Help me feel festive

[Unaccustomedscrooge12]

Morning everyone
I am going to start this by saying that normally I LOVE Christmas. I am the kind of person who wants to get into the festive spirit straight after Halloween (and would happily skip that altogether to be honest). However, I have had a really tough time since July for various reasons, literally everything has gone wrong in all corners of my life, work, family health issues, finances. It has been truly awful - I haven't really had anyone to unburden it all to, just had to keep going. I am feeling the lowest I have ever felt...

ANYWAY I can't believe it is the 17th December. The normal 'me' would be so happy by now, full of festive joy, cosiness and happiness. I am desperate to start feeling that again - even just a little bit. Please can you share any advice on ways to life my mood and get into the festive bubble more? Nothing expensive please, cooking recommendations very welcome - sweet and savoury - plus any free/cheap things to do.

Thank you so much.

Oh gif sorry I’m the first along op, exact same here, one of my only days off before Christmas and I’m literally just sitting here even though nearly everything needs to be done!! Hopefully someone else comes too!!! If it helps it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas nearly helped me yesterday!!!

Watch some cheesy hallmark Christmas films. Check out the christmas section on Janes Patisserie website for some fab festive baking ideas. Hot choc or mulled wine with some Christmas snacks. Do you have any Christmas markets or fairs near you to visit?

@BlackCat14 Thank you so much. Any recommendations for films? I will take a look at Jane's Patisserie (thank you!), hot chocolate also sounds lovely. There are some markets but everything is so expensive that I come away feeling really useless that everyone else can afford to buy these things...

I am so sorry you are feeling like this too. I think the worst thing is that I am normally so happy at this time of year. To be honest, it just feels like life is falling apart. The fact that Christmas hasn't offered some respite from feeling like this makes it worse. I feel like I am 'wasting' the festive season but just can't get 'into it' like normal. Not sure if any of this makes sense. Gosh, I sound like such a moaner, I really don't mean to.

Accept that you feel stressed and accept that you have a right to. You have a lot going on. Remember Christmas does not need to be what it always has, it can be what you can cope with this year. For me the little things make a difference, lighting a festive candle, putting up some lights as these fill me with joy, a cheesy Christmas movie where all will be well in the end. Do what you can snd do not feel guilty. Last year I framed my Christmas as a rest and restore one and decided to just do what I could, let go of the rest and allow myself the gift of doing things or not but with no pressure.

We have had some hard Christmases

They happen and that’s ok

What do you usually do? Are you and up and out or in and relaxed? And do some more of that.

Big hugs.
A cheap and non alcoholic but as good festive drink is grated ginger in apple juice. If you’re feeling flat there’s just enough prep to keep you present but not overwhelming and it’s a proper Christmassy kick!
Another free Christmassy buzz you could get would be a carol service. Lots around.
I hope Christmas 2026 is better for you and you find some joy this year too.

Think of the worst things that can happen and make a list then cross them off when they don’t happen. I.e.forgetting to defrost the turkey in time, flaming the pud and setting fire to your eyebrows, finding the red cabbage under the back seat of the car having wondered what the smell is and blaming the dog. I could go on.

I saw this and really felt for you. The pressure to 'feel Christmassy' sounds like it is adding to your woes. I often don't feel it until after Christmas and then I feel like I wasted the build up, which I suppose should be the best bit? Maybe if you stop chasing the feeling it might appear, like trying to remember something then when you stop it pops into your head? I always think Christmas and New Year draw the previous year in to clear focus so it's no wonder you are feeling so low. I do hope that you can find some solace.

In terms of suggestions, a carol service, even if you are an atheist, can help. I enjoy the traditions and familiarity of the service and feel peaceful in church. Our town sometimes has choirs attending too which might help to put you in the mood. It is being in that communal setting I think that helps.

I saw small kids singing Christmas songs at the entrance of my local supermarket the other day, cue tears from me and a bolt of Christmas spirit!

Gingerbread syrup, sounds odd but that in a cup of hot milk is a real Christmas treat, (M&S sell it).

Cranberry sauce with everything, even a cheese sandwich, a small bowl of chocs to dip in to, nuts, a Christmas mug?

Maybe think about the hygge mindset and use candles and soft lighting? I think it is the winter solstice on Sunday, perhaps go for a walk somewhere nice and then light candles and cosy up when you get home? If you can create a feeling a peace at home you may be able to relax in to the festive feeling.

I do hope you feel better soon.

You’re welcome, hopefully some of that was helpful!
So I know they aren’t to everyone’s taste, but I love the cheesy hallmark Christmas films, that are very predictable and samey but I think in a way that’s post w of the appeal, just comfort! If you go on 5OD and look in their Christmas film section, there’s loads!

Fireplace on Netflix or YouTube! I light a candle too, and put some classic fm on, it really makes me feel cosy and quite Christmassy when they play carols. Most definitely keep it as relaxed as you are able to, a reset after a difficult year. I basically do the above for any and all of the times that everyone else is out and it’s now completely necessary!

