How much to gift money to Grandchildren?

[Bulldog01]

We don't have contact with our grandchildren, largely due to Mum & our son no longer together.It was a acromonous seperation.Mum now has a new partner, with 2 more children.Our Grandchildren are aged 16 & 14. We always give them money/cards on birthdays & Christmas.£75.00 each at Christmas.£50.00 each on birthdays.Pocket money £20.00 each monthly.Not sure if these amounts are about right? We are retired,not comfortable yet,as I will not receive my pension untill Early 2026.Happy to hear your thoughts!

Sounds fine but are you sure your GC will receive it and their mum won’t take it?

I think that's very generous, especially the ongoing pocket money. Does your son not see them? Are you in touch with them at all?

That's fine/generous @Bulldog01

As the others have said though, do you ever speak to them? Are they definitely getting the money? I'm so sorry you have lost contact. One of the pitfalls of relationship breakdowns. The grandparents (usually the paternal ones) lose touch with grandchildren. I hope this gets better for you, and you get to see them more soon.

We discovered many years later that my DH's 1st wife binned all gifts, cards and pocketed all gift money from the estranged paternal side of the family (i.e she refused to let anyone see the kids, thankfully as adults they now see how damaged their childhood was and went NC with her). Anyway, can you trust ex DIL? If it's possible, I would ask GC for their bank details and personally I would stick to £50 each assuming you can afford that.

That's about what I give my GC's. I don't give them pocket money, but I see them regularly so they get treats instead.

No,our son lives in Australia.He has no contact with his Sons.I would prefer our son,to make contact.He is still emotionally struggling with it.He cannot or will not, put his Children's needs before his own! Mum,let's the children choose how they spend their Christmas Money gifts.

Sounds generous to me if you have no contact with them but I’d also be concerned about them actually getting the money. How do you send it?

I personally wouldn’t give pocket money that should be from parents but it’s hard to stop once started

Your son is incredibly selfish, so it sounds like you'll have to try and build bridges with your ex DIL instead

That’s generous. Do you see them ? Do they thank you ? I wouldn’t be giving pocket money. Not on a regular basis anyway but my two are still too young for that . But I buy them small treats often .

Why don’t you have contact then? Mum allows you to send stuff, you know where they are, you know mum lets them choose what to spend the money on. Why don’t you see them?

As above comment , would their mum not allow you to see them ? They’re not babies so maybe you could take them out for the day or for something to eat if they live close enough . I know grandparents that do this despite their son not being on the scene

Op it's very generous like others I wonder if better in bank account. If the new partners dc don't get money then they may be splitting your money

Providing you are certain that they receive the money then yes, it’s fine and nice of you to put them first here. You’re clearly wanting to contribute in some small way and this will be noticed and appreciated in time, if not now

is there any way you can have contact?

I think its fine. Your doing a good thing in a hard situation.