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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Very fussy friend present ideas

5 replies

Aocats · 26/11/2025 13:46

Help! What do I buy my friend for Christmas?! She is very fussy! I have bought bath stuff/ creams and lotions etc before and she has got her point across that they are not well received gifts. She also would not like chocolate or any food gifts like a hamper. She is also the kind of person that already has everything so it’s really hard. I’m thinking jewellery but I have bought her a lot in the past.

OP posts:
Dreamerinme · 26/11/2025 13:52

Jewellery is very personal so I wouldn’t buy that unless she has specially said to you that she would like ‘X piece from this shop.’

Depending on your budget how about an afternoon tea voucher, Waterstones or cinema vouchers? Or some kind of other voucher.

If she’s so particular and tells you she isn’t keen on previous gifts then I wouldn’t be agonising over her gift and just get a voucher.

StruggleFlourish · 26/11/2025 14:01

Honestly, don't get your fussy friend anything for Christmas. Really.
This isn't being cheap and this isn't being mean.
More than likely your friend is just very particular, and knows what she wants, and probably if she wants something, she gets it for herself.
Christmas in particular but also birthdays, those are the worst times a year for people who "have everything/Don't really need anything"... Because you keep getting stuff from people.
And I know, she's your friend and it's Christmas and you want to give her a gift because you feel that the expectation to do so is there, and you would feel terrible not giving her a gift because it would feel like you're a bad friend, but honestly, the best friendships can survive no gifts.
I don't want more stuff, and the stuff that I do want, I want to be able to choose for myself. I am not fussy, and I am always grateful for anything that someone chooses to give me, but I don't need people spending their money on things that I really don't need or don't want or can't use or I'm just going to regift/give away.
It annoys me to get something that I have no use for when there was something else I could have used a lot more, something much more practical....

Like, I would love a big sack of bird seed. Cuz I love feeding the birds. Now I know a big sack of birds feed even if you put a bow on it doesn't seem very festive as opposed to for instance a cutesy little basket full of hand lotions but if I use the hand lotion, with my sensitive skin, I'm going to break out in a rash. I can't use most products. Most people who know me, know that.
And lovely chocolates or biscuits or some other sweet is always a kind gesture but I don't eat that stuff. Now that doesn't mean that I can't put it out on the table when I have guests over. I do. Because they're lovely chocolates or biscuits, I just don't want to eat them.
I don't want more stuff. And the stuff that I do need, nobody thinks to give as a gift.
I'd appreciate a gift card to the grocery store or to the gas station or to the pet food store... Something practical. To me, that shows that you understand me, better than any other gift.

I am so glad that I've gotten out of the stressful and empty habit of casual gift-giving. I really hated having to buy Christmas presents for my husband's mother, brother-in-law, sister, sister-in-law, brother, nieces and nephews, great nieces and nephews.... You don't really really know what they'd really really want and it just seems like such a waste of money to buy stuff and you know darn well they're going to just get a bunch of random stuff for you too that you don't really want and you don't really need.
So years ago I put an end to that by making my Christmas present a donation to a organization that I know the family cares about.
Granted, they weren't expecting that. The first time I did it, I think they would have rather had light up singing vibrating battery operated slippers that you unwrap and you laugh and you put them on and you say "oh wow, great thanks!" (And then you throw them in the closet and you never see them again because they're stupid and hideous)
When they open their card, which was handmade by myself, and found out that I had donated a sum of money to the local humane society, or their local children's aid society, or the local cancer support organization... They were like, "what, I don't have any gift to open?"

But they got used to it.
I've been requesting for years instead of them buying things for me for Christmas, to donate money to for instance the local animal shelter. Because that would make me much happier.
Now all of my gifts are like this, a donation in lieu of stuff, or, I give a very practical gift. Something that I know that they'll be able to use such as my example of the big bag of bird seed if I know that they feed the birds (or if you're not sure what blend they prefer, a gift card to the place that sells the bird seed and say in your card, I wanted to get you a big bag of birdseed but I wasn't sure which kind you liked, I know that you'll have pleasure in seeing the birds happy, and I get pleasure in knowing that you're happy.

Or something like that.
Donations, practical gifts, shared experiences that you'll both like, just less STUFF.
That's my two cents anyway

Beamur · 26/11/2025 14:09

Virtual gifts?
https://onlineshop.oxfam.org.uk
Christmas meal for a homeless person? Centre point
Do they have a pet? Something related to that
Garden? Sarah Raven have done nice things like bulb collections
Outdoorsy? Etsy have things like personalised marshmallow forks and kits, hand made sit mats

https://onlineshop.oxfam.org.uk

Nowdontmakeamess · 26/11/2025 14:11

Maybe agree to not exchange gifts this year and just meet for a meal or drinks instead

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