Hi OP,
male this recipe, it tastes of Christmas and looks lovely
https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/chocolate-clementine-log

And remember this is natures time to slow, we are wintering.
Follow the seasons and slow down a bit, enjoy stepping back for a bit, you will still have a lovely Christmas 🎄

Christmas time can be difficult for lots of reasons. When I've felt lonely because DH is working nights all over Christmas and my adult children are with their in-laws celebrating I've found what works for me is going against all my expectations for Christmas Day. So, sleeping late, staying in a nice pair of pj's all day, having nibbles and buffet food when I feel like it, watching schmaltzy Christmas films on Netflix all day and generally just resting and chilling out. Thinking about it, they have turned out to some of the most feel good times that I've had. Don't beat yourself up about how you should feel but think about what works for you. It doesn't need to be expensive, just restful and relaxing.

I feel the same but hopeful that once DD breaks up on Thursday that it starts to feel Christmassy.

Sorry you’ve had such a difficult year. Maybe reframe your thoughts about Christmas from the standard time we all expect to be happy and excited to more of a submission of yourself to winter - the short days and longer nights. A time to hunker down and rest, enjoy some lazy days. Have some nice fairy lights and candles around the house, nice hot baths and plenty of reading on the sofa. Take the pressure off yourself, there’s such an expectation to feel happy and have the perfect Christmas, it can all get a bit much an overwhelming. See it instead as a time to catch up with yourself, enjoy some slow, quiet days with nice food and drink.

I relate, op.
This has been the worst year of my life since my sad died 12 years ago ☹️
Both my dc have had/have this awful flu now
Hoping after the weekend I'll feel more festive
Do whatever helps, and don't feel that you're "failing" at Christmas x

Sorry you are feeling like this @Unaccustomedscrooge12 i am similar, usually I’m Mrs Christmas but just not feeling it this year for various reasons.

I think what has helped me is being organised and getting everything done early so I can enjoy December, which this year just means enjoying the peace and quiet now everything is wrapped and sorted (appreciate this is rubbish advice given it’s the 17th dec!).

I think try to accept you feel differently about it this year and that’s absolutely fine, we don’t need to do all the festive activities/parties/outings but can enjoy a quieter Xmas. Some things that have helped me get more in the mood are:

-watching the Xmas films I know I love (love hard, the holiday, die hard)
-treating myself to a Starbucks egg nog latte and sitting in peace for 20 mins
-festive treats like mince pies and chocolate
-reading! I’ve been reading some festive murder mystery books which I’ve really been enjoying rather than watching tv recently and it’s definitely helped me feel a bit better

and if I suddenly get the urge to do festive stuff in February then so be it! I’m an adult with free will and I will watch home alone if I want to! 😂

Another one having a hard time and struggling for Christmas spirit here (and I like to start prepping in September and generally feel ‘full Christmas’ from November).
Like you, I have stressed and bad news coming from everywhere and it’s hard.

Do you have a partner? Children?

What is helping me:

• Accepting that I’m stressed and that’s ok
• Writing down my to-do list and getting it done
• Letting my over excited LO sing me Rudolph and jingle bells a million times a day
• A little bit of in person shopping (I picked up a decidedly non Christmassy click and collect the other day but parked one end of town and walked through to get it and just enjoyed the cold, the lights and the feel).
• Putting the decs up. We’re having building work done and it’s overrun slightly so can’t have everything but just putting the lights on in an evening makes me feel calm if not festive.
• Going for a walk when the sun is going down

Like a Pp, I expect I’ll feel randomly Christmassy in Feb/March and I’ll pick up some festive craft projects then but for now I’m just accepting that this year is going to be a hard one. It all feels a bit easier now I’m not fighting it and beating myself up for not being my usual self.

If all else fails, fairy lights, drink of choice, comfy clothes, muppets Christmas Carol/home alone and either cheese board or chocolates, whichever you prefer.

Sorry you’re feeling low, OP. As a PP mentioned, the fireplace videos on YouTube or Netflix are lovely, that crackling fire sound is really cosy. And a nice hot chocolate (Clipper does a really good one) with marshmallows and squirty cream.

Something a bit random that lifted my spirits recently was accidentally stumbling across some Country & Western music, which then inspired me to explore different styles of Christmas music , monks, Asian, Country & Western, African… all with their own takes on Christmas. It might sound a bit weird, but it actually made me feel more festive, almost like sharing in other people’s ways of celebrating.

Thank you so much for these suggestions. I think your 'random' one is inspired. I might also look up different festive bakes from around the world too...

Wow - I am really touched by everyone who has taken the time to respond, I am so grateful. You have all given some really helpful advice, especially around managing expectations and reframing my mindset. Yes, Christmas looks different this year - I need to accept that is ok and look at it as a time to restore after a hard year (easier said than done).

To those of you who are in a similar position, my heart goes out to you. Please continue to add anything on this thread if anything else helps!

I hope you all have a peaceful, happy and healthy Christmas. x