Christmas dinner that’s not Christmas dinner

[MorrisonsBitch]

So for the last 7 Christmas's, I have hosted for 10 of us (my DM, in laws + us 5) but this year I’m really not feeling it.
I have 3 young children and honestly I’m so sick of being stuck in my tiny kitchen and the stress!
so I have said that I’m happy for them all to still come to me and I will host but it won’t be a 4 course meal so im thinking some sort of buffet? Like a deconstructed Christmas dinner but they help themselves. So far I have

turkey crown sliced
beef joint sliced
mini roast potatoes
mini Yorkshire puddings
pigs in blankets
stuffing balls
sliced buttered cobs
prawn ring with lettuce & sauce on side
a seafood platter
Sliced sprouts with chestnuts/ bacon
a couple of salads (green, potato and a grain one)
some sort of eton mess/pavlova concoction
profiteroles
a chocolate dessert
mince pies
cheese board with usual crackers and fruit

so my normally traditional mum is loving this idea but my in laws not so much!
does anyone have any suggestions that I can make in advance but is really Christmassy to help persuade them? I’m happy to swap things around

I’m another voting not the Buffett type meal

cut it down to 2 courses, we only ever have 2 with everything else it’s enough

turkey - easy it’s a big chicken
stuffing
roasts
vegs
yorkshire puddings

followed by Christmas pudding and cream or ice cream

so much can be done in advance and frozen. I always insist I have help clearing up, and as the last bits are done I lay out cold Turkey and ham (from Christmas Eve) crusty rolls and salad. Cover with cling film and leave out any other odds and sods. That buffet tea for anyone who wants it - oh don’t forget the cheese !

When I was very ill I just let the supermarket and the fridgefreezer do the work.
All I did was put the meat, roasties stuffing etc in the oven at the right times. Frozen veggies in the microwave. Ready made gravy, posh bought, or bisto.
Xmas pud in the microwave, or mince pies. Tub of cream or ice cream. You can prep and freeze the roasties yourself, or buy them ready prepped. (Chilled ones taste more home made than ready frozen but more expensive).
The only thing I made from scratch was cranberry sauce, the week before.
Smoked salmon if you insist on a starter but surely the main meal is enough?
And rope in other people to help!
(That buffet looks so stressful it's making me twitchy)

Do a big casserole in the slow cooker and a tray of dauphinoise potatoes with a few salads and crusty bread and let everyone help themselves. For afters do a nice cheeseboard, one dessert and maybe some mince pies.

Madness!

I’ve made this mistake before trying to please everyone and it turned out to be a huge faff for slightly disappointing almost Christmas Dinner. By the time I’d done meat, roast potatoes, vegetables and gravy it would have been a doddle to do the rest of the roast but instead I had the added work of the other buffet bits.
You need to either pare the traditional elements back to accommodate the other bits or do something completely different.

For the last few years I’ve made lasagne. Everything assembled on Christmas Eve, so all I have to do when we get back from the pub on Christmas Day is put it in the oven and make a salad. Husband sorts out the starters.
I did YEARS of full turkey dinners for both sides of the family and it was only lockdown that broke the cycle.

Thanks everyone. I think I’ll go back to the drawing board and keep it simple with a Christmas dinner.
the thing is, I do actually enjoy cooking but Christmas dinner always feels like so much pressure to get everything right and enjoyable. But that’s more my expectations than theirs I think. Thanks again

That’s pretty much a Christmas dinner anyway . I’d do the meat and yorkshires , starters care of M & S, your DM brings the veg , you PIL the deserts and coffees .

Is this about timings? As in when your guests arrive? We would only do present opening at my PIL's when we knew there was nothing to be tinkered with in the kitchen, otherwise my lovely MIL, who did all the present shopping and Christmas cooking would miss out seeing the grandchildren open their presents. Plus miss all the chats etc. Totally unfair on her.

I think just simplify it. If that is a buffet then do a buffet. We use a hot plate thing to keep things heated meaning timings can be a little off. Think 1970s hostess trolley but for the modern day.

As for your PIL's attitude I think they should be incredibly grateful someone else is cooking Christmas lunch/dinner for them. My sister invites us and my Dad. We bring desserts, usually M&S and I thank her profusely. It is an incredible meal she makes, so many veggie sides.

I think it’s just a combination of many things. I have 2 vegans and an allergy to cater for too… then thinking about what my 3 will eat ( not picky eaters but still children)
I end up making 3 different starters to cater for them all because it’s DH family tradition to have starters on Xmas day but I can’t find 1 thing everyone would eat. Then the actual roast which ends up being about 10 different things besides the actual meat ( of which there are 2 because I like turkey) then puddings and then it’s all coffees, mince pies and cheese board. Which was fine when there wasn’t so many of us and my children involved.
I think it’s just me being overwhelmed and feeling like I miss out on Christmas Day because I’m stressing about feeding everyone.

