Just The Three Of Us on Christmas Day... How to Make

[Goditsmemargaret]

I'm dreading Christmas Day.

For various reasons I've insisted on going NC with my extended family. It will be just me, DH and DD7. She still a firm believer in Father Christmas so I don't want to suggest having it abroad yet.

She is going to be devastated we aren't seeing her granny and cousins.

I am feeling so bleak about it all and can't think of a single thing that will make it fun.

Please somebody help me out. We live on a very friendly street opposite a green. I have in the past organised summer street parties or Easter egg hunts but I feel everyone just likes to be with their families on Christmas Day.

We also live near the beach and sometimes I get in for a Christmas swim but it's not much fun for DC watching.

If it is the 3 of you and she still believes in Father Christmas I wouldn’t be too worried about trying to make it more than a 'traditional ' Christmas day. Late up xmas eve. Big breakfast/ chocolate for breakfast etc - let her watch whatever she wants, make sure at least one of her presents is something you can all do - even if it is tedious for you - seven year olds will still have that magical ' its Christmas ' feeling and so it being that in itself will carry a lot of the stress you worry about. For you and DH I'm sure you will both enjoy the feel of not having to worry about others for a change - lunch when you want and indeed what you want. Takeaway Christmas eve always went down well with my children when they were younger- something they both carried over into adulthood. A small tradition now but it made them feel special (they chose what and stayed up later than normal) and it saved my having to worry about cooking/washing up/ shopping. (Normally worked xmas day- often cooking in a hospital for patients so enjoyed the not cooking Christmas eve night).
It will be different but fabulous . Embrace it for what you can take from it.

I had a few christmases just me and my three kids and loved it! We had a nice breakfast after opening presents, all had baths and out clean pyjamas on, played with their toys, set up games etc. then ate what and when we felt like it. Lovely times. Loud Christmas music while we opened presents and I cooked.

Just to add that if you are no contact for whatever reason you have chosen by Christmas it will be slightly more normal that you are used to just the three of you - and also well done on being strong enough to do this.
Just a thought- any friends of d.d who you get on with parent(s) with to invite over during Christmas period? They can only say no but they may jump at the chance of having some one else and something else to mix up their time too.

Agree with @Robertplantgoddess
When DD was very little we moved 200 miles away from family and when she was about 4 we decided to go it alone but announced open house to neighbours/friends to drop in for drinks/snacks on Christmas day.
DD chose chicken, chips and salad for our lunch which we had, just us three.
By the time it came around to cooking our dinner after she had gone to bed, we were plastered after entertaining all day!

Do you know what; this is a good shout. I would feel vulnerable suggesting open house on Christmas (silly but I'd wonder if they'd think we were weird) but I might organically suggest to neighbours I'm friendly with that we have decided to stay home if they'd like to pop in for a drink anytime after 5pm.

Unless we get a massive cold spell, why don’t you buy her a cheap wetsuit and let her get in with you. Explain that winter swimming is a very different hobby to summer swimming and you don’t stay in for long, both wear Santa hats (are you goggles off at this time of year?) and take a lovely hot chocolate in a flask to the beach, last year the water temperatures didn’t drop to sub 10 until January then they plummeted. And can I come too, I’m not really looking forward to Christmas this year for various reasons.

Yes you can come :)

Sorry you're not looking forward to it either. Do you want to share why? I'm a little cheered already with this thread.

No one would think you're weird - would you think it if a friend/neighbour said to you - because of life stuff bit of a different Christmas this year so we will be around - feel free to pop in if you like?
You may not want to go but surely you wouldn't think it weird? It's embracing the Christmas Carol spirit- (the nice end bit not the start of the book obviously).

How lovely

We do every Christmas by choice with just me, DH and DS. It is bliss. We all love it.

If you go to the beach for a swim could you have a quick dip and then a beach party for three? A flask of hot chocolate, nip of gin for the adults, a new kite from Father Christmas, some sparklers. Our beach is fairly busy with people, dogs, kids galore on Christmas day. Take a big tub of Quality Street and share them with strangers.

Then home for a warm bath, gorgeous food, pjs, all piled up on the sofa for the best Christmas film, silly games with old Christmas party music in the background, a little party buffet with the fairy lights on.

Happy days to you and your little family OP.

It’s always just been the three of us for Christmas, it’s fine. We are mostly led by DS as he’s the one who wants the whole Santa thing and obviously gets the most presents but just enjoy it. Open presents, eat food, go for a walk, play games, chill out.
You don’t have to be rushing about pleasing other people and eating what they think you should eat, just do whatever you want as a family and have fun.

Christmas traditions are lovely. My SIL always took her three boys to the cinema ( only way to get any peace and quiet). The ‘boys’ now do it with their kiddies.

