What would your dream Christmas look like?

[LadyGreyandlemoncurd]

After reading lots of AIBU threads where people are frustrated that they can’t do what they want for Christmas because they need to cater to other people, I’m really curious what people’s dream day actually looks like.

Are you holed up in a snowy cabin with just your partner? Are you lying on a beach? A massive family Christmas with everyone you love in your house? A quiet day with just your immediate family?

If you didn’t have to worry about price, other people’s preferences/needs, or practicalities what would you do?

Mine would be:

• Christmas Eve with my DH and kids. It would be snowy and we’d go for a walk in the woods. Then we’d go on a surprisingly unbusy Santa steam train ride. Followed by hot chocolates in our favourite cafe. Arthur Christmas film and a cheese/charcuterie board for dinner in front of the fire (which my toddler magically won’t want to touch). Then out for snowy carols outside the church with mulled wine and mince pies (ideally a reindeer will show up and the kids will perform a cute nativity or sing a Christmas song). Then home to read some Christmas bedtime stories.
• Christmas Day, early stockings. Quiet breakfast whilst the kids play followed by a dog walk. Then my parents and siblings (and their wives and kids) come over for a big Christmas lunch that’s exactly how I’d make it but I didn’t have to cook it. Presents after lunch. Then we all go out for a walk as it starts to get dark so we can see the Christmas lights. Home for mulled wine and watching the Julia Donaldson film as a family. Then everyone else goes home/to bed and me and my DH watch the Christmas Peep Show episode with our Christmas chocolates.
• Boxing Day- Spend the day with my in-laws. This probably falls outside my dream Christmas but I do like them and I love how much my kids love to play with their cousins and how happy it makes DH. If I’m purely selfish then we probably wake up in the Maldives instead without any hassle of traveling with toddlers 😂

Honestly? Like 100% honestly?

On my own with a Chinese and a bottle of champagne watching the Christmas specials on tv. I’m so tired of being the one who does the food and the magic making and the coordination of our families and I’d really just like to sit around doing nothing tbh, and definitely not doing the cooking!

Stayed with DH’s family for 4 nights last year and really did not enjoy any of it so having a reset this year would be my top top option.

Mine would require the hire or loan of someone else's family 🤣

Enough space in the house for people not to be falling over each other (alternatively no-one having accessibility problems).

No-one managing to come down with something or aggravate an existing health condition in the run-up.

No need to try and balance the different sensory needs of at least three people at any one time.

Being able to play a board game fairly casually without anyone desperately wanting to be included but only on the condition that they win.

Being able to sit down for 30 minutes without anyone asking anxiety-driven questions about what needs doing next (but not actually doing it or doing the required thinking).

I do love them but when you take them all out of their usual routine and mix them up together they're as mad as a bag of weasels.

I’m torn. My dh and the dc love Christmas the way we do it already (we host for between 20-24 people, it’s a fun chaos, lots of work, one irksome but nice enough older relative, easy company but just busy) and the Covid Christmas was my favourite because no one could come round although they all found it a bit flat.

I think my selfish dream Christmas would be at home just the 5 of us, up early for stockings by the fire, dressed and then breakfast, then tree presents, then a walk where would meet other people from the family, then back home for fire time and Christmas dinner, games and relaxing.

in reality the kids would find this a bit underwhelming as minus the presents it’s pretty much what a regular Sunday looks like for us 😂

God yes, all of this! But see also:

being able to eat a meal without obsessive discussions of the next meal

Being able to go on a walk without someone berating the children into joining us, but then complaining when the children are too fast/too slow/want to go to the park/stop and climb a tree.

Not having to deal with someone’s horrible dog that keeps trying to bite my dog and pisses in the house but somehow when I suggest keeping them separate I am the bad guy.

again, love them but like to see them separately, in their own homes!

Me, DH and DS having a few days together doing precisely what we want.

No extended family events.

Being left alone, before and after my carefully prepared Christmas dinner.

I’d love it to be back at my parents’ house with them still alive to see my new grandson.

I'd completely ignore it given the chance. That was my plan anyway once the dc were adults and then dd had grandson before my youngest got to 18 and I've been dragged into Christmas for grandson now instead.
I've never been bothered about Christmas but provided what was expected because of having children. I envisaged not having to bother with trees,presents and catering and just enjoying the peace whilst everyone else celebrated elsewhere so I feel robbed tbh.

