What are you buying for yourself (single parents)

[Worriedwakinghours]

Single parent getting to my fourth Christmas since my marriage ended. Last year I had the idea that I would start buying myself some gifts so I have presents to open as I don't have many people in my life, child is too small to buy something and definitely do not have a partner. I'm a saddo I know. Last year I bought some books, nice pyjamas and my favourite chocolates. I do buy myself nice things throughout the year but want to mark Christmas with some smalls gifts to myself.

Anyone else in the same boat and what are you buying yourselves?

For context I am now estranged from most of my family and LC with my parents.

I was a lone parent so every Mother’s Day, Christmas and my birthday my DC would get really upset on how to get me a present. No one ever took them shopping to get me things even though they saved their pocket money, I always thought a family member or my best friend would when they saw my DC was so upset. I’d even ask and get told no and that I don’t need a gift, I was asking not for me but so my DC wouldn’t be so upset. Got easier as my DC got older as we’d go in shops together and I’d wait discreetly at the door.

Now that my DC is an adult we have pets and I have a partner so we all get an adult stocking as the pets can’t not have a stocking. So I’d finally get a few gifts under the tree and a little stocking which I love.

One of the very worst years was when I was on a very low income and my family wanted my DC over Christmas so I had to drive DC to their house a hour away for christmas afternoon until the new year (to find fuel money for extra journeys like that each month I’d have to go without meals). Not sure what they thought I was going to do for all those days, I spent them completely alone and really depressed but pretending I was OK watching tv. And the only thing I got after buying everyone in the family special things was a toaster from one parent. I didn’t even need a toaster, they just got it reduced at work and decided that was all I needed. So I got a toaster and a mince pie and then was expected to leave as they were all going to have their Christmas meal together. I told my DC I was working as I had done other years so they’d not worry about me and have a magical time opening presents and seeing all the family.

Sadly this year though my partner has decided we aren’t doing gifts at all, not even a stocking, so I’m back to square one and feel really hurt. I’ve not got much money currently as not working due to my health but I’ve got my adult DC a surprise advent off of Etsy, Christmas sack of stocking bits and bobs to open in the morning before they leave for work with a bit of cash. And the pets have a Father Christmas stocking each from me. I know my DC will buy me something for under the tree to open in the evening when they finish work so I can’t complain I’m getting nothing but I am upset and low after having a terrible year and this really hasn’t helped. My DCs advent was so nice that I had a look for myself and a fortnight ago I bought myself a wrapped advent calendar as well as I decided I deserve some surprises. I will probably save one or two of the presents to open on the day.

So yes enjoy your presents to yourself. No one deserves to feel as low as I have done in previous years.

@OneNewEagle why does your ‘partner’ get to decide unilaterally how you will celebrate Christmas? This sounds quite cruel.

I’ve been single for 14 years and have always done this. My family don’t do gifts (long story) so as no one else is going to buy me anything why not?

I’ve done really well in the Black Friday sales this year! A beautiful piece of jewellery I’ve had my eye on for months was half price, so was my favourite perfume and I got some fabulous sparkly accessories that will be used to bling up any outfit
for years to come.

I did that with DD last year. She bought me some really thoughtful presents! She was soooo excited to buy things for me. It was really lovely!

Well, the Stripey Cats next door have come up trumps, they bought me a new coffee machine from Argos... however, as they do not have opposable thumbs they asked if I could go and pick it up. Apparently if I did that, I would be allowed to start using it immediately... I also noticed that some of vouchers I had received at work had gone missing

I ate my Lindt bunny from the choc calendar this morning, have yet to attack my quilting Advent calendar from the States but I did open my yarn calendar from Wee County Yarns to gaze in wonder at the wool and will cast on shortly.

Have just read The Eights which was very good

When i was single I use to buy some things in the January sales and wrap them up so by the time Christmas came around I didn't remember what anything was so it was a nice surprise

There’s just me too, when my kids were little and wanted to “get” ne something we’d go to a little shop I like, I’d pick out 3 things I fancied (and could afford). Then I’d give the lady that ran it my card and “go and look out if the window” they’d pick one of the tjings, go to the till and she’d wrap it, charge my card and they’d excitedly carry it home and hide it til Xmas day! We even did it M&S - I chose two pairs of pjs I liked, gave them £20, thry picked their favourite and the shop assistant secretly helped them buy them. I got gifts I liked and they got to give me them! Xx

I always supported dd from a very young age to buy me a gift, even when she was little more than a toddler. It’s paid off as dd is 19yo now and bought me a beautiful necklace for my last bday!

When I was really skint I’d give dd a couple of quid and she could pick something from Poundland.

I really feel for everyone on this thread who are in relationships or married, with a partner who somehow can't or won't buy presents. Just reinforces that we should all feel worthy of treating ourselves whether paired up or not.

I bought my favourite expensive skincare and foundation in the Black Friday sales, it is getting wrapped and going under the tree! Still my DC's present ratio is around 10:1 so I am not feeling too guilty😄

I am feeling quite festive now. I am hoping for a restful and peaceful festive season, life is very hard in other ways for me right now so clinging on for little joys.

I've got enough "stuff" so bought myself a 4 night trip to Europe with adult Dd.

That's lovely! I hope you and your DD have a great trip.