Anyone else dreaming of being away?

[LMP1990Aqua]

I enjoy Christmas, we have two young children (3 & 6 months) so I totally get the “magic” but god I miss the Christmases of past! Me & hubby use to have an early Christmas around the 20th (everyone round at ours, food, drinks, gifts) then we’d jet off/drive off somewhere for a quiet relaxing Christmas. I mentioned to our families how I’d love to take the children to a lodge in Scotland or an Air B&B in rural France & was met with horror, SIL even said “why do you want to isolate yourself” just to be clear I’d still do gifts/Christmas tree for the children, maybe not the turkey dinner though… anyone else dream of this? A Christmas escape?

No, i love being at home. Single parent with two teens. And it’s just… bliss

Mainly because it’s relaxed and easy. None of the insane unhappy nonsense I read that some mumsnetters make themselves do

We have been doing this for the last couple of years now the DSC are older, they go to their mums for a traditional Xmas and we go to the canaries.
can’t see us doing a uk Xmas again anytime soon, and if we did there wouldn’t be a roast dinner in sight!

After saying that ‘Christmas comes round again so quickly’ - you know the ‘but we got them that last year/who is going to be where this year, it doesn't seem a minute since last year’ type comments, we have taken control!

We alternate Christmas, one year at home, one year away. Even our young adult DC’s are aligned - giving them the freedom to plan something else/be with someone else.

Family know when we are having Christmas at home, they are welcome. We plan well for an amazing time.

So far, Christmas away has been in a super gorgeous hotel in Budapest (amazing, Christmassy city that was perfection) and another in Barcelona.

Totally see us doing this as the children get older, best of both worlds… I’d feel a bit grinchy if I did it now, as the children are believers, don’t want the grandparents to miss out on the magic.

Yes, good thinking. My parents were abroad anyway so Christmas was never shared.

We did the canaries the year before our oldest was born (I was 10 weeks pregnant - so avoided all the “why aren’t you drinking questions) it was lovely, we had a chilled morning on the balcony drinking coffee & eating pastries, did a few hours on the beach in the afternoon & had a curry that evening, the hotel did offer a traditional British Christmas dinner but we opted out.

When mine get to the teenage years, I’m planning on a New York Christmas, we did it our very first year married.

Our last few Christmases have been hectic (travelling back and forth to relatives) however I’m with you on the “not participating in the nonsense” so far we’ve avoided elf on the shelf, Christmas Eve boxes, matching PJ’s, Grinch visits etc. and unsurprisingly it’s just as magical but much less stressful.

I’m dreaming of it, but it’s not going to happen this year unfortunately.

If people enjoy doing that, then it’s not “nonsense”

it’s all the mumsnetters that seem to despise tasks they do over Christmas that really are just a case of them martyring themselves.

We visit family on 27th December and no earlier. For 2 days it’s me, my two teens, the dog - nice easy food from marks, board games, completely trashy films or horror films! And lots of long walks. And me bribing them off phones!

Do what suits you. Before you blink the children are grown up with their own lives and don't even invite you at all! Travel and enjoy. 🎄

This is what I keep thinking, they’re at an age where we just pick them up & plonk them where we want (literally & figuratively) but I understand as soon as they start into the teens/late teens they’ll develop a bit of autonomy & won’t necessarily want to hide away in cottage in Cornwall

I’m on maternity leave this year, so not sure if that’s enhancing the desire, as I don’t have work commitments tying me down, but at the same time our money would probably be better spent somewhere else.

I mentioned to our families how I’d love to take the children to a lodge in Scotland or an Air B&B in rural France & was met with horror,

perhaps you hankering for a quiet Christmas is because your family sound a lot bit unpleasant

Pre LO we also alternated Christmases abroad and at home.
This is our second Christmas as parents and me and DH have already talked about taking LO away for it in a few years.

I think we’re going to wait until he’s maybe 6 or 7 then do a snowy Christmas somewhere. No real reason apart from enjoying doing something different with the day (past Christmas days have been spent whale watching, a national park tour, falling over ice skating, watching a show and eating cheese and crackers while doing puzzles. All different, all lovely) and I think LO will enjoy it all just as much as long as we do the basics of tree, Santa, presents and a video call to family.

Also to add, both our families thought we were a bit strange/selfish when we initially started doing this but one SIL has started to do the same, ILs are planning to be away next year and my dad is considering it too.

We just shrugged our shoulder and told them we were going.

Due to us living in the UK and family abroad and my work having a ban on annual leave, it's very rare that I either go on holiday or spend it with a large group anyway.

I am actually waiting for retirement and then I plan a nice holiday away. DD should be hopefully a fully settled adult.

I personally never understood the "Christmas only works if the whole family is together" attitude.

Christmas is much less fun when you're the one who has to make the magic.

I enjoy the kids' enjoyment but I must admit I've taken to mentally categorising it as another work stream ("Project Christmas") and scheduling some downtime for myself when it's all over (Janmas).

I began going abroad to a non christian country to avoid the horrible family christmases which I have always loathed. I visited India. Nepal, Egypt and Morocco (numerous times) and just pretended it wasnt happening. Then I realised that my family would nto realise whether I had been abroad or not so I just told them I was going and had 2 blissful weeks on my own.

Im self employed now so I just put the autoresponder on and hunker down for a couple of weeks.

To be fair to my SIL & In-Laws they’re not overbearing, I think the way I described it sounded like I wanted to hide away…

We’ve already booked a holiday for the end of Jan beginning of Feb!! Anticipating the brain ache from all the Christmas organising, I have three iPhone notes about Christmas already 😩

I am the one that has to travel 4 hrs
to parents and family. I rarely get Xmas Eve off and if Xmas does follow around a weekend I am back to work on the 27th. It normally meant I got to them at 10pm and left Boxing Day at 2pm.

DP and I divided our families and never spent Xmas together. lots of family pressures and guilt.

last year I put a stop to it and in my mid 40s said I was not travelling and hosted. My mum died last year and she was the one that put pressure on me coming to them. My sister and her kids felt the same but lived 30 mins away.

my dad came up and had 10 friends round. DP still went to his dads but joined later. Was great no pressure and just good, drink and games.

thus year I am not travelling down and will be DP and me. Invited family but apparently it’s too far to travel. Food games and stranger things is what I have planned. We want to hibernate. Both had a stressful year so want to chill.

That sounds lovely. Can I ask where you went in Budapest?

We love going away at Xmas. We're always stupidly busy with work and other commitments in the run up so for us going somewhere different allows us space to completely relax and have a proper break from everyone and everything else. Our DC love it too. It doesn't really matter where we are; it's usually been a cottage/lodge somewhere with nice walks but we would like to go somewhere warm one year. Unfortunately I have no idea when we'll be able to do this again as we now both have elderly widowed mothers who would be very upset not to see us over Xmas (it wasn't a problem when they had their husbands around). In theory we could take them with us, but that would change the dynamic completely and would be anything but relaxing. I am seriously considering New Year away (not a party town, just a lovely cottage by the sea with loads of walks by the beach, nice food, wine and a log fire).