Single Parent Christmas Support thread.

[GrannyTeapot]

I thought maybe there are people who would appreciate a gentle place to chat/get some solidarity.

I’ve been on my own with the kids for years, sadly have no parents/extended family left so it really is just us. I’m pretty prepared so far, gifts all bought though not wrapped, but I’m not looking forward to going to fetch the 6ft tree on my own tomorrow - it needs heaving in to the back garden to sit in a bucket of water till nearer the day. The eight year old will enjoy helping though.

My biggest tip is definitely duplicate stockings, they have made my life SO much easier.

It’s just me and my kids every year, I prefer it but my family were very toxic so I love no longer having to spend Christmas with people I don’t like

Hey

Can I join? Just me and dd

I'm a bit sassy on aibu but relatively normal outside of it!

Its just me and dd(6) and dcat(2). Its our 5th christmas just us three. Dd has autism and so is non verbal. This is the first year she seems to understand who santa is and that he is bringing presents. The trouble is, I dont think she cares about new toys 😄

Still, ive got her some plush toys which she likes, some bluey toys. Need to get some books, more sand, a ball, some arts supplies

That'll be it really

Solidarity with you both, its tough doing it alone but the alternative imo would be worse. Weve made the right choice ❤️

🎄🎅

Hi @mumofoneAloneandwell and @parentparenting 😊

Being alone with the kids is far far better than toxic families or exes, I agree! I have kept some of my childhood traditions - we don’t open presents until after our dinner and the washing up, as I really want to sit with a cuppa and enjoy ithe time with them. (They do have their stockings at 7am, autism means we ALWAYS get up at 7am lol) I generally find it all pretty peaceful, though I do miss adult conversations at times.

My DD6 is obsessed with the Beano and New Zealand, she doesn’t really play with imaginative toys but will be overjoyed with the Beano Annual and I found a 1961 wooden shaped jigsaw of New Zealand cheap that she will squeal over bless her. Her big sister is in to Stitch at the minute so has been quite easy to find for.

How do your plans go?

Can I join. I've been a single parent for 15 years, and normally it's just me & ds, but this year we have an elderly neighbour and her dog, coming to lunch.

I'm fairly organised. I've got most presents. I've still got ds(17)' big present to buy, but my boiler failed last weekend, so now I've got to find £400 to have it mended. That means I might need to buy ds' experience in January or February, which is a bit of a blow.

I've got most of the food and wine, so we'll be fine. I just wish it wasn't always so tight.

This is lovely inviting your neighbour and dog 🥺🥺

It’s me and my DD12 although will spend Christmas dinner with my mum and dad, my uncle and my partner (not DD dad) it is nice but I do miss the Santa stage but learning to accept it’s a different kind of magic and fun. Still got a few bits to wrap and get couple bits for others but should be okay 😊

@Meadowfinch that sounds like you’ll have a lovely day ☺️. I hate how tight things are too, we are eating a lot of soups/stews all month to give me some wiggle room for ingredients for mince pies etc but there’s a fair few Christmas food items I’ve bought previously I simply won’t be getting.

@Cece92 that sounds like a really nice day. What do you tend to do on Boxing Day? We have a bonfire on the beach and drink hot chocolate and toast marshmallows there if it is dry…somehow mine all think the beach on a winter’s day is exciting even if it’s freezing lol.

Just me and 4 dc all autistic 2 also adhd, most bits are done although they find christmas a bit over welming. We are having pizza 🍕 for Christmas dinner followed by vanilla ice cream! Youngest ds requested sellotape and a pk of blue tac for christmas, oldest wanted a giant jar of nuttella. Hope everyone has a lovely Christmas 🎄 x

It's just been me and my 2 dc for the last 8 years ( fled dv when my youngest was a baby ) we did have extended family but I went nc a few months ago as they kept playing favourites with my children and it was all really toxic.

I'm not done yet 😅😭 but this year is such an expensive time of year for me, all 3 of our birthdays are November, December and January 😅

We do a buffet style Christmas dinner where they can just help themselves to whatever they like. We are all ND ( only been diagnosed the last 2 years) and my kids can be particular about what they eat

@onwardandupwards now thats a yummy, feel good dinner. We are a veritable smorgasbord of neurodivergence here too, and one of mine also wants Blu Tak lol.

