Anyone else find Christmas totally overwhelming

[Rosienose]

There’s just too much stuff, too much choice, I end up completely overwhelmed if I go into town and then same online.

I don't enjoy this stage - it's a pain feeling the weight of responsibility of making it special for the kids/teens. I have to have a spreadsheet to track what they've asked for, keep everything fair, and remember what I've "allocated" to which relative to buy (my family prefer to be given something to give, and transfer the money).
Also have to make to do lists and shopping lists for hosting. But once all that's out the way and it actually comes, I love it!

You have to wrap while they’re cooking watching TV or out with DH.

Spread sheets and lists are the answer 😬

I write lists for each of the dc, things I want to buy, things they have shown interest in. I then stick to the lists and buy most things online. Same with gifts for other people. I can’t cope with going to the shops and trying to find gifts for each person (I end up buying random sh#t that no one will use/like).

I have a list for food too.

I never really bothered with Christmas in my 20s but now I have a kid I find it fun. I enjoy the magic. I buy gifts for my daughter, my dad and the godparents of my child. Mum friends/teachers etc. all get the same handmade gift (baking and something handmade and personalised). I've booked a couple of shoes this year (all local). I recycle the advent calendar each year, they have little wooden tags with simple festive activities to do which we hang on the tree plus a mini gingerbread man for the kiddo. We do a bit of baking, some crafts, read Christmas stories, look at the lights, listen to Christmas music. Get the Christmas box out and decorate the house up. That's it. I do most of my shopping online and start way in advance. I always like to get all shopping etc done by 1st Dec so I can enjoy the festivities.

No, but I only engage with it the way I want to. We spend Christmas Day at home just me, my husband, and 4 year old child.

We open presents together in the morning, have junky cereal for breakfast and just potter about. I make sure we have our favourite Christmassy snacks stocked up. We eat out for Christmas dinner so no cooking and we see extended family on Boxing Day.

Gifts are kept to a minimum. 4 year old gets the most, husband and I do stockings for each other, and extended family mainly get chocolates and alcohol.

I had a complete meltdown a few years ago, as I was the only one making an effort. I no longer do Christmas...

I will do pressies for the one relative who insists and loves Christmas, otherwise nada, no tree, no extras, no decorations, nothing. Bloody loved it last year..

I used to get overwhelmed, but I lowered my standards and my expectations, and bought a big bottle of Baileys.

I think the menopause has actually helped with the "who cares?"

I find it overwhelming as I have social anxiety, and there are just too many days within a short space of time where I have to be with lots of people, laughing and joking for a long period of time. I hate opening gifts in front of people. I hate people opening gifts I've got them in front of me. I hate going to my partner's family because we don't see them as much as mine so it's still not really comfortable even after being together over 8 years.

Honestly, I'll be so amazingly glad when it's over. My favourite time of the year is Dec 27th-30th as those days tend to be free and quiet, set aside to read, eat chocolate and watch TV.

Do you have children though? Even if they’re adults. It’s impossible to opt out if you have family .

I do most gift shopping online, although I do still have Christmas shopping days out, having them planned for York, Sheffield and Liverpool (picking DD up from uni. She has only one early lecture so we'll have a day in the city and she'll share the drive home).

I use these as festive days out with friends and family. I don't enjoy nights out drinking. We'll have leisurely meals and will buy gifts and decorations. It tends to be extras not necessities, taking the pressure off. I love visiting independent shops and Christmas markets. They are also weekdays. My two closest friends save a day's annual leave to ensure crowds are at a minimum.

I buy none perishable food items from November onwards. Things like bread I'll buy and freeze and croissant, pain au chocolat for easy treat breakfasts, I buy ready frozen.
The meat for Christmas Day is either bought fresh then frozen or delivered by a local butcher. Root veg, cheese, etc. are absolutely fine bought a good week or two before the big day. This only leaves milk, cream, green veg, fresh herbs, uncut bread and anything I've inevitability forgotten (which I'll pay slightly over the odds for), picking up from an independent mid-sized supermarket a five minute drive from home. It never gets hit with chaos like I faced in Sainsbury's a few years ago.

