Christmas with only immediate family

[Teddlesisagoodboy]

I know this might sound strange but what do you DO on Christmas day? When I was growing up we would have lots of family and cousins come to stay over Christmas so it was great fun. Now I have a family of my own we are a bit short on family. I've asked people several times to ours and sometimes they do come but usually want to do their own thing or seeing other sides of their family. I can't help feel sad for my kids. They have one cousin who is a lot older and has no interest in them. One set of aunties and uncle never see them, forget their birthdays and don't even send card. Other auntie and uncle see them maybe four times a year at a push. One grandad who's wife hates Christmas and they go away.

Obviously we do presents in the morning. What do you do in the evening? We can't really do board games as my son is autistic and gets really stressed if he can't win or doesn't understand the rules. Charades I think would stress him out because he wouldn't understand what is going on. My daughter is 9, she misses out on so much because of her brother. We could try and watch a film? Any suggestions or suggestions of anything else I can do to make it special for both of them?

We always had Christmas with only my parents and siblings. I can’t recall any where we had other relatives around (at Christmas or any other time - pretty rare). We just opened presents in the morning and my mum made a nice lunch with a turkey. That is it, from what I can remember it was a fairly normal type of day. As for games we had a computer early on so took turns playing games on that too. When we were teens we just retired to our rooms and had naps! I don’t think we even watched family Xmas movies together.

I understand the feeling completely. I loved my big family Christmases as a kid.

Now though I can only give my child that some years, and on those where we are by ourselves, it does feel like something is missing, or I'm not giving him what I had.

But then again, I look back on my Childhood, and I don't think I "Loved" that there were loads of people there. I loved Christmas - the fact that there were a lot of people didn't really make it better or worse overall.

Now that I have done both with my son, I can certainly see that each has its charm. This year will be a "lot of people" year, and it will be manic and exciting and busy... but I guarantee you that I'll spend most of the festival wishing I could have just a bit more time to actually play and do things with my son, I already know that he is just going to want to build his Lego (Lego crazy this year) with me, and play imaginary stories and battles with it.. and that is going to be hard to do in rooms filled with people/TV/actives..

Equally though, other quieter years, like next year.. I'll have tons of time with my son, but I'll sit there missing the busy noisy atmosphere of a house full of people, and how sometimes it just feels too similar to any old normal night, without other people there.

The grass is always greener - Just make the most of it, and I'm sure your children will have a lovely Christmas.

You need to enjoy your Christmas as is and not live in the past.

build Lego sets we got, watch movies, play cooperative board games, and have a nice meal.

robot turtles is a favorite game in our home. There is no winning. It’s all about charting a path for your turtle across an obstacle laden board.

Just immediate family here - all young adults now but when they were little.

Morning - stockings opened and played with whilst we had Bucks fizz and cooked breakfast. Then family present opening and present playing with - lego, a huge favourite, or a new console game, or a new book. Turkey in oven straight after breakfast, prep for late lunch with all the trimmings. Often swimming afterwards and then a snooze/movie in the ac. Roast turkey sandwiches and eggnog for dinner.

For us it is a very calm, easy day. We recently spent a one off Xmas with extended family and I found it fun, but stressful. Much prefer the cosy calmness of just our family.

We like the calmness of the day too. We usually do presents, breakfast, mass, dinner then okay with whatever the kids get. Love a huge jigsaw on the go.

@Qwerty21 the likes of Pandemic (and I think there's one called Treasure Island) would work from about 8 upwards I think. The only definite one aimed at younger children that I can remember is called 3 little pigs which is about working together to banish the wolf!

I would add in an ‘active’ game if you can. We find that this is best when everyone’s a bit tired but you need a lift and some fun and we actually do it with big or small groups for gatherings. Recent ones have been connect 4 ‘dunk 4’ which can be played in any kitchen doesn’t need much room and is quite cheap, chicken and hotdog game (we have played this with multiple ages and SEN needs), twerk pong, sticky tic tac toe. We have even bought everyone a different wind up figure that get given out at the meal and they get raced later on for a prize. It just really works as everyone hasn’t the energy or mind space for a board game but it’s good fun and a good focus for part of the day after food but before you want to all just crash xx

Also with you daughter being 9 you could have a pamper evening with the film at night. Your son and husband could join in if they wanted to but it’s also not a problem if they don’t. Thinking face packs, nails, orbeez foot bath etc

Presents with Christmassy music, Santa hats and cups of tea

Special breakfast - croissants, Nutella etc

Showers - get dressed up in nice clothes

Family walk. It’s good to get a breath of fresh air and it’s nice to see kids on new bikes and everyone says ‘happy Christmas’

Home - me cooking, everyone else chilling/ playing with presents

3:00pm king’s speech

Lunch (no starter needed) roast turkey etc. Christmas pudding and ice cream. A little ready-made steamed chocolate pudding for the person who does not like Christmas pudding,

Collapse and watch a film together

Later - cheeses and biscuits

Bath and bed

I think this about sums up a typical day for a lot of people regardless of how many are involved in the day.

