Anyone else spending Christmas alone?

[Idontknowhatnametochoose]

As the title says. I will be alone on the day, which is fine- I was last year too and ended up watching the first Harry Potter film. It looks likely that i will be alone for every Christmas for the foreseeable as everything is different now my mum has died. I don't mind it as I'm an introvert and enjoy my own company but it's nice to hear from others who will also be alone. I'm not strictly alone as I have my dog and cat.

So...will you be you alone and if so what are your plans fot the day?

I see it as a lack of understanding of the reasons some people might like to be alone, that's all. It doesn't bother me - I totally understand why someone might think that. Most people don't want to be alone after all

I'm not this time, but I did one year when my dc were with their dad and one of my parents was unwell so they asked to postpone our meal. I spent the day listening to the radio, reading and doing a jigsaw that I think is still unfinished on my board under my bed 😂
I expected to be quite miserable to be honest, DC were young and it was the first one I hadn't had half the day with them, but I was actually pretty content!

It's my first Christmas alone this year as my mum died 4th January this year.
I'm autistic and my social anxiety is far too great to attend the local meal that's held for the vulnerable or homeless.
Hoping by then my antidepressant increase will be working so I can get through the day okay.

Where do you live? We have a very small x'mas celebration, you would be more than welcome. We are Oxfordshire. We have often picked update sparecperson or two no trouble at all an D makes the day more interesting.

Not sure if you mean me but if so I reslly appreciate the offer but I'm nowhere near Oxfordshire and I'm content spending the day alone. I'm autistic too and am used to my own company. I'm seeing relatives on Boxing day so I won't be alone the entire season. But thank you for opening your doors to people, that's such a kind gesture.

Sorry about your mum. It will be the third without mine. It's painful, particularly when its the first. I felt awful as my mum had only died the month before. Be gentle with yourself this Christmas.

Sorry to hear that. I hope you’re able to have an enjoyable Christmas. You could plan the day out and fill it with treats and things you like doing. That way you’re always doing something and have things to look forward to.

I think people confuse alone and lonely. Like others have said you can feel your loneliness in the company of people which has been the case with me.

Ive enjoyed reading the plans people have or have suggested. I’d love to have a home spa day with a lovely dinner.

Thank you @getting that's very kind of you. I don't live anywhere near you and actually I think I would feel worse joining somebody else's Christmas.
thanks to other people too. I will plan it out and my support worker is going to cook something for me to heat up.
if I have a structure planned, it will help me not get too overwhelmed by grief. Also I have dogs and they will be good company.
I generally enjoy mynown company. it's just the significance of the day itself bringing back all those i have lost.
I like the idea of a thread here to check in on.

Apologies if I offended you or anyone else, I didn’t intend to. My friend reached out to me, I had offered to host her and her children weeks prior so she knew I’d be happy to have her join us. First Christmas as a single woman, first Christmas since her mum passed and as a mum of two who was the Christmas magic for so many years she was extremely sad at the prospect of being alone. She has expressed her gratitude all year to me. She’s now in a relationship and we were just talking yesterday about how excited she is for this Christmas with her partner but how much she enjoyed the chaos of ours. Christmas can be an extremely triggering day for so many for lots of reasons, I understand that but it’s also an incredibly special time and I’m sorry but it does make me sad that some people don’t get to experience that.

Some people experience the specialness of Christmas alone though. Other people aren't always needed to appreciate the day and what it means to an individual.

I thought I was going to be on my own for Christmas this year, DS has moved in with his girlfriend and I assumed they’d be spending the day together.

Had it all planned out, pack the car up with my camping stove, some bacon and eggs, nice coffee and my aeropress. Drive down to the beach early for breakfast and a walk then head home late morning. A lovely roast dinner mid afternoon followed by a good audiobook, the log fire effect program on Netflix crackling in the background, some nice chocolate and a bottle of fizz.

DS has now decided he wants to spend Christmas with me and I’m unreasonably disappointed.

I hope you have a wonderful day whatever you do OP.