No stress. I know I could get a delivery slot, but like to choose for myself for Christmas.

Lists are your friend...

I was in town today meeting a couple of friends for a catch up and we walked though the Christmas market thing The lights and the tree were pretty but the over priced tat on the stalls and the cost of the rides and the refreshments were horrendous. It's the long drawn out build up that I stuggle with, almost two months of it which gets more intense as the days go by. I have posted on here before how my family is grieving the loss of one of the young members who died a shocking death this year and honestly I wish Christmas would just fuck off. It is going to be yet another painful day to get through. The mere thought of them no longer being with us is so hard that I want to cry just thinking about it There must be so many people who are grieving and find all the endless spending and fuss too much to cope with. It dawned on me this evening that I will never be truly happy again which I can handle most of the time but Christmas feels like salt in the wound. I will put my little tree up and have lots of lights to try and chase some of the darkness away

I don’t buy for anyone except my DD. It makes life a lot easier and cheaper! it’s all a crazy waste of time and money for anyone else. My family are very happy with this arrangement. If you really feel you have to give presents, a simple gift of chocolate, flowers or wine is perfectly acceptable. It’s really not worth getting stressed and overwhelmed about. Christmas is meant to be enjoyable. Only do what you feel comfortable with.

I keep it simple to avoid overwhelm. In my lifetime Xmas has become a monster! Xmas pajamas, elf on the shelf, decorations up super early. That’s too much for me.

I loved Xmas untill lost my father in law a few years ago. now it's not the same. I like the time off -am lucky have two weeks off this year. but I hate the pressure to have a magical one hate all the tat that is being sold. Everyone gets money or vouchers off me. around where I live there is about 5 houses with their tree up and lights on all ready no its still November 🙄 everyone on insta putting up there trees pictures if matching pyjamas. like we have another 4 weeks till the 25th. mine won't go up for at least another 2 weeks. I send cards as I like that but don't do too much else

There are no kids in my family, but a few years ago my entire family mutually agreed to not bother with presents. There is zero need to feed into commercialism and buy mindless tat that nobody truly wants and needs for the sake of it. It is insane that so many people get into debt because of it. Christmas comes around far too quickly and is exactly the same every year. The same meal, the same annoying songs and enforced merriment, while the country is turning to shit. I wish Christmas came around every 4 years, that way it might be a little more exciting and worth splurging a bit more on. This year, we are going away for some winter sun.

I liked it more when we had a big family Christmas. Now its divided up over December, we have two trips to see family and friends.
On Christmas day we will just be 3 adults so not doing the turkey route .

I dont do cards and haven't for years.
I buy presents for my DC, nephews and parents.
We have the same decorations we have for years. We bake a few mince pies.
I go to a few parties, out to the pub a few times and a couple of Xmas do's. Go to a free community sing a long. All organised by others as Im too scatty.

Xmas roast is just a roast plus some cranberry sauce and Brussels sprouts.

We eat a few snacks, play a few games and watch a film.

I think this is where I’m glad that it’s just our little family with no extended family to worry about. We buy all the gifts in Black Friday week and get the kids little chocolate advent calendars. We get a food delivery from Tesco and do one trip to marks and Spencer for party food. Wrap all the presents Christmas Eve after hot choccy with the kids.

oh and we always go to a local pottery place and make a bauble/mug/plate each year to pack away with the Christmas things and just use for Christmas.

All very enjoyable things and makes Christmas Day/Boxing Day a very chilled affair.