I had no extended family beyond grandparents, who are long since gone as are my parents. Due to distance and infirmity, we have had a lot of Christmases with just three of us. It’s a case of making it work. On occasion we would invite neighbours round in the morning for a drink and mince pie which gave some interlude. But other than that we did much as @PrimeTimeNow set out. As far as our now very much adult DC was concerned, Christmases were magical.

Op I've always enjoyed smaller Xmas.
Unless your with the cast of a Richard curtis film then it's not always as fun as it seems
We spread presents out during the day.so obviously in morning etc but at dinner I do a gift between some courses and a few after dinner

Woild youe son do any funny cracker stuff like secret mission get the word elf into as many interactions that you can etc.

Or wink

There are some co operative games where you are all on the same team pandemic etc.

Otherwise can he do something he likes whilst you all play ?
There are also silly games like strapping tissue box to your waist and team member fry and Throw ping pong balls in

Not the actual Christmas Day, but I've found my ND children love the cinema but find the panto very overwhelming.

A few of the cinemas near us do old Christmas films (Polar Express & Muppet's Christmas Carol were favourites last year!) It's been a lovely way to have a Christmassy day out without the overwhelm.

Might be good for both your kids?

I love "just us" Christmases, they are so special to me and the only reason I don't do them every single year is because my mum lost my dad in 2020 so I have spent most of them since with her. Have made specific plans with my sister this year so that DM is accommodated and are going to have our first Just Us one in 3 years!

I think they key thing is not to put too much pressure on. Yes it's a special day, but it's the best special day in the word (IMO ofc) because it's both special and cosy. Don't feel like you need to make a big song and dance of it. Most of the magic lies in the anticipation and the rituals of tradition.

I feel like my Christmas days are pretty typical, though tbh as the cooker of dinner I've often regretted how much time I've spent in the kitchen and am so excited to scrap that this year. We open presents in the morning which is awesome, have some treats for breakfast and the kids play with their toys and I'm usually just in and out until the early evening.

One of my favourite ones was Christmas 2021; the kids woke up nice and early, they played Duplo outside the kitchen loads while I cooked, we tried to sit down to dinner and watch Encanto but the kids were bouncing off the walls, then we played Frozen charades and they were passed out by 5:50! Me and DP snuggled down to watch a Christmas special while enjoying our dinner in peace. Can't get better if you ask me :)

I'm definitely making plans a bit more for this year to balance the personalities and ages of the kids. I second trying co-operative games, and because one of mine has ADHD, I've had an idea to spread out the gifting a bit with games and prizes, instead of just having it all over with by 6am. We are also way more relaxed on Xmas so the kids have permission to make a bit of a mess, get their new stuff out and do messy play, and we also do the special Christmas bath with a bath bomb from lush. Just writing it has me feeling all excited!

Ah, this is mine and my daughter's dream! And this year we will achieve it I think, with just her dad (he and I are divorced but food friends) joining us for the morning till after lunch.

We will open presents in a leisurely way, drink bucks fizz/zero substitutes thereof, probably go for a nice walk in the park, possibly even a quick drink in the pub, then back to the flat to play with/read/generally enjoy our presents, and cook together. Then take our time over a really nice lunch (I am thinking lobster as long as he agrees to cook it!)

After her dad leaves I imagine we will play a desultory game of something, do some of our craft activities (some of our gifts will relate to these), then find some great stuff on TV to binge watch in the evening, with some pampering (have bought a couple of face packs).

My DD has wanted this small family Xmas all her life, and I feel strongly that this year we will finally get away with it without offending other lives ones too much!

We are lucky to have other family we love, I know. But honestly, Xmas just the two/three of us seems totally magical to me. There will be time in the run up and days after to celebrate various "fake Xmas"s (same stuff, different day) with our family and dead friends.

We do pass the parcel with the kids and hide coins around the house. We also do Secret Santa £5 limit and you have to figure out who bought present! We also do video and paper based quizzes too like these ones - I'm trying to create my own unique ones but need to learn a few new skills and need some originla ideas.

You could also just put your feet up at 6pm, put a film on and chill or get the kids to put some form of Christmas play on for the family but using only items that they can find in the house :-)

If you want tsome peace and quite then get the children to play the quiet game. First person to speak loses. The winner get some chocs.

