A thread for those not ready for the big day ....🎄

[flowertoday]

I am struggling this year. I meant well, I started early. I booked a food delivery slot.
I have wrapped some things. We have a Christmas tree, it is decorated.
I am so not feeling it though. My dad died this year. It is the anniversary of my sisters death today. My family have had other losses. I feel sad and tired. The shops seem overwhelming. I have lots of presents to buy. I am working all the time. It just all seems too much.
I don't want to be a misery but just wondered if there are any other folk out there who could relate and offer some solidarity. Christmas feels like mission impossible this year and I am nothing like Tom Cruise, or like any other functioning adult really.
Posting in hope 🙏 ❤️

Solidarity. My condolences. It would have been my dad's birthday today, though he's been gone for 15 yrs. My husband died in January, '21. Taking everything together, I'm not really feeling the Christmas spirit and not really prepared.

I'm now retired, so I don't even have working as a reason for being behind.

I've ordered three presents online - they're going straight to the recipients. I've taken chocolates and a card to the practice and to the pharmacy. Haven't organised the rest of my cards.

I've ordered a butterfly turkey and stuffing from the butcher.

Yes i feel you op... No tree up... No cards up. No presents bought. Both parents have dementia, Dad in a locked ward for a year. I feel like heading under the duvet not heading to shops to buy stuff no one really needs 😳
Someone needs to revamp Christmas. Quiet time. Hibernation. Getting cosy and relaxing. Not rushing around squeezing way too much into already difficult months.

Sorry for your loss, its shit for the first year (or ten) and you don't have to pressure yourself to be feeling it if you're not, be kind to yourself and cut some corners - you've actually already done a lot.

would an amazon or argos shop deal with most of the presents remaining? don't overthink it, torches, radios, waffle makers and electric blankets, or books, cover almost any scenario if you need them to! Or a Hotel Chocolat order and if they don't like them they can regift them!

Thanks everyone. So sorry about your dad @Forthelovagod . It is so hard to see loved ones in that kind of care, however nice a unit it is.
The endless consumerism of this time of year does feel so empty. Need to seek light and a bit of quiet elsewhere xx

My Mum has died very prematurely in august 24. Since then, my dad has been struggling and my only sibling has moved to another country for work.
I am mentally and physically battered by the events of the last 2.5 years (mum had a out of the blue stage 4 cancer diagnosis) and I don’t want to do Christmas, I don’t feel joy, I am sick of seeing the world just carry on.

I do have two young DCs, so as they say, the show must go on, but I am exhausted and overwhelmed. Sending you a hug, OP. 💐

Sending love @flowertoday and to all those who are struggling. I lost my mum at Christmas, 13 years ago now and I’d managed to find a love for the season again but some years are harder than others and this seems to be a hard one.

In theory I should be ready. I started early, have wrapped what I’ve bought so far, have done the food order and decorated the tree/ house. We’re in our new house which I dreamed of for years and it should make Christmas so much easier than previous years hosting (including a relative that stays for a week which previously meant DD camping in with us) in what was a tiny house.

But I feel very flat and sad - the bit between being organised early and shit it’s a week away I’m not ready has raced by. I’m working full time and it’s really full on. DD finishes on Thursday and I haven’t entirely figured out childcare yet. We’ve had some really sad news within the family, it’s an ongoing and difficult situation for some of my very very favourite people and I’m just so heartbroken and worried for them and it makes it hard to be all full of festive cheer. I haven’t managed to get together with all the people I actually want to see and spend time with, and for the first time I’m actually starting to resent that we have in laws and said relative every year and otherwise they’d be on their own - before I didn’t mind at all as I’d never leave anyone on their own and I can see my own extended family at other times, but this year I just think no fuck it I don’t actually want to but too late now! Everything has been so bloody expensive this year. It sounds silly but DD is now in year one, and they don’t do half the lovely things they used to do including no nativity so somehow I’ve just not quite got into the spirit of things the same.

It feels like a shit load of work and expense for not much this year and I hate feeling like that because I can usually muster up a fair bit of excitement, but nothing is doing it for me.

And mostly I just miss my mum, and dad and grandparents and my lovely great aunt and everyone who used to make Christmas Christmas. I feel like the version I’ve got now isn’t really ‘my’ Christmas but importantly, it is DD’s and she loves it so we’ll keep it up.

Sorry for your losses @AliasGrape and @HeartyViper .
I have children and we have to try and keep Christmas on the road for them xx

Empathy
I don’t feel much like celebrating, for various reasons. It’s ok to scale back and do what feels manageable ❤️

My DD hasn't been in school for weeks is now having home school every day. So I can't do anything when she is here.i work on the weekends so can't do any then either. I've got a few presents to buy and all the wrapping. Plus the food buying.

@flowertoday I have none of what you are going through, and I still don't have our tree up and have yet to wrap a single present, and have in fact not quite finished getting everything. My excuse is we have been building and just about finished our new dining room but now that's done I can start ridding the entire house from the dust, so much dust, and start decorating for Christmas.
But, I do have the food shop booked for the Monday before the big day. I just need to finish adding what we need to it

Gentle unmumsnetty hugs to all of you, and I hope if you can't celebrate the day as you usually would, it's as gentle and bearable a time as it can be 💐