Struggling with Christmas

[EssexSkipper]

Hi all, sorry to be a real downer, but can anyone relate to a feeling of not being ‘enough’ and able to provide a ‘proper’ Christmas for your child? I don’t mean financially (I realise that makes me really privileged compared to so many btw) I mean all the magical stuff you’re meant to create and the social aspect. We have no invitations over the next few weeks. I feel very isolated from old friends and family for various reasons but not helped by depression and perimenopause. But… I have a lovely 8 year old who needs me to be strong and energetic and for the time to be special meanwhile I feel a sense of panic and just want to curl up in a ball. I was feeling this already tbh but an extra curve ball has been my other half having a pretty serious health diagnosis land out of the blue this week. I’m not sure what I’m expecting from this but I guess anyone to reassure me that we can do it or any advice on how to fake the festive spirit so my son can have some wonderful memories of this time?

I’m so sorry you feel like that. I was an 80’s kid so we didn’t have all the hype and pressure to create magic. Some of my loveliest memories of Christmas are just playing with my new toys with my mam. Watching a Xmas film at the fire. You can do these things simply with an 8 year old and they will remember it. Happy Christmas. 🎄

The health diagnosis is definitely going to require some 'fake it til you make it', sorry you're having to deal with that, but the rest? Think about what Christmas would mean to you without social media or TV advertising. What would you be looking forward to? What do you and DC enjoy doing together that you'll have more time for this week? Most of the stuff I remember doing with my parents and grandparents over Christmas was just extensions of the norm, but a bit more relaxed. Longer dog walks, board games like monopoly or ludo instead of quicker card games, meals that took a bit more prep and cooking time, baking together because it didn't matter if we made a bit of mess, we had time to clean it up...

Christmas isn’t some battle to get through or it shouldn’t be.

Take today to sort the house out, do jobs slowly and take time to relax with your son.
Watch an animated movie, Arthur Christmas is great.

Would you bake together? How about finding a recipe for biscuits you can hang on the tree?

Then tomorrow evening go for an early walk when it goes dark to look at the Christmas lights in your area, take a torch walks feel magical with a torch.

Sorry you’re feeling low and that you have yourselves OH’s health to worry about. Staying at home with all the decorations up when it’s cold out can be really magical in itself. How about some cosy crafty activities like baking gingerbread stars and drying orange slices or painting pine cones to hang on the tree. Cuddle up for a Christmas movie marathon with sparkly lights, Christmas pajamas and home made hot chocolate or mulled apple
juice. Hide a load of those tiny Lindt gold bunnies around the house and have a treasure hunt. Wishing you a Happy Christmas!

I echo this sentiment, although I was a child in the 1960's. All this "magical" stuff and "making memories" is a new invention. And in my opinion utter commercialised bullshit. Children are just happy to play with their new toys, eat too many sweets and snuggle up with mummy by the fire to watch a film or hear a story. I'm 68 now, and I cherish the memory of stirring the Christmas pudding with my mum or my Dad specially cracking walnuts (my favourite) for me. These are the very best of memories that will last a lifetime.

Every year on Christmas Eve we go out for brunch and then after dark we go for a drive to look at people’s Christmas lights. This has become a tradition in my house, maybe your son would enjoy the lights too

Sorry to hear you’re feeling so low. Make it memorable with the simple stuff. Duvet and pillows on the sofa. Lots of snuggles. Make crazy hot chocolates together pouring on too many marshmallows. Going for a walk to see some lights is always fun. Make reading ‘twas the night before Christmas’ tradition. Play Christmas music when opening the presents. Don’t put pressure on yourself xxxx