Poncetastic Christmas 2025

[welikebeingcosy]

Added by MNHQ upon request:
OK, first of all, I know it's still September but we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you.The days are getting shorter, the leaves are starting to brown, that can only mean one thing- it's time to ignore the waves of Halloween decor all over your local The Range and head to the woods to start picking your own holly for that perfect Kirsty inspired wreath.

We want homemade stuffing recipes perfected by November, the handmade crackers draped in the most delicate of embroidered ribbon, mantle pieces draped in the most Scandinavian of wooden carvings, specialised stamps for the personalised wrapping paper ordered by next week and the word craft to be your official middle name by new year.

Happy ponceing and may Nigel and Nigella's fairy lights guide you on your way to getting the last box of rosemary and sea salt crackers in your own personal Bethlehem.

Re: Christmas cake recipes, I made this one last year after a lovely recommendation from somebody on the Poncetastic thread (sorry, I can't remember who!) And it was absolutely delicious. The stout is reduced down and adds a nice, subtle saltiness. It's also gluten-free, and doesn't need to be fed.

https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/uk/food/recipes/a29365841/chocolate-stout-christmas-cake/

This year, I really should omit any kind of christmas cake, because I'm on a low-histamine diet for medical reasons. Not sure its fair to subject the rest of the family to my odd requirements though, but I will struggle to resist if there's a fruit cake in the house...

Any recommendations for gluten-free, alcohol-free, and citrus-free christmas cakes? No chocolate either - I know it's not traditional, but I did enjoy it in last year's. It's shaping up to be quite a miserable christmas, food-wise 😔 No cheese either!

I’ve already got quite a few bits already prepared in the freezer for Christmas time. Two soups, tomato which I made over the summer as I have tonnes of tomatoes in the garden this year and a French Onion soup which we’ll have for lunch on Christmas day. I also made a lasagne, using up more tomatoes to have as an easy meal in the lead up.

I’ve also made 3 types of sausage rolls (one is cranberry and ginger nut biscuit flavour, one apple and the other one is peach (apple and peach ones are using fruit from the garden).

Cheese straws and family favourites tuna turnovers are also made and ready in the freezer (this year I haven’t pre baked them as I wanted to see if they turn out by not being baked before freezing).

Christmas cake is made and I still have jars of mincemeat left over that I made last year. I also found some of my Nigella Lawson cranberry mincemeat leftover in the freezer so that’s good.

I’ve made grape jelly which I’m excited about this year and also tomato marmalade.

There will be a lot of us at home in the lead up to Christmas, including all my siblings and parents so the plan is to make as many meals as possible in advance and freeze them. I did this last year with nibbles but still got bogged down with main meals so want to freeze more of them too.

Ambitiously for me as I’m rubbish at sowing, I’ve started making a felt garland for the mantlepiece. I’ve made 5 of the hanging decorations so far, but after measuring I’ve realised I need to make a further 15 which is rather daunting as each one takes me ages.

@Magnoliasunrise

you could “kiln” dry them in your domestic oven. They need to loose about 33% of the dry weight to be seasoned. Very low heat. I had to dry some sticks for dancing and it worked well.

Just finished this. It’s a cheapie from The Works. It was £3 last year for the complete kit. I am moving onto tree decorations now and also need to make 2 pinnies. One for my friend and a matching one for her toddler.

I make them very similar to These but I put much more garlic and I add some dark chocolate ~25gr and 50~100 gr of butter to the final sauce.
I use the oven instructions btw

I’m so glad it’s here ! I do love a bit of poncing, even though my best laid plans don’t always come to fruition.

This year, the quince jelly will involve a meeting in a car park in Stevenage to do a highly suspicious exchange of carrier bags , as my old work colleague with the quince tree , and I both retired , so we’re going to lunch , and swap quinces for sloes , although someone’s got to my usual sloe spot before me this year and stripped a load ! No matter, I found a new spot where the bushes were absolutely groaning with them so they are sitting in my freezer whilst I put my kitchen back together after having it resprayed .

Just a reminder that M&S Christmas food to order slots are now open to book.

Thanks for this, I might try it as we've got so much wood I think I can risk a few potential mishaps.

I did the Christmas Cake this weekend using the James Martin recipe. Seemed to come out OK. I was determined to use some of the odd bottles of alcohol we had in the cupboard. So ended up using a spiced rum with hint of toffee apple. The licking of the bowl tasted delicious so let's hope the cake does too.

