Me and DH have young DC. We don’t have much local family, and the rest of our families live around 2 hours away in different directions. My DM is the closest nearby and she sometimes spends Xmas with us but she was with us last year so I think she will go to DSiS this year although they are always very last minute with their Christmas plans which means everyone else doesn’t know what’s going on. DSiS has a massive house but has never invited us for xmas despite living around 45 mins away, we used to be quite close but don’t see much of them now, they seem to prioritise seeing BILs side of the family at Xmas. They have my DSIS in laws every year so would never come to ours, they like spending Xmas at home.
MIL is awkward and won’t travel to visit or stay with us over xmas, we have invited them in previous years but she won’t drive or take public transport so DH would have to do a 4 hour round trip each way to get her and then her back. So usually we visit them for a couple of days either before or after Xmas and she spends the day with DHs siblings.
So usually we end up spending Xmas just the 5 of us and will probably be the case again this year. I just feel a bit sad. It never feels worthwhile to bother cooking a full Xmas lunch, the kids do eat it but without other family there it’s just like any other meal really and they won’t sit still etc. We struggle to fill the day to be honest. The kids are still hard work, they’re young and one has SEN, the baby will still need a nap. It doesn’t help that most people where will live have grown up here and spend the entire Xmas period doing family stuff with parents, cousins, aunts and uncles etc so there’s never any invites or uptake for play dates or outings with friends. The few friends we have locally who aren’t from here originally (like us) tend to go away to stay with family for the whole time, our best friends are away 23rd Dec-2nd Jan. Also I find now that almost every Xmas event is before Xmas, there is very little going on between Xmas and new years so I have a very long holiday to fill with the kids and not sure what to do.
Doesn’t help that it’s one of my DCs birthdays literally just before Xmas so I also have the dilemma of that, not sure what to do about a party because everyone will be busy with Xmas stuff, apart from us it seems. Anyone in a similar situation or have any tips about how to feel less sad about it? We just don’t do any family events or days out with anyone else yet everyone around us seems to be going to endless parties and gatherings and events etc. Is anyone in a similar position? How do you cheer yourself up about it, do you have any tips? I know some people might think it sounds blissful but at Christmas it just really feels quite lonely. I’d love to have big family gatherings or outings.