I’m going to speak to DH and see if we can find a solution because right now I’d be happy with lasagne and salad 😂

Buffets are generally more work than making a Christmas dinner, so I am pleased that you are reconsidering.

Of course you don’t want to spend an age in the kitchen, so it will be a case of thinking what will work to avoid that happening. That could be either doing something different from the traditional fayre, or how you can make things easier.

At times I have yearned to have something different for Christmas dinner, but I was the lone voice. There is certainly an appeal to have a one pot dish with veg or bread on the side. So I have worked through how to make life easier for whoever is cooking.

Why are you considering spoiling your day to provide starters as well as the rest of the meal? They either they all have much the same (say something like a suitable soup, or melon with and without Parma ham), or no one has anything.

Notwithstanding the allergy, it is not that hard to cater for vegans and meat eaters. We do it every year. The veg, 2 of the stuffings etc are all vegan and quite often the gravy. So its only the meat (including pigs in blankets, plus perhaps a third sausage meat stuffing) and the vegan main with is different. There is no place in our household for Yorkshire puddings on Christmas Day (which saves a lot of faff) unless the only meat being served is beef. Let your guests bring pudding/desert, or get something shop bought. One for vegans and the other for the allergy. Depending on the allergy, make sure one of the puds is suitable.

If starters are their tradition that’s great… they can sort that course alongside the wine.

You cover the main… if the DC only eat pigs in blankets for the meal they will be just fine. You could also get the cheeseboard.

Ask your parents to cover dessert, mince pies and Port

Op your menu sounds like more hard work than a traditional Christmas dinner.

How about a swanky beef casserole that can be cooked the day before in the oven avd a bought main for the vegans. Then on the day just do the veg.

Starter - a ready made selection from a supermarket that can be laid out on the coffee table to let people graze on leading up to lunch.

Dessert - get your family to bring it with them.

They are all being incredibly selfish. It completely ruins your Christmas day and now they are arguing and saying they want it to stay like that! Honestly, if I were you with all those different requirements I would order a big Indian meal with everyone making suggestions as to what they want. I would cook a turkey or chicken and have sandwiches in the evening.

Sorry, repeat post.

Repeat

That looks like too much work. You would be better doing a reduced Christmas dinner.
Don’t do a starter, DHs family are also obsessed with them, however I don’t want one so I never make one.

I buy those tin trays and cook and keep everything warm in the oven - potatoes, stuffing, pigs, any roast veg. So all I am doing is anything cooked on the stove last thing - just spouts and gravy.
Reduce it down. Christmas dinner is enough! Get an alternative main/gravy for vegans. That’s the only concession. Buy dessert.

Ditch the Yorkshire puddings, unnecessary with everything else.

PILs decide on starters and bring it. They want it, they sort it.

Ready made vegan main and gravy. Don't put butter or bacon on the veg, make the stuffing vegan and do the potatoes in oil so all the sides except pigs in blankets are suitable for everyone.

You do the main course, everyone else brings pudding, cheese, mince pies and starters plus drinks. Pare the main course back. I don't know what veges you normally do but halve them and just do the ones your DC like.

Lurpack plant butter is excellent if you want a one size fits all.

So DH wants a starter. Does he wants to provide it, prep it, serve it, or does he want to enjoy his Christmas morning? It sounds like you are martyring yourself because of HIS expectations, so if he wants so that, he or his family need to step up.
A pp has already suggested making sure all veggies are suitable for vegans, ditch the Yorkies, have ready made vegan main and gravy. They might want to provide some vegan pudding options themselves. It's fine if kids just have pigs in blankets, sausages, stuffing if they don't want the turkey. Have the veggies the kids like, maybe red cabbage out of the freezer or bought in.

Christmas dinner doesn't have to be a big deal at all.

I make a trad family soup for first course a week or so in advance, freeze it then just warm it up on the hob. If that doesn't suit your family, smoked salmon blinis or parma ham and melon are fine and easy to prep. Then the roast just goes in the oven and comes out then ready. Buy ready made pigs in blankets and stuffing. Get family to peel spuds, carrots and parsnips with you, and to trim the sprouts. We have never bothered with cauliflower cheese and I'm the only one who wants red cabbage but if your family want these ask PiL to make one in advance and your parents to make the other.

If you have a trad pudding put it on to steam while you eat the other courses. If not, go for something made in advance.

Are you actually going to make these? To me it sounds like a lot of package opening.

I find it doesn’t melt very well and the water separates out. Naturli (block or spreadable) is far better if heat is involved.

I like it and find it ok on a high heat, guess we are all different.