Would you say this was fair re unequal amounts?

[sunshineonmeith]

So DD(8) is getting about 28 presents (this includes from abroad family). DS (7) is getting 20 but includes a reptile pet and it’s vivarium etc etc. We’ve actually spent more on DS and I strongly suspect that he won’t care about most other things at the time when he gets the pet. We have all done a lot of research on this animal and even if the novelty wore off then dh and I would still look after it and enjoy it so it won’t be abandoned or neglected if DS doesn’t stay interested so don’t worry about that. Is it okay in this context for DD to have quite a bit more to open? DS has also had his room done up this year and got lots of new bits just to make his room nicer, not out of necessity so he has had more than dd throughout the year too.

Well it would be unfair on your DD to spend even more on your DS. Getting him a pet for Christmas teaches him nothing good regardless of how good pet owners you may be, so if you insist on doing it I wouldn’t buy him extra stuff too, he needs to know the pet is a big deal.

I think you know your DS’s personality best and if you anticipate he will be happy with what he gets you he probably right. Don’t sweat it.

I would take an extremely dim view of any Dudley Dursley-esque counting of presents and “but she go more”. I certainly wouldn’t spend more on the other child in an attempt to prevent it

Well blow me over 28 presents?!? Ok I understand people do things differently. Do you think your son will notice? I mean would they actually be counting? I know my kids would have noticed if one kid got five presents and the other eight but if one was very expensive then they’d understand that at that age.

I think they have to learn that the present they receive are for what they cost not how many. One child might want a consol that can cost £100s so would only get 1 present.

It depends very much on whether you're a 'count how many presents you've got' kind of family. I think they've both got quite a lot there tbh, it seems like a LOT of presents so you could probably cut some out for both of them and then distribute through the year if you wanted.

Or wrap some of DF's presents together so she has the same amount of stuff but only 20 parcels to open so it feels equal.

If it were me I’d give them 7 presents each and donate the rest to a children’s charity

Ooh. What reptile? My DD has a snake, and friends have a varied collection of 30 reptiles.

No it doesn't matter.

Growing up my brother always had less gifts than me because he was into more techy stuff which was more expensive. He never seemed bothered.

I think the difference between 20 and 28 presents is going to be difficult to tell it's not like he has 2 and she has 20. Plus size might make a difference. My DDS have similar amounts but one has a really huge thing and bigger things like trainers and a puffy coat whereas the other has a phone and make up so much smaller. They won't be bothered at all, although they are older so easier for them to understand money etc. hope he enjoys he present!

My dh got a dpuppy one Christmas.. That ddog was adored her whole 11 years. We lost her early this year. .
We've had reptiles and they make fab pets. Quite low maintenance once you get the hang of temp /food details..

Assuming they are both getting things they will like I cannot see a problem . If my now adult children had ever even thought of counting the number of gifts or totting up the values I think I would wonder where I went wrong in raising them .