I am 31F and not working due to disability. My brothers are 40M and 42M and highly successful. For the last 15 years our price limit has been £100. I checked in November and my mum said it was again. Then today she said my brothers asked for something that was £50 so I need to choose something different that cost £40. I had asked for a waterproof coat and ordered it in the sale. I said she just didn’t need to reimburse me all of it if £100 was too much. Though honestly I would have return it otherwise as can’t afford it (didn’t tell her that). Since 16, she says my presents have to be functional, so I thought I had done the right thing. Normally coats, shoes, medical stuff. My brothers have asked for man toys really (remote controlled car and a construction kit).
I do her a nice stocking and she says if I do one for her she will do one for me. I buy her a present and a surprise, so that’s about £70 ish. Sometimes jewellery or books or tops. My brothers asked for £60 presents from me (more toys and bags) and £100 birthday presents (aftershaves). I asked for a £30 present from them both as our limit used to be £25, which I would like back as their expensive requests are killing my savings. So I don’t think they actually considered the cost just asked for what they wanted. I also buy a surprise for them both as they both said they missed how we used to have thoughtful surprises. We had five years when one brother asked for £200 presents and then my other brother and I were just being given cash too - which I always said she didn’t need to do. In my mind, me at 18 didn’t need to same as a brother at 27, so wish she didn’t it more based on age than year! She said they were being conscious she is now retired, which is fair enough. But then my brother said he actually asked for a £50 present hoping she would get him some thoughtful surprises as she doesn’t do a stocking for him anymore (as he won’t do one for her). I also think a key thing is they now earn so much that whether something is £50 or £100 makes no difference to them. My boyfriend doesn’t get it. His parents are both retired and do huge stockings, an outfit and a £150 present for all their kids, including the 50 yo. My friends are similar but even more big ticket items - air wraps, air fryers, stunning coats. They said they just ask for what they want and as long as not insane don’t have to worry about the price. All for the above in the good careers themselves and retired parents who insist on doing it as like seeing them open their presents etc. We have always been a bit different as when I was young I always had to find a toy under £25 or £50. We were more comfortably off too!! Mum also said to me today she won’t buy me clothes anymore as a few years back I had to exchange something that didn’t fit when she bought me a surprise. I actually miss us going to choose a Christmas top or opening up a small surprise top so that hurt a bit too. So what do you actually buy your adult children? Is a £30/£40 limit normal? I should say it isn’t about the cost. I am grateful for anything and I have just asked for a surprise so excited for the thoughtful gift after all! It just might not keep me dry! But I am a bit intrigued if people in a similar boat.. It is just the 4 of us and we don’t do extended family presents anymore.