@Petpeeveoftheday that is expensive re birthdays! The buffet sounds a good idea, for a fair few years I did our roast Christmas Eve and the buffet on Christmas Day and it was all so relaxed. I’m sorry you had to go NC, it sounds like you made the best decision but it’s not easy.

I got my tree today, got it in the car fine and then when I got it home (in to a bucket of water in the back garden for the next week or so) I was quite pleased I hadn’t struggled as much as last year; I must be stronger 💪😊.

It was the children’s Nativity tonight, I volunteered to man the refreshment table so I wasn’t just sitting on my own at the get-together afterwards. It’s a lovely school but things like this everyone always seems to bring partners or relatives or friends.

@GrannyTeapot autism here too, dd will wake up for 7 or 8

Then we'll do presents but she hasnt been interested in previous years

Then just unlimited snacks and screen time, for the one day, why not

I've got my eye on beef for this year. Wanna make a proper go of it as well 🥰

I love beef! Your day sounds like it will be nicely relaxing for you both, that’s always the best.

We are having gammon as the kids asked really nicely for it months ago, I’m just not sure if my own autism will allow me to do chipolatas and bacon rolls with that - 3 meats from the same animal on one plate seems ‘wrong’ lol. The children don’t care whether we have them or not, as long as we’ve Yorkshire Puddings, so this dilemma is all Mum-made 😂.

It is expensive and also kind of sad because all our celebrations are all at once instead of spread out 😅😭

I always make a fuss at Easter to make up for it 😅

That was brave of you to volenteer at school! Did you enjoy it?

Weve just relaxed today. I bought one of those pop up sleds to store presents in and omg i had to use so much table to make it stable!

Some of my autistic daughters Christmas presents arrived today. Their such simple items and she will be over the moon with them.

She loves herbal tea and also hot chocolate with cream / marshmallows so I've ordered her a kettle infuser kind thing ( cat shaped because she loves cats ) A range of tea leaves, a milk frother, 1kg of hot chocolate and 1kg of marshmallows 😅 she's going to be thrilled

In reply to your last comment my kids have wanted home made bolegnase for 3 nights in a row I'm so fed up of it 😅

@Petpeeveoftheday that kettle infuser sounds great! I love getting presents that are perfect for mine - one year my DS just wanted a blue and white swirly lollipop from Santa, this was pre Amazon selling anything apart from books, and we lived in the middle of nowhere but I managed it and he was so happy.

The nativity went well, the refreshment stall was hectic but it was a great idea - kids played with friends and I wasn’t just sitting like a lemon (I don’t know anyone and it’s a close-knit community).

I’m actually amazed at myself - I have wrapped everything already!!!
This week we have school Christmas Party (need to bake for it), School Christmas Lunch and school Church Service on last day.

Hope you have a lovely Christmas 🎄 It’s also only me and DS(9) who is non verbal over the Christmas period. Christmas Day we are going over my mums for Christmas dinner though. Hope your DD has a lovely day! I haven’t come across many people that are in a similar position to me and DS - we need a cat to join us! How do you manage the school holidays? DS thrives on a routine so hoping to keep him busy.

Hey everyone

Hey @PoptyPin ❤️ - solidarity fellow traveller 🥰

Honestly, i cope okay as shes quite chill. As long as I get her out of the flat once a day, even just to the park, I can generally keep her in a semi routine. Christmas is hard because of all the sugar 😄😄

Its tough being on your own with a non verbal dc as you start talking to yourself! I speak enough for the both of us, I say. Dd loves the cat - definitely think a pet is a good idea

I will catch up on the thread later this evening 🥰🥰

Hey everyone

Will people be updating this thread during the day? Or is there a chat thread for us mums that runs yearly?

I'm actually in NYC with dd - only ror a few days, but its my dream!

Dd is poorly 😭 so tomorrow will be a very chilled one, maybe a bus ride

Wow NYC sounds amazing! Have a fantastic time! Sorry to hear your DD is poorly, hopefully you can manage to have a nice day together whatever you do.

It would be great if we could update this thread throughout the day. My youngest is up and full of sugar already! My oldest and his Dad will be over at 8am to open the Santa presents 🎁 It’s my first year walking up without seeing my oldest and his sibling together opening their stockings, I’ll make the most of the few hours they get together at 8am, it’s hard but making the best of a bad situation this year xx