At the end of the evening play the "who can collect the most rubbish" off the floor with the kids. One way to get the house tidy hehehehehe

We have almost always had Christmas of us. We are immigrants (and I’m Jewish) so no extended family. We have spent a couple with my in-laws and they are not our favourite so we are always happy to be on our own. Kids a bit older now at 12/9 but it’s been roughly the same for years. Slow start, stockings, some sort of special breakfast, presents, clear up, building/creating/playing with something (we make sure we have something to do for both kids and ourselves - Lego set or art project etc). Then my husband and son like to stay home but my daughter and I go for a walk if the weather cooperates. We like going to the beach and bringing a hot chocolate. Then back for cooking, dinner and a festive movie.

my daughter is autistic and not a huge game fan but we have found a few she can manage. Have you tried forbidden island? It’s cooperative. And she liked overcooked on the switch for a while - also cooperative. Or something simple like sushi go or other card games. If you go to a decent independent game store they’ll help you find something to try if that’s interesting to you. Or play as a team - my daughter and I teamed up for risk for years.

Just a regular day for us with more food. No games, no charades and no extended family.

When it’s just us we tend to:

6am Presents
7.30 Breakfast
kids play with their toys
11.00 scruffy clothes on and a walk in the woods with a few snacks
12.00 everyone home, baths/ showers, nice clothes on
2 lunch
4 games
6 buffet food and a film
8 one adult tidies, the other one baths and beds the kids

Our kids are little so they go to bed after that but me and my husband then drink cocktails and play cards etc. We are usually in bed for 11.

Our Christmas Days are usually just the four of us. Occasionally we have neighbours or some family members pop over in the evening for a drink but often it's just DH, DDs and I.

I agree it can be quieter but I think you just need to lean into it being a lovely, cosy day. We will get up and open stockings, have breakfast and then more present opening. DDs will play with their new things, I'll be popping in and out of the kitchen, DH will be tidying up and acting as sous chef.

We tend to have lunch around 1pm so that we can then go on a walk before it gets dark. It's good to get out for some fresh air and if you see other people it's nice to wish them Happy Christmas. If DDs are getting bored we'll play a game of how many Christmas trees we can spot or how many wreaths on doors etc. It doesn't have to be a long walk but it does break the day up a bit.

Then home to chill. I usually have bath stuff for Christmas so will take myself off for a bubble bath, similarly for DDs I usually get bath bombs or something like that. Then all into pyjamas and by that time it's usually around 4pm so we spend the rest of the afternoon watching TV or playing games or reading. We let DDs stay up as late as they want so it's the one night a year that we end up all falling asleep together under blankets on the sofa.

We all love our small Christmases except Dh who is used to a big one.

It's so relaxed. We do what we want, when we want and if we want to play a game we do, and if we want to go and lie on our bed and read, we do, if we want to go out we do.

We always when home do stockings all together in the living room, then after lunch we open presents from each other, and leave the others until the next day.
But other than that we do what we want to do and that depends on the year.

Well obviously you have special circumstances. We open presents, have a nice breakfast, then chill a bit (we have our Christmas meal about 4pm), then it’s cooking and getting the table ready. Afterwards we play a game (poker, Scrabble whatever) then go watch a movie. You might go for a walk at some point during the day if that helps.

We spend it just us. Have done since Covid. We have an early start with Preston opening, a nice family breakfast, late lunch and a walk later in the day to look at lights. On an evening, we normally watch a Xmas film together. I really enjoy the quieter days as we live too far from family to spring hours of the day in the car.

I'm in New Zealand. We have a lunch, usually traditional lunch with turkey ham etc, but this year we are doing barbecue. We live a couple of streets away from the beach so sometimes its a swim if its hot. The main players are husband, 4 sons and their other halves. Different extendeds may join, or come over later, depending on whose in town.
We used to go and visit my parents about 100 km away on Boxing Day but my dad died this year and he was my last parent. That's the tradition I will probably miss this year.

We used to have huge Xmas days when I was a kid. I think one year we had 23 for Christmas dinner and I bloody loved it. Grandparents, cousins, random friends/colleagues who didn't have family, whoever. It's really sad to me that my DC don't have that but my family are all over the world and dhs family just aren't very close. My mum comes but it's usually just me, DH, DC (7,3) and my mum. We tend to eat late, so presents and a big breakfast in the morning, then go out for a nice Christmassy walk before eating at about 4. Then I'll always have a Christmassy craft for then kids to do after dinner but mostly they just play with their toys. We might try a board game this year. Honestly my desire for big family Christmases is one of the reasons I want a third kid!