Stepparent and Xmas gifts

[kachoww]

Ive been a stepparent for the past 4 years and genuinely take on the role of finding gifts for sd11 & sd9 dh sorts out ss16, been quite easy past couple of years to find gifts but this year it seems they’ve grown out of the toy idea so stuck on what to get.

Growing up I was lucky and my dad saw Xmas presents as more of an investment while my mum bought the more normal gifts, gifts from dad really started when I was 12 he bought me my first set of real diamond earrings told me that if I looked after those he would every year buy me better gifts. Really taught me how to look after & respect things and now I’ve got quite a bit of expensive jewellery, he later admitted that he done it so if ever when I was older if I fell on hard times I always had something to sell to fall back on.

I want to start doing this with sd’s but I don’t know if I’m overstepping the step parent role ? I think this year would be best to start as they’re growing out of the toy stuff. Mentioned it to dh and he seems up for the idea but isn’t sure on younger sd. I’ve said that I would buy them the earrings so it takes the pressure off him (they’d never have to know they was from me) and he could buy the more normal gifts.

Point of this post I guess is

1. are they to young yet
2. do you think I’m overstepping
3. am I stupid thinking just because this tradition worked with me would it work with them?

also any ideas of what else to get them would be brilliant 🤣

As an investment, jewellery really isn’t such a great deal. Just for example, Try finding how how much you would get for your diamond earrings

if you really want to helo them develop good habits, get them to open a savings account and agree to double anything they save (remind them it only works if they haven’t spent anything you have already doubled.

food luck, nice idea but so many ways it could go wrong.

I think Diamond earrings for girls just growing out of toys is way over the top. What is your relationship like with their mother? I don't think I would like it.

Perhaps, some silver earrings and maybe open up a savings account if you want investments.

I just can’t imagine 11 and 9 (especially 9) year olds appreciating diamond earrings. A savings account is a much better idea.

Diamond earrings for a nine-year-old or even an eleven-year-old? Sorry, makes me cringe. They are children and shouldn’t be interested in or have to worry about things like that for quite a while yet, if ever. Would you even have considered something like that for an 11-year-old boy? (What?)

I really don’t see how a gift of expensive jewellery gets children into good savings habits anyway. Surely you could just start a savings account for them, that they can’t touch until they’re 18, or something like that. But I bet they’d rather have a gift (tech/art equipment/special clothes/ bike).

I think you are putting too much pressure on DCs whether step or biologically yours to look after expensive, small items which then sets them up for failure and anger from you if/when said items are lost.

You're overthinking it. Give her some money or a gift card and some Primark bits to unwrap and she’ll be as happy as Larry.

Personally, I would separate out gits + things from savings + investments.

I had this discussion in my family, because as part of one of our non-UK festivals, expensive gifts as an 'investment' are given, but personally I didn't feel very good about it because, if it is an investment, then I'm expecting my children to sell the things that I gave them, that they have loved for years? That doesn't seem very fair on them. That the only way they can get their money is to sell what they care about.

And like you, I didn't think it was wise to give such valuable things to young kids.

So we just separated them - and I have a specific type of financial account that money goes into (linked with the festival), I print out a lovely certificate showing him what has gone into it, and put it in a nice card, and then my children gets some more age-appropriate gift alongside it.

I think it’s a lovely idea, but quite likely to backfire because it’s emanated from you rather than their DP - I am not saying that to be mean, but it sounds like a large part of why it was special to you is the thought your DF put behind it.

Honestly I think you would be better taking a step back from the present buying process rather than forward. Put the money into a savings account for uni or house purchase instead.

Should of clarified that bio mum has 0 interest in them sees them once a month if she can be bothered, they have savers and all the rest but I just thought it would be a nice idea maybe when there older tho :)

How about a charm bracelet? It's something they are able to wear now so they may appreciate it more than diamond earrings and you can add to it - perhaps with more valuable charms- as they get older

How about a charm bracelet? It's something they are able to wear now so they may appreciate it more than diamond earrings and you can add to it - perhaps with more valuable charms- as they get older

Girls that age want Pandora charm bracelets, which is no investment at all!!!
mine still liked toys then
if you do go investment route I would start an isa and not buy overpriced and vat added jewellery