setting aside an hour today to do some decluttering, thanks for the inspo. I am also right now going to put the dead lavender in the garden bin so they stop reminding me that I failed them 😆

What do you teach @martha79? I would love to learn an instrument but fear that in the second half of my fifties I might have left it too late.

I am having quite a bit of vinted success. Just found a BNWT merino sweater in a lovely bright pink for only £8 plus a couple of BNWT Dents bags. Dents are an old British brand and no longer make bags so you can only get them pre loved. I got a BNWT one for DD's birthday for £45 (tag says it was £225!). My great granny worked for Dents as a gloveress (there's a job that no longer exists!). She made high end bespoke ladies gloves by hand. I wanted to give DD something that connected her to this little bit of our history.

My MIL arrives today for the weekend. My FIL always disliked me and was a narcissist. She never tried to forge a relationship with me over the 29 years when DH and I were married and he was alive. In the last year since he died she has tried a bit more bit I struggle to move past the fact that they made my life really difficult and don't really want much of a relationship with her. Then I feel guilty because I'm sure her life was miserable while he was alive. It's complicated!

But first I have a boxing class at the gym. I've only recently started this class and it's a surprisingly good core workout!

Oooh that's complicated @petitpasta
Hope the boxing helps

I think a tracking app on your dad's phone is an excellent idea @RainbowZebraWarrior, assuming he always takes his phone with him. From what you have just told us about your mum, I wonder if his disappearances could be tactical to try and carve a bit of time for himself. If this is a regular thing and he has never actually come to any harm, you could maybe start to respond to your mum by saying he's probably just at the allotment and has lost track of time. In any case, don't put off having something to eat yourself/sorting out DD/whatever you need to do first (put on your own oxygen mask). It feels like your mum is calling you so she can relax and think Rainbow's handling this. I'm going back to the UK tomorrow to visit my own mum (89). I so agree with @HannahDefoesSpringFling when she says The octogenarians in my life are very much like themselves only much more so. A lot of the time I wish I lived nearer my mum, but you've reminded me that while it's hard to be far away, it can also be hard to be close at hand.

Haha. My Mum and Dad have driven me nuts like this for years, not just since they've been in their 70s / 80s. Ive always felt like the parent.

"Dont put off having something to eat"

😋😋😋 I have just walked off the beach and straight into the Premier Inn for a buffet breakfast. I cannot say how long I have been meaning to do this. Table for one with a sea view. Found a lovely glass heart again which I am keeping for myself today ❤️

Set up for the day now

Glad you got a good breakfast @RainbowZebraWarrior - I didn't know you could just go into the Premier Inn for a buffet if you're not staying there!

@petitpasta mainly flute, sometimes the basics of other woodwind and piano. It honestly isn't too late, I've taught lots of people who took up an instrument in retirement, in fact I've got a student at the moment who was a complete beginner with me about nine months ago and is retiring this month.

Had a fairly productive day here of clearing out and packing. Sold some books on one of those websites you can post them to, so a couple of parcels gone off to them. Am also passing on some musical instruments that I don't play to local friends so looking forward to them popping in to pick those up at various times.

Leftover curry for lunch today, and I think some sort of cream cheese pasta this evening.

Glad you are doing a bit better today @RainbowZebraWarrior premier Inn breakfast sounds like a brilliant idea. Going out for breakfast is one of my favourite treats. Making time for yourself is so important (but somehow always at the bottom of our lists!)
How interesting @petitpasta about your grandmother being a glove maker. I have tiny hands and most gloves are way too big for me. Years ago on holiday in Rome I treated myself to a very expensive pair of leather gloves that fit me - well - like a glove. They are one of my favourite things. I feel very grown up when I wear them, instead of my usual fingerless woolly mittens in the winter! Imagine having a bespoke pair made for - what luxury.
Am sitting in my new yellow painted kitchen with a glass of wine. Just had lasagne for tea. Looking forward to a nice sunny weekend. Enjoy your Friday evening all.

That is so interesting, @petitpasta My maternal grandfather was a cobbler. He was a foreman in the factory and worked as a clicker, cutting the leather for the shoes. My grandma was a seamstress. Between them, they kept the family clothed and shod. Sadly, he died when I was a baby - I would have loved to have learned some skills from him.

The universe is looking after you today, @RainbowZebraWarrior Glad it’s been a better day.

I’m visiting mum, who seems rather tired after a busy day. I’m taking her to see my brother tomorrow. DS2 is busy cooking a great meal involving stuffed courgette flowers - Vn. I brought them down with me today, wrapped between two moist tea towels, and was dispatched to the supermarket to buy ricotta and lemon. DH is home alone, which is interesting as he has also had a busy week. He managed to lose both of his new caps in less than 20 minutes before I left, asking me to search for one of them by popping the bonnet on my car in case he had left one on the engine when he sorted my screen wash. …. Hoping the house is still there when I get back!

Good evening, all.

Plus points from today:
I got the guanciale and have put one in the freezer for future recipes.
It's raining, so saves me watering the garden.
I got some of the dead plants out of the garden and into the brown bin which will be collected tomorrow. (If it stops raining, me and DD are going to do some late evening weeding)
Have had a lovely chat with a fellow traveller that I am still in touch with from 20 years ago.
We made it through the week.
Mum and Dad are both home, safe and behaving themselves. (For Now At Lesst)
DD had her hair cut with only a minor meltdown.
Waitrose have been and all stuff is put away.
Mr Darcy is having a Nice Time sitting on a box under my perch stool (see photo)

Slight negatives:
My Dad's skin graft has failed. We have to go back next week (after prostate nonsense)
Premier Inn brekkie gave me a poorly tummy, but was still worth it.
I forgot the loo roll and kitchen roll as I was in the middle of updating my waitrose order last night when things Went Down.

Wins I will take:
Spoke to Mum. Initially angry and defensive (I get this) but subsequent texts show she knows things need to change.

Positives always outweigh the negatives if one looks hard enough.

Ooh, and DD's school have been gifted a baby grand piano. This brings back lovely memories for me of standing around our school piano aged 10 with a group of girl friends and a very talented young lad who played 'Woman' by John Lennon- after hearing it only once - while we all sang along.

Hope you survive the weekend with MIL @petitpastait is never easy to navigate difficult in-law relationships and is something I personally can't do.

Lasagne, wine, and a newly painted yellow kitchen is a great combination @Markknopflersheadband My mother always said (when he was a bit more cheerful) that Yellow is such a happy colour. I also like the colour variations of 'Buttermilk' and 'Clotted Cream' Back in the day, I guess most folk either went with Brilliant White or Magnolia!

Enjoy the leftover curry @martha79 and well done on the clearing out. You're doing brilliantly.

Please tell me more about this road trip @CrushingOnRubies it sounds exciting!

I started typing out something earlier today... but I am delighted that the breakfast was good going down @RainbowZebraWarrior, even if it was not so good leaving you!

@petitpasta I envy you, your glove heritage, several years ago our knit group discovered the Terrible Knitters of Dent and decided to make gloves for Christmas... they were great fun to make and as I also have small hands, it was great to kit a pair that fitted, a pic of the gloves will eventually appear on here.

@martha79 Yes, I have had some brilliant finds on Vinted and eBay, a couple of years ago when I moved into this flat I decided I was going to own Cashmere sweaters, I now have over a dozen and they keep me so snug over the Winter, I never pay more than £20 for them. I am currently kicking myself as there were some very cheap Tilda fabic bundles on Vinted and I hesitated which was silly. Although I did have a result with someone mispricing an Alice Caroline Liberty kit for £30 instead of £225!!!