We always had a huge Christmas with my husband’s family ( I was not in contact with my parents) . My son is an only child and occasionally it felt a bit hyper. One Christmas Eve my husband went down with a stomach bug so we thought it wouldn’t be right to pass it on. By Christmas morning though he was ok so the 3 of us spent the day just us. My son was about 13. It was a fabulous Christmas. He said it was the best one ever, so we did that from then on. We would catch up with family on Christmas Eve and join a family Boxing Day buffet . It was relaxed, fun and we just chilled out the whole day.

@Ahwig You found your perfect Christmas by accident.
I remember a similar occasion when I was a child. It was just the 4 of us instead of about 30 people.

Stockings, pressies, roast dinner, fire lit and then we all, including the cat full of turkey, sat on the sofa to watch Chitty Chitty Bang Bang whilst ploughing through the chocolate. It was the loveliest, cosiest Christmas and the first time my little brother (who's 58 now) sat through a whole film. A wonderful memory.

Most Christmases, it’s been just the four of us on Christmas Day. There’s been the odd Christmas where we’ve been away or had family or a friend round but we have always liked to focus on the children. Even now they are grown up (20 and 19) they prefer it that way.
I still do Christmas dinner but you don’t have to if you don’t want. We usually have baked goods first thing, and maybe bacon butties mid morning as things start to be cooked. I’ve got it down to a fine art now and have most things prepped in advance so most of the cooking is me putting things onto cook or taking them out. We eat mid afternoon. DH liked to spread things out so they may get stockings first thing then open presents after they’d eaten something, and maybe later they’d get a clue or something to find another present. DH would write them letters and clues and stuff, he’s so much better at it than me! We would keep presents from extended family until after Christmas dinner.

Maybe arrange a few things in the run up so you are busy then to appreciate the peace on Christmas Day. It can be quite stressful to be with other people who do things differently to you, who won’t join in, or just be argumentative. Not having to deal with all that is the best Christmas present of all.

O.p. I hope this is making you feel it will be ok! Ultimately strip everything back and just the three of you having time is all that matters anyway. That's what will be remembered, not the gifts but the comfortable feeling your daughter will spend her adulthood looking back on and trying to recreate. If you asked her to explain what it was she wouldn't be able to but its the feeling of love and being loved.

DD's favourite Christmas was the 'favourite things' buffet I did for the 3 of us. She's remembered it for years and at 14 has demanded the same this year. Do the things that make you happy and don't overthink it. If you're having fun and are present in the moment it'll be special

This Xmas it will be just me, my 13 year old DD and my ex her dad (we are still good friends). And we seriously can't wait! We will have loads of gifts to open, including books, games and craft stuff to keep us occupied. I am thinking maybe a trip to the local pub if it's open (it's a bit rough, but friendly enough). And a walk in the park with their dog. Then I have tasked DD and DExH (is that a term?). to create a complex meal (i will source the ingredients - they love cooking).

Honestly, I do think it can be lovely just keeping it simple. I understand it will be hard because of your recent breach with your family - but it's a time for focus on the love you have maybe, rather than the love you have sadly lost? (If that makes sense?)

All the best op! X

One of the best Christmas’s we had 3 extras, 2 siblings (my dd knew the young lady, plus her brother) whose mum had died and another youngster who we vaguely knew whose family cut her off for having a boyfriend, listen out for people who maybe don’t want to be alone but circumstances mean they are over the next couple of months. You could be helping them and have an amazing time

Bloody hell. My kids are grown up and im divorcing I’d kill to be in your shoes.

Or was just me and my parents when I was a kid. Family was either abroad or too far away to visit. We always had a lovely time. Food. TV. And prople popped in at different times on different days for Christmas drinks. We were very good frowns with the neighbours though who had a little boy same age as me..It is possible to get itger people involved. We very rarely saw family at that time of year.

This reminds me a bit of COVID when we suddenly had to switch to an at home just us Christmas and it felt a bit bleak, but we did end up having a decent time. Cold water swim did feature and was an excuse for a festive walk. I also did a Christmas eve treasure hunt in the dark to find her stocking and Santa's cup etc plus some bits for hot chocolate and marshmallows. We had a socially distanced advent trail with neighbours. And we went shopping for new decorative bits and bobs for the table. Good Christmas telly, board games. It was pretty chilled as far as Christmas goes but festive enough. Have definitely had worse Christmases. Good luck op

And what about starting a traditional of a pantomime ?? She'll doon forget coudins if there's a pantomime..

Lots of people don’t have the big family Christmases portrayed in the media.

First thing, she gets into bed with you to open her stocking. Maybe, help her to put little stockings together for you and your H too.

Then breakfast, then main present opening, then snacks.

Then one of you cooks the lunch while the other plays with her/attempts to get the over-complicated toy to work.

Then really nice lunch because you can afford so much better stuff when there’s less of you to cater for.

Then film (snooze), then game, then tea, then TV, then bed for her and a lovely drink and rest for you. Bliss.