Presents

[rocktheparty008899]

We spent hours looking at.gifts for my son’s family and children - getting things we had noted they had mentioned over the years. Today we received our presents back of photos of the granddaughter. We have no family photos up in the house so not our thing at all and not even the photos we said we liked! Feel like we are always second best and know it is only a photo but no thought into us or who we are.

OP, clearly they are proud of their family and think you will be pleased to have the photographs. I’m sure they sent them BECAUSE you have no photos up - they thought you would like them. So put them up, and be pleased when they come round. Next year, make sure you let them know what you actually want! But don’t be ungrateful - they were well meant.

Did you just receive a pile of prints or were they framed? MIL and DM love receiving photographs of their GC, it’s all they ask for and all they would be happy to receive but we do always buy them other gifts as well.

I would cut back on the gift buying from now on and just buy for the GC. Don’t buy anything else for the adults if they don’t make any effort for you.

Don't be on gifts then.

Be thrilled!!! They do care!!! The good news is that you all love each other and are scouring what little info you each give. Top tip: share more !

They've clearly spotted that you have no photos of the wee ones ... they can tell by your well considerered gifts that you care, especially about the GKs and the photos mean they know that you love their little ones and they love you too - they've been watching/looking too. It's not 'only a photo' - they care enough to clock that you don't have any and have sent you their favourite ones of the favoured ones. (you can learn from this)

You've done well too. You have thought carefully about what they're missing and addressed this by giving thoughtful presents and likewise, they have done the same. What if, on their side they're saying, 'We can see they love the GKs. Do they think we like/don't like ...?'

Can you ever go to visit? Can they come to you? (My relatives live in the New World and it's hard - we only meet occasionally - so our gift giving is sincere but slightly off target sometimes.)

Next step - divulge your interests more ... blabber on ... video call every 2 weeks even for only 10min. in which you walk around your house and blather on and on about knitting or brass band or bird watching or ... anything. Try to up it to weekly and encourage them to walk around)

And it seems mercenary but my in-laws have come to love a tradition from my family: Christmas lists.

In your free time, consider this short story ...
americanenglish.state.gov/files/ae/resource_files/1-the_gift_of_the_magi_0.pdf

What do they usually buy you?
We always gift the grandparents photos of the children. They are at an age where they don't particularly want anything and would rather we kept our money for ourselves as they are more financially stable.
Does your son think similar in that you don't really buy for adults?