Family presents who to buy for?

[Workinschoolmum]

Two out of three of my sisters aren’t speaking to me or anyone in the family at the minute one has gone as to far as block everyone but speaks to my parents daily
I really don’t want to get gifts for them this year as the last two years gifts have just been passed between parents anyway they’ve not been at family Christmas’s etc just left under a tree. My mum fees I should purchase gifts as my sister always buys my children gifts I do openly say I’d rather her see them and not buy anything she’s not been to any birthdays etc not seen them in over a year
I’m just not materialistic at all and I’d appreciate a visit on there birthdays instead but she’s never shown
our family is obviously continually growing and I work two jobs as it is to make ends meet and last year I voiced I’d rather just get gifts for the kids as we all end up buying for sisters/partners etc and it’s all a lot of money I don’t have I’m trying to be money smarter but I feel like it’s gonna cause a big issue when it comes to Christmas and I’ve stuck to my guns and not bought gifts only for the kids
and the issue is the sister who never shows up doesn’t have kids so my mum says I should buy for her but honestly why when she’s blocked me out of her life. My mum said because she buys for my kids and expensive gifts to like it matters - she has a much higher well paid job then me and I never want gifts- my son received something he already had two of so wasn’t needed anyway but she wouldnt know cos she doesn’t know them

Don’t do gifts, and I’d say to tell your sisters not to bother with them either except some aren’t speaking to you! Perhaps tell the one you do speak to and your parents that you’re not doing presents and don’t expect them back and they can pass the message on.

I think your mum doesn’t want all of you to be falling out, but gifts aren’t going to resolve anything.

Write her a letter. Express how you feel and what you’re willing to do to help repair the relationship and what you’d like in return.

I’ve tried reaching out she’s not interested it’s all mine and my other sisters fault etc she’s got this anxiety over thinking in her head stuff has happened that hasn’t and I can’t talk to her or get through
so it’s not so much the relationship I’ve done what I can do right now with that as I think she needs to take some accountability for how she’s hurt me but cutting me out
its more how am I meant to still get her and her husband gifts when she’s cut me out

The benefit of being an adult is you don't actually have to do what your mum says. Stop discussing it with your mum and do what you want to do. If it comes up again or she asks you at Christmas why you haven't got certain people presents say you aren't willing to discuss it further and it's your choice.

I wouldn’t be buying gifts for people you don’t see especially when funds are limited . I’d leave a nice card under the tree wishing her a happy Christmas and you’d rather have her company than exchange gifts . The ball is in her court then