I meant to send you a fellow histamine intolerant wave 👋
Sigh.

Last year was first attempt and I'd read an article about low histamine Thanksgiving so was optimistic about Christmas dinner which was indeed fine, good even.

What I hadn't anticipated was the treats being so tricky. We love Anja Dunks dried pear loaf from her book Advent with cheese, and mince pies and fruitcake and pudding. And chocolate and cheese.

Dietician suggested really nice fudge (if you are OK with dairy). We also made things like apple and Blueberry crumble, Poached pears in a frangipan thing or just with cream. Pavlova.
White chocolate is better than brown.

I sometimes treat myself to a tonic woth more or less gin.

You've inspired me to look through the Advent book for some lower histamine possibilities.

I ate a big piece of really mature brie cheese when it was handed to me by a friend's American guest last year. Worh a glass of wine. Im going to work on saying no thank you, Im intolerant. I might take some laughing cow/philadelphia 🙄🫩

We could have a tiny low histamine Christmas thread to feel sorry for ourselves/brain storm.

I'm craving a pear and ginger steamed pudding now
I can also tolerate a bit of carob

https://arecipeforgluttony.wordpress.com/2014/02/28/steamed-pudding-with-ginger-syrup-gluten-free/

Hive mind!
Can anyone recommend a vegan Christmas cake recipe. When it was DD birthday I made a good from Vegan hugs that used apple sauce. DD makes a fab chocolate cake that I guess I could adapt but personal suggestions would be good.
She is our only vegan but 3 vegetarians in the family that I like to work around.

Fellow low histamine & FODMAP diet follower here. Virtually everything I mention that I make (food wise) will absolutely not be for me. It will be consumed by others for their enjoyment whilst I eat dust. Dust! Tbh, I'm used to it as I was a chef for years and the Italian in me is used to feeding people / getting enjoyment from seeing others relishing what I've made.

On that note, I want to try and recreate the M&S nut cutlets of yesteryear for DD (approx 1989?) which I adored and had every Sunday whilst the folks had their meat n two veg. I don't know if anyone remembers them but I think they were largely rice based, they had carrot in them and were herby and beautifully seasoned. There were no chunky nuts as such and no beans. I'd like to try and recreate it as a nut roast type thing that could also double as a veggie stuffing. Otherwise DD just has Carrots, Yorkshires and gravy which is slightly depressing and I feel needs poncing up in any way possible. (Autistic, so no guarantee she would like this, but it would be a huge win if she did)

Any suggestions welcome.

https://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/vegetables/best-ever-cranberry-pistachio-nut-roast/

Sorry I don't usually post , but I love this thread thank you for sorting many ideas and inspiration. This is in reply to the last message about a nut roast. I have made this many times for my sister who is a vegetarian but the meat eaters always enjoy it too! I have found it online but I believe it's in Jamie's Christmas cook book which I need to hunt out again for more inspiration for this year. Happy Autumn everyone !

I’m going to make a soup and bread for the family Christmas Eve lunch, main with be a rib of beef that I’m not cooking.

What sort of soup do you think? I’ve made something before and made a whole meal walnut loaf, a white bread and something else (they’ll be 10-12 people). I don’t think French onion will work as it’s too strong before the roast.

Or this one?

www.allrecipes.com/recipe/22248/carrot-rice-nut-burger/

Broccoli and Stilton Soup. Full of flavour but not actually too heavy. Alongside the walnut bread you mentioned. Fab!

Here's the recipe I use:

https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/broccoli-stilton-soup

Now that looks uncannily similar. Thanks lovely 😍

Sigh. @RainbowZebraWarrior

The algorithm dies not like a link to

Rice, carrot and chia nut roast
From Green Gormet Giraffe 😁

Looking for Christmas scent recommendations please. I want the place to smell more on the piney/woody/warm side than the citrus/cinnamon side, if possible please.

@Autumnspicery that nut roast looks delicious

At the more expensive end of the market, I'd say Sapin by Diptyque. At the more affordable end of the market I could recommend St Eval and their Winter Tyme or Embers candles. They also do a Rosemary one I've heard good things about.

Thanks, I’ve been burning a St Eval fig candle and it’s very waxy/candley smelling, hard to explain, but not figgy at all. I do like more gourmand type smells though so Rosemary sounds quite good.