If I were you, OP, I would try and reduce and chill Christmas down as much as possible so you start to enjoy it a bit more

Agh! I feel you!! I have so much going on in the lead up to Christmas. My husband, children’s, dads and best friends birthday are all on top of Christmas. I host a Christmas dinner for friends in the run up plus always host for family on Boxing Day. I plan lots of Christmas wellbeing events for my company plus I always organise a Christmas weekend away for the social club I run. Oh and also the company raffle (think between £11,500-£16,000 in prizes).

its absolute chaos but I love it… never get overwhelmed… well except last year was slightly different as my mum wasn’t well at all so I did absolutely everything where she usually pitches in. But was still great either way.
I save from january, 2 different savings. One wit DP which is the envelope saving challenge and one by myself. Before someone comes at me with not everyone can afford to save, I’m very aware but I don’t drink, smoke, have my hair and nails done because it’s not my thing.
i always search for offers, discount codes, loyalty card deals, nothing I buy is ever full price ☺️ even when the dc want the trends. I used the prime day deals. I try to get a sense of what dc are gonna ask for. After DD’s birthday in September is when I start buying because by then she’s been shopping to spend her money on stuff she didn’t get.
they are too old for Santa now and not into pantomimes. They love a Christmas market though and the light shows. I’m not a massive fan, find them totally boring so they usually go with DP.
we don’t entertain anymore and even when we did there was no massive pressure, and we pretty much have the same Christmas as I’ve had as a kid with some minor tweaks here or there.

Christmas was once fun when it was a month long, now its like 6 months long.
I gave up doing it not done it in years its so freeing.

Not not really BUT I was thinking today that if I still had small children and was in perimenopausE I think I’d find it all way too much!

I was in my 20s when I had my kids and all the parties / nativities / carol concerts / Xmas jumper days etc etc etc never bothered me or stressed me out. I do genuinely think I would lose the plot now.

I do make ALOT of lists though.

Dinner Xmas eve in a restaurant...Xmas morning walk at the beach and a drink of course....then home for steak and chips, dessert and tv of choice. No stress, no family, no visitors. Perfect. Choose your own day.

Nope. I love it. In my younger days (dark ages, before online shopping) I loved going to the late night shopping on Oxford St. I remember M&S having a different live music on each floor. Everyone had to shop in person so it was hustle and bustle and Christmas lights…
Now as the matriarch in our family (I’m a widow since my kids were small) of course the behind the scenes drudgery is mine, but I still love it. Not so much the washing up after (hoping my son will take charge this year) but love buying just the right gift, wrapping it up, choosing the right tag. I love writing Christmas cards (though the cost of stamps and I’m doing a cull this year - over £3 to send a card abroad)! This Sunday my son arrives to help get the (real) tree and put it up. Exciting! Bring it on! 🎄🤶🏼

I've had a few Christmas that were overwhelming for a few reasons, but I think I've got the hang of it now.

In terms of the prep, the key for me is just spreading it out over a couple of months. I enjoy doing it all, so I didn't want to reduce the volume of prep as some people do, just reduce the stress. Over a few months, it all gets done bit by bit, whenever I have time, and nothing feels rushed or pressured. Online shopping is a huge help, because it entirely removes the stress/pressure of feeling like I must find something in a few hours. Also enjoying the prep, not treating it like a job. Doing it in a way that my son can join in, not being a matyr and doing it all myself etc.

Then in terms of the festival itself, I've found that I just need to build in quiet time so that I don't find the whole thing too much.

If I'm hosting, that is easy.. I just do all the cooking. Lovely. I can escape at will from the crazy noise/bustle into the kitchen and quietly get on with my jobs, and then join back in as much or as little as I want.

If, like this year, I'm not hosting, then it is a case of just making sure that there are quieter places where I can enjoy smaller moments of peace. The Christmas day walk is lovely for this because not many go in my family, so it is nice and peaceful. And this year my son has some toys that are too small for other young children, so we've sorted him a spot in another room to play with them. Which sounds perfect, as I know there will be plenty of moments when I'll be able to get away from all the social stuff and just go and quietly play with my son, which will likely end up being some of the more special moments of the holiday.