What are you doing this year that will be really genuinely in the spirit of Christmas and why?

[MycroftSholmes]

I have a few things that I feel are really Christmassy, one is going to a community carol singing in the pub. It is for charity also which makes it even more in the spirit of Christmas… ie not all about me.
What do you plan to do this year and why do you feel is it really genuinely in the spirit of Christmas?

Donating to St Mungo's.
Buying selection boxes for five young people in supported accommodation.
Possibly filling a shoebox with gifts for an elderly lady.
Maybe going to carol service on Christmas eve.

But he is welcome, even though she finds aspects of his company difficult?

She said she does it so he isn't alone. So she obviously cares about him.

She is allowed to find it stressful and unenjoyable. That's the definition of selflessness

As I said, it wasn’t a criticism.

Community carol singing in pub here too. Also inviting a few stray relatives and friends of DC who would otherwise be alone on Christmas Day.

I think going to church really brings the true spirit of Christmas because the nativity is what it’s all about. I do like a touch of the pagan too so seeing the church decorated in foliage and walking to a candlelit service in the dark and then returning home to a sparkly Christmas tree and a cosy warm home for a baileys and a mince pie is magical.

Inviting my partner's friend (whom I've only met a couple of times) to stay with us over Christmas because she'd otherwise be entirely alone. She's also vegan (we are not even vegetarian), so we are going totally vegan from Xmas Eve dinner to Boxing day morning.

Okay you win. I could not do Xmas without turkey, pigs in blankets, roast ham and roast beef!

We literally ring out the old year and ring in the new on church bells just before and after midnight on New Year's Eve.

I think that is so kind of you. Especially doing it knowing it is expected and not even appreciated as the sacrifice it is. Hope that you can have a merry Christmas around hosting.

I think this is quite an unkind comment for a thread about the spirit of christmas. I assure you, I'm not forcing anyone to come to my house.

I wonder whether you would host someone year in and year out who needs the day centred around their needs (above your dc's needs) and who you have a fairly poor relationship with?

Family relationships are complicated. Neurodisabilities are complicated too. I generally think I'm doing my best, because the alternative would be heartless.

I will go with my friend to put a wreath on her dad’s grave and have a drink in the pub to toast absent friends afterwards.

Hosting my pils, and pretending not to notice the awful comments they will inevitably make at some point, because it means a lot to dh, and they won’t be around forever.

I am very creative and arty, so I paint watercolour Christmas cards and donate them to my local charity shop. They love to have them, and I get a lot of pleasure knowing they are raising money and helping someone else.

But you felt a comment about gritting your teeth to bear the company of your disabled brother was both kind and full of Christmas spirit?

Also did it occur to you how any autistic person might feel reading your post? Cause I’ll tell you the answer is not great.

It sounds like a criticism.

You're doing the right thing.
Someone else needs a visit from a few ghosts to teach them a lesson in empathy

And to answer your question, yes I do this but not just at Christmas.

Lay in bed until dinner's ready, what else ?

Kids activities at the library

Thing is though, this isn’t about you. Or any reader, neurodivergent or not.

The OP was explaining what she will be doing that is genuinely Christmas spirited - welcoming someone who is difficult company and doesn’t (perhaps can’t) show gratitude. Well done her!

People can express that dealing with others is hard work. If it upsets you then you need to work through your feelings, not censor other people.

I won’t keep replying as it’s derailing the thread.

For me the spirit of Christmas is joy and togetherness. My highlight is mass on Christmas Eve. The same story, the same songs remind me of Christmases past going back more than 50 years. There's a sense of awe that I'm sharing that experience with billions of others all over the world.😊

My sons would probably say it's all about the dinner.😂

Help to host Dp’s kids, his ex wife, his ex mil and his mum at Christmas.

Perhaps that sounds at least slightly virtuous but the inconvenient truth is that they’re all generous, kind, fun and we’ll have a great time 😂