You’re doubling down on patronizing and condescension.

Who are you to judge others’ choices as “sad” or to infer that they aren’t enjoying a special day simply because they are alone?

No judgement here at all. Apologies for any offence. Not doubling down. Just stating the facts of what happened with our last Christmas.

One of my best friends spent last Christmas by herself (her parents were abroad). I did invite her to spend the day with us but she declined. She had a lovely day planned for herself, lots of food and delicious treats, a day spent in her own home enjoying her own company. It sounded like bliss!

Yes, I will be. I have an invitation but I am going to politely decline. I will make a very nice meal - either a roast or a nice bit of steak (TBC) and do whatever the hell I want to.

That could be anything from eat chocolate all day; to get out and tidy up the garden. The point is, is my choice and I will spend it exactly as I please.

It is just another day for me as well, and I have done plenty solo, but I get almost irritated at how aghast people are if it slips out. Then come all the pitying looks and clearly reluctant-but-obliged-to offers, as if it is the worst possible thing ever.

This Christmas will be my fourth alone I think. No parents or siblings left, split up with a partner, and even though I’ve had invites from others, spending time with their families actually just makes me miss mine more.

If the weather is dry I get my OS maps out and do a very long walk and practice my navigation skills. If it’s wet then it’s books and telly and planning my garden for the new year. Either way it’s nice food and chocolate, a soak in the bath, and a couple of glasses of champagne.

Years ago when I told a friend I was spending Christmas alone she was incredibly shocked and pitying, but when I described my plans she admitted it actually sounded lovely and she felt envious! So I think a lot of the time it is people's conditioning that Christmas absolutely must be spent with/ be about family and friends that causes them to react in such horror, but the reality of a Christmas alone can be (albeit not always) a wonderful treat.

I have been alone for Christmas for years :), with my cats as company.

But I am an introvert/neurodivergent and I enjoy peace and quiet anyway.

I usually get myself some really nice food and a cake.

I live by the sea so if the weather is decent I might go for a walk on the seafront on Christmas Day.

I have a tiring year so actually I just look forward to some good rest.

You literally doubled-down, @beansontoast85.

Here:

Christmas can be an extremely triggering day for so many for lots of reasons, I understand that but it’s also an incredibly special time and I’m sorry but it does make me sad that some people don’t get to experience that.

I think, even if you’re happy being alone Christmas Day, if you are normally alone every day then you should mark Christmas in a way that’s meaningful to you.

I’d plan a nice walk with my dog, - a different one to usual if possible and then a really luxurious brunch for myself and dog when we returned.

I’d also treat myself to some gifts - perfume, fancy shower gel and maybe some clothing.

Dinner would be something festive and the day would be spent watching tv shows I love/reading a new book.

The one thing I couldn’t bear would be to spend the day with others who are having their normal Christmas so no church or busing friends.

OP, whatever you do, I hope you have a really enjoyable Christmas Day.

The only thing missing in your perfect day is a dog / dogs .

Lol dogs and cats are my worst nightmare 😂. They are needy and tie me down.

Related question to the original I guess - does anyone who is on their own buy themselves anything for Christmas? I always treat myself to something decent.

@hattie43 I did have a little dog but I lost him a couple of years ago and decided to wait a while before getting another one. However I was persuaded to take on a semi feral barn kitten in September so will have her for company. Although I have a feeling the Christmas tree won’t be staying up for long, she’s into everything!

I have a dog and a cat

EDIT: this was in response to @PauliesWalnuts "Related question to the original I guess - does anyone who is on their own buy themselves anything for Christmas? I always treat myself to something decent."

I buy myself multiple presents throughout the year and wrap them as I get them. By Christmas I have usually forgotten what they are and it's a lot of fun opening them and remembering the time or experience that led to the purchase.

I do exactly the same. Have a nice little basket of treats under the bed and can’t really recall what they are, except vaguely. Books, craft supplies, pampering stuff, jewelry, pretty tea towels, maps for plotting future holidays, that sort of thing usually.