Do I invite the neighbours

[stoptheridenow]

Been in my new forever home three years this year. The elderly couple next door are lovely. The wife is especially nice and I’ve struck up a good bond with her, she’s living with her H who’s health is very much failing him and she can’t wait to pack him off to a care home - her words.. he cheated on her many moons ago and she absolutely can’t stand the man and rightly so. They muddle along together as best they can living quite separate lives.. I walked out of a similar situation and she is very much a person in my corner ☺️ I’ve two teenage boys. I see her today heading off to the supermarket and she was quite negative about yet another Christmas pending with bugger all to look forward to. I feel the need to switch it up, open up my home - cook dinner for them both and take the pressure off. It’s just the three of us, we can certainly take another two.. should I take that leap and extend the invite? They have no family members close by and neither do I, so it will be just the two of them.. don’t want them to feel obligated but kinda feel the offer might break the norm and change it up a bit - my two teens are on board.

Will it be weird with the husband if there’s an issue there / atmosphere? If not then why not

Absolutely! I imagine you & she will have a lovely day together

If your teens are on board, then go ahead! I’m sure you’ll all have a better day, and if the NDN DH is awful, it will be something to talk about afterwards! Frankly, it’s not much more trouble to cook a Christmas dinner for five than it is to do it for three. So make your decs especially festive, issue the invitation and get planning!

If your teens are ok with it why not offer the invite and leave them to decide. It's a very nice thing for you to do and you might find it's fun.

Yeah I’m thinking it’s a good option, he will be fine and can toddle off next door if he needs a nap. She said to me recently-please don’t move, you’re such a beautiful soul and I wish I was 20 years younger! We’ve spent some time together this summer at the beach hut drinking wine putting the world to rights. She’d never told a single person about her H’s affair until then .. I can’t bare the thought of her spending the day pretending with that man.

Do it. We’ve often talked about inviting a random person from DH’s church but he’s in a care home now.

I’m sure you’ll have a lovely day.

If you think you can manage and your teens are on board do it, you might all have a really great day

You can't really leave him at home alone, can you?

This has not been suggested

Oh please do invite them, she sounds like she'll be a wonderful friend to you and I imagine you'll be a great friend to her too! I'm sure she'd be so pleased to get an invite.

You sound lovely. I imagine she would love that idea! Ask them to bring starters or desserts! What will you r DC do? Can you set a time frame?

Definitely ask her and come back to tell us her answer. You both sound fab.

Absolutely invite them 🥺

This has warmed my cockles. Sounds lovely!

Oh, this is so nice. Yes, this you should do.

There is nothing fundamentally wrong with extending an invite, but I can’t quite get my head around some of what you have said. She can’t stand the man and you are judging him based on what she is saying about an affair many moons ago, she pretends with that man and they live separate lives…why would you want to welcome that into your life and the life of your teens on Christmas Day?

Absolutely invite them im sure she would like to be asked

They’re now friends . You trust friends

That sounds a lovely thing to do.

As long as dc are ok with it I think you should.

We often have extra people at our house and it’s always been fun. It’s has been good for my dc to have other people to have conversations with over a meal, another perspective or outlook for them to consider.

I think it is a lovely idea. Check that your teens are ok with the idea. It shows the spirit of Christmas.

As suggested maybe ask her to bring a srarter or a pudding.
I hope you all have a lovely dsy.

Is she hinting for an invite do you think?
I'll maybe be called rude, but I'd be inclined not to invite them both for the day, instead maybe suggest that just you and her do something together over the festive period. That takes away the risk of him potentially spoiling you and your family's day, while still giving her something to look forward to.

I agree, would not want that vibe.

Why not invite for a festive lunch or dinner on Christmas Eve instead?

I agree, would not want that vibe.

Why not invite for a festive lunch or dinner on Christmas Eve instead?

Like most people in this sort of set-up, they will likely behave themselves for the day and put on a show of being a normal happy couple. My PILs detest each other and lead completely separate lives, but a casual observer would never be aware of it; the way MIL might describe some aspect of their lives to an ‘outsider’ bears no relationship to the reality of it. Long-established couples tend to be very good at putting on a front.

I think it’s a lovely idea, OP.