All the little gifts add up

[SmalltownCEO]

I have had the conversation with parents , siblings and nearest and dearest we are not doing presents. 100% agreement. No one needs anything.

But I have lovely friends I see less often, giving me £15 worth of candles, food and flowers.
I have friends with December birthdays who would understandably get annoyed without acknowledgement they gave presents to people earlier in the year.
I also now have had two get togethers a week every week until January 6th. That’s a bottle of nice wine at the very least if nit flowers / chocs / cheees - £20 a week being tight.
People that give nice gifts appreciate being given nice gifts … so what do I do to avoid spending £100’s on friends and drinks just to be polite- not actual presents ?

Are you likely to get any hosting gifts yourself?

Quite honestly if I were looking at spending less, I’d put anything to one side that you can regift (obviously to different people/sets of friends!) - including any bottles of wine you’re given, and then just fill in the gaps. I tend to do this with alcohol (I don’t drink, have never drunk, and still end up with at least 4 bottles of wine as gifts every year 😬) but also any candles I won’t use/chocolates not to my taste.

I’m not hosting anyone sadly. I absolutely would have but every weekend is full and what with the birthdays and at least one night out in the week if not two, plus working full time, it’s all too much.
I’ve already knocked my normal quiz night and the local cinema club on the head to save time and money.
I mean it’s lovely to have lots of opportunities but it’s getting too much. But then I don’t want to be tight/rude.

You can't turn up without anything to someone's house, but could you offer to being a dish instead? You would have needed to pay for your own meal anyway. If not then decline some of the social occasions. Tell any friends that this is the last year you want to exchange birthday gifts, wo don't buy for you net year.

What is the problem exactly? Is it that you don't have the money, or that you just don't like the culture of gift giving or worried about waste?

I would absolutely give wine, cheese etc gifts. These will get used, not wasted, and don't cost much.

You get hosted for the evening (and presumably fed & watered) for the cost of a bottle of wine etc, seems good value to me!

If your friends aren't part of the same group, you can always regift the presents you're given if they're appropriate.