DH telling me to do extra shifts for xmas

[Baconbuttymad]

Ugh so I wasn’t working due to pregnancy, childbirth etc. DH has a manual job and so has been supporting us but I agree it’s been hard and tiring on one wage.
he’s now asked me to take on extra shift work so we can have an extravagant Xmas. I’m tired and stressed still but also feel guilty he works so hard….

Are you on mat leave?

Are you on maternity leave? How old are your DC?
If you aren’t working and can get some work that helps your family pay the bills or have a bit of a savings buffer then that seems sensible. It depends what he means by extravagant. Costs are going up in all areas and maybe he is feeling under a lot of financial pressure.

How many hours are you currently working? How old are the kids? Who will look after them if you do extra work?

Yes, we need more info OP. Are you on maternity leave now? How old are your kids? Do you work currently?

Totally depends on how much you are working now. If you are already FT, no, you should not be taking on extra. If you are doing bare minimum or nothing, other story.

There are lots of details missing that people will need to say whether his request is fair.

How many hours are you working as standard?

Are you paying for childcare and would need to pay for more if you did extra hours? What's the net gain if you work an extra x hours a week?

Does he really want an extravagant Christmas, or a more comfortable one? Are things likely to be tight if you don't bring in more money?

It depends on the age of your child(ren). Less than 6 months, maybe it's a little early.

But taking sole responsibility for the income of a family is a big ask. After about six months, doing a shift or two per week would get you out of the house and a change of conversation. If you aren't working at all and he's happy to care for his child while you work, I don't see an issue.

So extra shifts means your back at work? How much do you work now ie hours per week?

Or are you not working at all? It’d hard to decipher what extra shifts means as you write like you don’t work, but extra shift work would indicate you do? And how old are the kids?

No clue. Maybe he's right, maybe he's unreasonable. Are you pulling your weight, is he a CF? Who knows?

Is being tired and stressed enough of a reason not to work? If you feel guilty maybe he's right? Not enough information to say really.

MN gremlins duplicating posts again

How old is your baby?
Do you have a job or do you need to get one?

I could see his point of you needed money for basics, but for "an extravagant Christmas"... hmmm, why??

If he's at home with the dc in the evenings, why can't you work a couple of shifts each week? I'd be relieved to get out of the house for a few hours.

It all depends on what he means by 'extravagant' Christmas really. If you are struggling financially and would have to put everything on credit, then it makes sense to earn some money.

Do you have childcare if you're taking on extra shifts?

Well yeah you could help by working some. But we don’t know the details do we to be able to say much more than that? Lots of single mothers work and raise very young babies - where there’s a will there’s a way

Did he actually use the word extravagent?

Did he 'tell' you to do extra shifts as your thread title states, or did he 'ask' you as your opening post states?

Childcare? The OP has a husband who is presumably at home when he's not working. He can look after his own children.

Have a look for something 2 evenings a week. Even if it's just 12 hours a week you'll have an extra £140 ish a week on minimum wage, enough to cover Christmas and put a bit aside for some days out when the weathers nicer.
It's sensible to do as a SAHM anyway as it gives you some recent references if you're planning on a few years out of employment.

I’d up it to 16 if you can to get the 30 subsidised childcare hours.

Not if the 'extra shifts' are during his own working hours ...

On the face of it, it doesn't seem like an unreasonable request if you aren't working, unless your baby is very young.

Could you pick up weekend shifts when your dh is at home to have the dc? This worked for us.

Well id say no and start saving now for next Xmas and have one next year when you have saved for it without having to both slog

How old is your youngest child? It’s not unreasonable to expect you to take some of the financial responsibility after around 9 months/a year. He’s asking you to do a few shifts, not work full time.

It can’t be both hard on one wage, and only need an extra wage for an extravagant Christmas. If it’s hard on one wage then you need more money to have Christmas at all.

What is an 'extravagant' Christmas to him? A baby or very young child is not going to notice the boat being pushed out, or does he fancy a swanky hotel catered Christmas?