Poncetastic Christmas 2025

[welikebeingcosy]

Added by MNHQ upon request:
OK, first of all, I know it's still September but we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you.The days are getting shorter, the leaves are starting to brown, that can only mean one thing- it's time to ignore the waves of Halloween decor all over your local The Range and head to the woods to start picking your own holly for that perfect Kirsty inspired wreath.

We want homemade stuffing recipes perfected by November, the handmade crackers draped in the most delicate of embroidered ribbon, mantle pieces draped in the most Scandinavian of wooden carvings, specialised stamps for the personalised wrapping paper ordered by next week and the word craft to be your official middle name by new year.

Happy ponceing and may Nigel and Nigella's fairy lights guide you on your way to getting the last box of rosemary and sea salt crackers in your own personal Bethlehem.

@ThisTaupeZebra I use OneNote on my phone. I have set it up so that I have sections for soups, lunches, cakes etc, like the chapter headings in a recipe book. If I see an online recipe I like the look of, I screenshot it and paste it onto a page in the relevant section. I get my magazines online from my library app and it's a brilliant way of saving recipes I see there too.

I had a full day of ponceing yesterday, making two different Christmas cakes and ordering some new decs from John Lewis while the cakes were in the oven.

Consulted last years Christmas food list and added the essentials to the Ocado order for Christmas week. I am not buying any snacks and chocs early however good the offers are as we just ate them when we had the munchies and then had to replace them! So no money saved at all. They are on the Ocado order and I will be avoiding them until then

I want a new potted tree to decorate for the garden so I'll pop into the garden centre later and see what they have.

Lovely wire wreath @Tombobombo , oddly MN had marked it as sensitive content!

Bought fruit cake ingredients today. Going to get all the fruit soaking in brandy. I find making the Christmas cake very cheering. I'd like to do some sewing too, so will get my festive cotton selection down from the loft and have a play...

Apologies if you may have it sorted by now, I am just catching up, but as vegan in residence can I offer my adaptation of the GH chocolate and Guinness Christmas cake. You can use Guinness zero if it needs to be alcohol free.

Seconding the domestic Gothess cake for a traditional style.

@PinballWizened
That vegan cake looks just the ticket and using Guinness Zero is brilliant as we have a family member who doesn’t drink alcohol at all.

Just popping on to say that the light up tins have finally arrived in M&S if anyone collects them like I do (I have a rather large village of them now) I do like the design and colours this year and it will fit nicely with my mainly white theme / colour scheme.

Ooh they are particularly nice this year. I like the little ones especially. Will definitely get some of those. I’m a big lover of tiny white houses.

In terms of poncing, my kids earned extra pocket money yesterday by harvesting chestnuts from our own tree...

We now have about 14kg, and not enough space in the freezer. 😅

Any suggestions?

Lordy! I'd say you're potentially going to have to give some away as they do go mouldy within a few weeks and shelling 14 kilos would be a killer on the old hands. Unless you can have a 'roast chestnuts and wine' type party where you invite lots of folk over for a bonfire and roast / peel them en masse.

If your hands are up to peeling a couple of kilos, you could always preserve a few jars in syrup / liquer.

Wish I was nearby. I'd buy a couple of kilos from you!

https://www.finedininglovers.com/explore/articles/how-store-chestnuts-home-8-easy-ways

https://rivercottage.net/recipes/chestnut-jam/ might work and could be gifted? I’d store it in an unheard garage or similar to keep it cool.

Could you make and store chestnut purée in the freezer?

Going to bring some to work to hand out, I think.

Thank you for the tips! I also found lots of good tips via the BBC, also about making the peeling of the inner shell easier.

I'm in the Netherlands, so getting them to you is a bit tricky, @RainbowZebraWarrior 😊

@dutchyoriginal my husband used to travel to the Netherlands regularly for work, I’m sure he could have made room on the plane for a bucket 😆

im sad I can’t go to France and buy piles of cheese and butter to bring home any more. One time DH picked up the wrong butter and came home with several blocks of decent but unsalted stuff, great for baking but rubbish for eating 😆

I have just seen a recipe for festive shortbread which is going on my list, it popped up on FB, looks lovely with cranberries, pistachios and orange zest

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1BAwGgM2Sh/?mibextid=wwXIfr

Ooh. That looks nice. I've given up a bit on M&S bringing back my Spiced Shortbread this year (it was in the shops by 4 Sept last year) so I think I'm going to have to devise my own recipe. I might be able to adapt this one by adding nutmeg and raisins. Mind, they still don't have the gingerbread syrup in yet either so I guess it would always pop up.

The festive shortbread looks so nice - I'm going to make a batch.

I’ve got some polystyrene rings in a box in the garage that I’ve had for years. Any ideas on how to ponce them for Christmas?

Hopefully this link works. Depending on the size they could be used as candle / table decorations or wreaths. Would be lovely as gifts. I always have tons of moss and twiggy bits handy for this type of thing, but ribbons, buttons and feathers all work too..

https://uk.pinterest.com/cevans1654/polystyrene-ring-crafts/

I'd be wary about mixing candles and polystyrene 😅

I think I’ll make versions of this and gift them. I wonder if I’ll need a new glue gun…

I think I’ll wrap them in hessian and then wrap over that with a string or neutral wool and then buy some bags of winter bits to glue on.

I made this once using a polystyrene wreath. Stuck them on using a glue gun. The thing that took the time was drying the fir cones after collecting them.

@Inthedeep can you dry them in an oven? We are hopefully off to Scotland and near where we stay I could get a lot of those…

@FurForksSake yes, I dried some in the oven and others on radiators etc. The oven is definitely the quickest way to do it though ☺️. Make sure you do it on a very low temperature and keep an eye on them so they don’t burn. They will take longer than you think to fully open.

Thanks @Inthedeep it’s lovely.

Those wreaths are so lovely.

A couple of years ago, when my very elderly mum's health, was declining fast, we made a Christmas wreath out of green,red and white pompoms. My mum had always done lots of crafts - sewing, knitting, you name it my mum had a go at it. Sadly she reached a point where mentally and physically she couldn't do any of those things anymore. I bought a pompom making kit & yarn and it was something easy that she could sit and do. We used a glue gun to stick them on to a polystyrene ring.

I miss my mum especially around Christmas.

Just catching up…

@Tombobombowhat pattern are you using for your crackers?

@FurForksSakeEvery Christmas here in France I buy a dome of President butter with the salt crystals in. I slather it over everything. 😂

In general I haven’t got round to anymore poncing since my marmalade. School stuff, my son’s horse riding, social stuff, and everyone being sick seems to have taken up all the time. That’s not even factoring in work. Hopefully start of term madness will calm down now.

We have a glut of green tomatoes so I may attempt some green tomato jam.

I did manage to buy some cute wooden Christmas tree cocktail sticks the other day and some festive Spider-Man window stickers for my boys’ bedroom and some Mini Mouse ones for my daughter.