Wonky Christmas tree I’m going to explode

[Pinkclouds80]

Oh my god HELP ME. Guilted into a stupid massive fifty quid Christmas tree from the garden centre and one of those metal stands with the twisting screws to grip it and IT WILL NOT STAY STRAIGHT.

I know I’m autistic and a grinch but I’m not a monster so I can’t throw the itchy ugly uneven needle dropping monstrosity straight in the garden bin: DS 9 and DS 6 have already named it fucking Nathaniel.

Every year the sensory overload of clutter and glitter and shite turns me into a sea witch and I’m doing my best but TELL ME THERE IS A HACK OR A STAND that will stop me ending up serving life in prison.

Please. Please. PLEASE.

You just need to keep straightening it and adjusting the screws. Unless it’s the tree itself is not straight.

Sorry but 😂. Poor Nathaniel! I can’t offer the help requested but perhaps you could try to embrace the wonkiness? It could become a family story in future years….”remember the year we had that awful tree, named fucking Nathaniel, and it drove mum nuts?”

Big, deep bucket filled with mud. Fuck the stand.

No idea but your post made me laugh - you write so well!

I have an amassed colour coordinated baubles for my tree but I have to use them sparingly and alternate them each year as my autistic DS (21) finds the sensory overload of too many frustrating.

So I get out the box and set him on a mission to decorate an acceptable tree 🤣

Pic of Nathaniel?

You need one of those lever pump stand things not whatever this screw hell is. One person hold tree straight and the other tighten with the lever.

Pack out the trunk gripping bit with chunks of wood so the screw tightens tighter.

Voila:

I have that Krinner tree stand and it’s great! Especially compared to lying on the floor and manually trying to twist four screws equal amounts. Two years ago we bought a tree that was doing my head in it kept being crooked. Turned out it was the trunk of the tree and nothing could be done. If I set the tree to look straight it was actually crooked (and fell over at one point). Drove me mad all Christmas.

Embrace the wonkiness? Please can we have a picture of Nathaniel in all his wonky gloriousness?

Tighten the screws and put something under the stand to even it out? I feel your pain, I think I spent more time straightening the tree this year than I did decorating it!

😄😄 do show us Nathaniel, op x