So my ex and I have been doing alternate years for Christmas for years. One year he has DS Christmas wee and I have DS new year week, then the other way around the next year etc. It has always worked and my our DS has always been happy with it. This year is supposed to be his year and I started a new job on a set shift pattern. Originally in my interview they said I would be working Christmas this year and have new year off, which worked out great since it was his year to have DS for Christmas anyway. Because it took so long for my DBS to come so delaying my start, my rota now shows I will be off Christmas this year and working new year. If he still has DS this year, that means I will never get a Christmas with DS again. That’s because next year I would be working Christmas so still wont get to have DS then the next year will be ex’s year again. I asked work about changing it but they said they can’t as that would mean changing the rotas of other staff which isn’t fair and I completely understand that. I spoke to my ex and asked if it was possible to reset the alternating years so I get to have DS this year instead since i’m off, and he has him next year. I said I understand that does mean him missing this year and it sucks but if not it would mean I miss every year, which is unfair not just on me but also DS. When I ask he avoids the question no matter how I bring it up. AIBU? Also it is not possible for us to do Christmas all together.