Basically anything that doesn't actually reference Christmas! Some I have already enjoyed have included sunbathing on a roof in Marrakesh, touring the Doge's Palace in Venice and wallowing in Golden Age Dutch art in Amsterdam 🙂

A lovely snowy cottage think Iris's cottage in the holiday! But bigger so enough room for all the family, roaring fires snowy walks and a good local pub. Family is not a dysfunctional mess and everyone gets on, dm, dmil and dsil are alive and well to see how beautiful my dc are growing up to be! Dh to enjoy Christmas and stop being a Grinch! I'm sorry for those missing loved ones this year its hard i know, best wishes xxx

Sleep.

I had this too, so I feel your pain. My wife loved Christmas, and I hate it, but I'm still going to have to put lights up and the tree as it's what she'd have wanted.

Big hug.

With magical elves bringing us coffee about 20 mins before the kids wake up so we have time to wake up and share our own presents. Then the DC getting themselves out of beds and cots and calmly coming into our bed with their full stockings and happy smiles. Then we're all magically dressed and made up by the elves, and taken downstairs to find pastries and more coffee for us, and the kids can open their presents while the elves get rid of the wrapping paper. Then the elves make the kids breakfasts and put batteries in all the toys and untwist all the stupid ties on all the toys. While they do that DH and I get to chill out on the sofa and the elves babysit, and also get dinner started. We all watch a film and have hot chocolate and too much chocolate and m&s snacks before our delicious dinner. We go for a walk in the snow with Mulled wine for us and hot choc for the big kids. Then home to watch a film in front of the fire while I try on my new jewellery and clothes that Santa has brought me. Then the kids in bed by 6 so we can drink expensive wine and eat delicious chocolate

Having done family full-on Christmases for 30 plus years, tea, toast and Carols from Kings in bed with cats on our feet.
Then more telly and bed for the rest of the day, with a takeaway curry for dinner (in the containers) in bed too 😁 might fit in a hot, foamy bath at some point.
First time, just the two of us this year, in our lovely retirement flat. Will probably do exactly that!
Before full on Christmas with the family couple of days later, for the next week or so.
Best of both worlds.

A few magical days away in Lapland, visiting Father Christmas, Husky and reindeer ride, Northern lights. Splitting time between a glass roof igloo and a quiet cabin the the snowy woods at the bottom of a ski slope.

Fly home with Santa Christmas eve, light the fire to warm the house, put the sleepy kids to bed and watch some Christmas TV. No wrapping to do as it's already complete.

Presents at home Christmas morning, just the four of us, with pastries, waffles and cereal for breakfast. Short drive over to the in-laws late morning, full Christmas dinner, cousins playing etc. Their house is like a Christmas explosion so it feels all warm and fuzzy. Back home late evening, kids to bed and relax on the sofa with a Baileys and more Christmas TV.

Boxing day trip to my parents, and all the absolute chaos that comes with it - all the cousins including the brand new baby for her first Christmas. Total lovable madness, ending with some sort of kitchen disco.

I have a lot of prep to do for this, but this is the ACTUAL plan this year. I can't control the Northern Lights unfortunately 😆

If I could afford it I would rent a nice house somewhere quiet, that comes decorated for Christmas, ideally with a nice big fireplace, a big dining table and a decent kitchen

Then we could have Christmas all together, I moved away (out of necessity, my hometown is out of budget) so haven't spent Christmas day with parents/siblings for 8 years. I have images in my head of my kids and niece waking up together Christmas morning, us adults doing secret santa stocking for each other and a huge Christmas dinner

We're hoping to do it one day, but not this year as we can't afford it

That sounds incredible- I’m so excited for you, I hope it’s as magical as it sounds!

My biggest frustration at Xmas is it's one of the few times of year when me, DH and the DC are all off work/school/uni at the same time for at least a week but we are limited in what we can do with the time because:

• weather where we live is usually unpleasant
• obligation/expectation to spend specific days with DM/MIL who are each set in their ways and can't/won't join in doing something different (or would make it very hard work if they did)
• Cost of travel over Xmas period even if we could get around MIL/DM issue

So my dream Xmas involves me, DH and the DC (whilst they still want to holiday with us) going somewhere warm for the entire Xmas break, secure in the knowledge that DM/MIL are enjoying their traditional Xmas dinners, boxing day teas, New Year buffets etc with other family members. Unfortunately this is very unlikely to happen. If the dream Xmas fantasy can include changes to other people the dream Xmas could include DM and MIL joining us on the holiday but being happy to do their own thing some of the time and not moaning about the food not being what they have at home.