Make Christmas different?

[Almost2026]

Looking for suggestions of how we can switch Christmas up a bit?

We’ve done the same thing at Christmas for pretty much all the 20+ years we’ve been together.

Kids are now both older teens. We actually looked at going away for Christmas this year but DS who now works full time wouldn’t be able to get the time off work and obviously can’t leave him home alone at Christmas.

My parents have always come to us. My mum preps all the dinner at home and just does the final part of cooking at our house (we have the bigger house for hosting). She likes to cook and likes to play her part. Dad’s mobility is very limited now and can no longer get upstairs to our living room so has to sit in the kitchen the whole time.

DH wants to do something totally different like go for a curry, Dad says definitely not! I feel awful abandoning mum after all this time if we are still at home / in the area.

Going out for Christmas dinner is soooo expensive (totally understandably for the staff working). DH is reluctant to pay that much for a meal he doesn’t overly enjoy.

I just dont know how to keep everyone happy!

Aside from dinner, any new traditions we can make now the kids are older, present piles are smaller, they don’t really need anything.

Can you change up the other days of Christmas and keep Christmas Day the same? It seems a shame for your parents otherwise, are there any siblings that could host them?. Can your DS get time of after Christmas? We have sometimes gone away for a few days between Christmas and NY or just after NY.

Good idea! We’re waiting for his Christmas rota to see if we can squeeze anything in and tbf if it’s not actual Christmas Day, he would be fine for us to go away without him.

That sounds really tough- you want change, but at the same time, your dad is limited to one room, which limits everyone else.

Does your mum still want to do all the cooking? Could you change something there, eg change the menu a bit, do some of the cooking together /at yours / everyone choose a dish and make it?

Could you change the order of the day or the activities? Would your parents be OK with everyone else going out for a walk on Xmas day or similar?

We do Xmas dinner on Xmas Eve, and have everyone over. I love spending Xmas Eve in the kitchen, cooking/drinking/hiding from everyone.

Christa’s day we do nothing… pjs, champagne, nice snacks, presents, maybe a walk/

it really works for us but understand it’s not for everyone but for us with older teens older parents etc it’s ideal: and means I get to enjoy Xmas day without cooking for 25+ people

Could you hire a holiday cottage/air b&b locally that would facilitate cooking dinner/eating and socialising in one nice space - with your dad not being able yo get upstairs to your living room and you son not being able to travel. Take board games.

I get the frustration BTW, we have been stuck with the same Christmas routine for about 15 years including hosting my parents on Christmas Day because of the preferences of everyone in the extended family and it has got a bit frustrating even though it's always been a nice day. However last year my mum suffered a broken hip just before Christmas so it was all turned on its head, this year by Christmas I think Dad will be in a nursing home and not sure where yet. Right now I'd like nothing more than to be able to host them for Christmas like we used to do, which colours my opinion a little. But I definitely sympathise with your DH for wanting a change because I felt the same way before. With your DF is it likely to get to the point soon where he can't come to you at all? Maybe then would be the time for bigger changes.

A Christmas picnic (weather permitting)! Drive out to a scenic spot, get out your picnic table, chairs (your Dad can sit in the car if that would be tricky for him) and some blankets to wrap yourselves in. Your DM can help by cooking as much picnic food as she wishes (we did turkey and stuffing sausages rolls, pigs in blankets, Brie and cranberry bites…). We came home as it was getting dark and watched films and played games for the evening.

maybe keep the core parts the same (like the dinner) to avoid anyone getting upset about missing/changing those... but then find other more empty parts of the 3 days (eve, day, boxing) where you can put something new that won't replace something someone else might care about.

This is what we have done. Also accommodating an older and now full time
working child.

We go to our favourite steak restaurants for food and drinks on Christmas Eve (new for last year, loved it so it’s a new tradition for us!).

Boxing Day we host friends for a second Christmas (we love hosting so this is something we really enjoy).

Weekend between Christmas and NY, night away (London this year and both Edinburgh and London last).

Have the xmas meal out when its cheaper i.e xmas eve or day before, tel family you are volunteering in the kitchens for salvation army etc on the actual day x