Feeling miserable about Xmas as a separated parent

[TaraC25]

Apologies for the grouchy post, but I am feeling sorry for myself.
I didn't imagine my life looking how it does: My ex decided he'd have a midlife crisis, do some drugs and bonk another woman.. So I find myself separated.
It's been a long time, but I still find Christmastime really hard - I guess people underestimate the grief and heartbreak that comes with separation and divorce.

I will be waking up without my children on Xmas morning, then I'll get them back later in the day.

I just find it hard to find joy in it now. They're beyond the magic of believing in Santa anymore, so there's that too.
It just all feels a bit shit.

Oh and I work in the NHS too, so I'll be back at work very soon after Xmas (it makes a change to get a Christmas Day off actually, I've worked many)

I just feel grumpy and depressed. Am I the only one?! 😏

Couldn't leave you unanswered, but you would probably get more of an empathetic response on the Divorce/Separation board. This is my second year separated (hopefully divorced by next one!) and I know it is hard, no matter how busy you keep yourself.

My family is overseas too so it is just me and 2 teen DCs who aren't big on displays of festive emotion!

It's like the kid's story - you can go under/over/around it - you just have to go through it. I think lots of self care is important, whatever that is for you. For me it is a walk with the dog with a hot drink, long bath, heated blanket on the sofa, movie, fancy chocolate, book. I am a simple soul! But I have learned to go with it and just shut everything out for a while and now it is a really comforting type of ritual.

Then I do a FaceTime to 'home' and my extended family and the noise and the stress and the tension on everyone's faces makes me feel very lucky indeed!

Have a restful, restorative and gentle Christmas, however you spend it x

Sorry you’re struggling. You’re not alone!
Single parenting is tough. Xmas is a struggle for many people too.
I know it’s difficult but maybe you can try to make the most of your free time. Think about how you can optimise your day off and what you can enjoy whilst you have time to yourself… a leisurely breakfast in front of your favourite film? A relaxing bath/ face mask/ manicure? A walk without the kids moaning they don’t want to join you? Treat yourself to a book/ magazine?
Take care. I’m sure your kids will be home before you know it and enjoy chilling out with you. X

First as a single parent this year. Just make the most of the time you have alone and with them - so relish the peaceful lie in and doing whatever you feel like with the house to yourself, then prepare to spoil them rotten with attention when they arrive. But don’t forget to consider the emotional upheaval they’ll be having whilst you’re not there. Will they be emotionally drained when they arrive and ready to veg out/relax by themselves or will they be ready to snuggle on the sofa with a movie, play a game etc? I’ve no idea what to expect so trying to prepare for all eventualities - I’ve got them first though.