How do you decide when to stop buying for your DH / partner

[Liz1tummypain]

I just never know. For the children we can discuss it and get everything out and look at it and decide. But this year I can't work out when's enough.

Do you have a rough mental budget, is it that you give approx say three packages to open, do you know what you might receive and so give about the same ? I can't decide what's the right thing to do . Partly because he chose a ( fairly cheap) jacket he wanted for himself this year. I don't know.

How do you decide the amount of presents for your other half/ husband?

I just buy one present for him. And I expect to receive one.

We usually get three things, but some might be small. I like to make sure he has a gift to use on Christmas afternoon, like a game to play or some sort of craft thing.

We do one main (usually suggested by the recipient) and a couple of smaller things e.g. book, jigsaw then a stocking with sweets, gadget, can of cocktails etc. We don't match either budget or number of gifts exactly but it tends to be in the same region.

As a partner is, by definition, an adult, then they don't need lots of stuff.
I usually give one major present (often a voucher for a hobby or activity, holiday, theatre trip etc).
Traditionally, I also give him socks/pants/PJs, plus some chocolate!

It is complicated by him having a birthday on 24th December, for which he also gets a couple of presents (this year, tickets for an event we've already been to, preceded by dinner, and also a shirt by a favourite brand).

We never discuss costs, what to buy each other or how many presents - we both just use our initiative.

Honestly we are a bit random but we don't usually do big gifts - I basically send him links on WhatsApp and vice versa (this year I'm getting a cashmere beanie and a few other bits). Normally do 3/4 things each. His family don't do adult presents at all. Mine do token stuff only so Christmas isn't a big present fest other than for the kids and now they are teens that has also dialled down a fair bit.

Presumably you have a conversation and ask how many gifts they’re getting for you if you’re not sure?

We don’t even do presents anymore, but when we were in our twenties we did. Then we still talked in advance, e.g “I’m thinking of not getting you a physical gift this year but organising a weekend away? What do you think? Are you fine if I book a random weekend, are there any dates you can’t do?” etc.

One main present, and a stocking with little bits in. Job done

Thanks for everyones amswers.

Re ages - he's almost 60 and we've been married over 30 years. It's somehow not so easy this year to know when to draw a line. Now I'm almost out of time, the line has finally been drawn I suspect.

Thanks very much and Happy Christmas 🎄 🎁

Neither of us ever wants anything mega, so usually give eachother approx ten items for Xmas Stocking - I always have a maximum budget and choice of things like chocolate are made when I know roughly what else I'm getting.

We have decided to stop doing presents for each other (and for almost everyone else). It’s freeing.

We decide early on. For years now we buy something between us. Whether it be a new TV, soundbar, gig tickets, cinema etc...

This year I have decided to pop a couple of bits in our stocking. Nothing major, but things we will definitely use. There's nothing we really want or need to justify spending loads on presents for eachother. We're happy with our arrangement 🙂 Would rather use our money for other things 😊🥂

We don’t get each other a gift, we buy something together that we both want - one year it was a fancy and expensive lampshade, this year we are all going to the theatre. Been married for over 20 years, neither of us needs more stuff.

If he wants something he generally just buys it, so apart from bits he uses he’s hard to buy for. So we tend to each organise a night away as our present, it costs a similar amount and doesn’t lead to even more stuff in the house.

We Have a joint account that we put in equally for household expenses but otherwise we’re financially independent with our own accounts and budgets which I think makes a difference.

Neither of us give to receive so we’ve never really discussed a budget or system for gifting, it’s always been whatever we could comfortably afford. That has resulted in times where it’s been uneven but neither of us have ever been bothered by this. Saying that we’re going away in the new year so for the first time ever agreed a spend limit.

DH and I have been together many years. We tend to discuss it. The discussion is normally me saying - "we spent a lot on X this year, how about we do minimal presents?"

We agree to buy each other "one thing", which costs around £50 (think bottle of something), and inevitably get each other one or two very small items, posh chocolates, socks etc.

It's nice to have something to open on Xmas day to feel thought about/ loved/ appreciated. But I don't see the point in expensive gifts as we both work, have disposable income and tend to buy what we want, when we want (within reason). DH feels the same.

I imagine new couples do things a bit differently. Or if one person doesn't work/ doesn't treat themselves then that person might have a long "list".

We all (me, husband, adult children, and grandchildren) each have four gifts to open. They range from the expensive down to something simple, like a bar of chocolate (to make up the numbers).

I don't know quite how/why we settled on four gifts, but we've done it for years.

We have a set budget that we agreed

I hate the Mumsnet something you want/n
wear/need/read for kids- but do and I do something similar for each other.

We don’t have a budget, but we do want / need / wear / read and a stocking, so it’s relatively self limiting. I guess I’ve spent around £700 as he wanted power tools and needed a new decent waterproof jacket.

We have a set budget of £100 each. If he wants something he tends to get it himself so I tend to buy him four or five smallish gifts. Or a main present that's consumable but I know he'll like (aftershave or a good bottle of brandy or something like that) and then make him up a hamper of little treats that he likes.

Since our dc were late teens, we have had a family list where everybody puts ideas for what they’d like. Dh and I tend to choose one ‘big’ item from each other’s list and leave the ‘small’ items for the dc. We also like to try and surprise each other with another smaller item or two.

Thanks for all your answers. It has been helpful..It shows how different we all are and we just have our own approaches
I'm glad I asked the question.

Merry Christmas ⛄

Is he 12?

We simply give a loving card to each other. We’ve saved them all over the years, they may give whoever lives longest a little comfort. The best gift.

We always set a limit. But this year we’ve booked holidays!