First year without Father Christmas

[Staghead1]

This is the first year we haven't had Father Christmas in the house for 20 years! First one for me as a parent and I'm wondering how to make new traditions and keep it fun. Youngest is 11 and she definitely doesn't believe, she probably didn't last year.
I want to keep it fun and maybe introduce something new.
Any ideas?

No 11 year old believes in Father Christmas in August, but he’s very real when norad kicks off on Christmas Eve. Nothing has to change except the moths seem to have killed the bloody elf (so glad that didn’t exist when mine were little)

Don't back on it. My dd13 has already told me she hopes the elves come again this year....followed by a Paddington hard stare that said 'I know it's you but you'd better carry on pretending mother'

No need to change anything! The familiar rituals will make Christmas lovely, even though belief has finished.

That's what we all love about Christmas, isn't it? Establishing traditions (sometimes on purpose and sometimes accidentally) and getting daftly over-concerned about replicating them year after year.

One year my mum excitedly said "Let's open the Vanity Fair!" and was crestfallen when we all looked at her uncomprehendingly. She meant let's open the Quality Street but had forgotten the name.

Sure enough, we bought Quality Street every year after that, and , at the appointed time, one of us would always call out "Let's open the Vanity Fair!"

They might not believe in Santa, but that doesn't mean the magic has to stop. We still have stockings and surprises - my DS (now 22 and therefore a long time past believing) moved me to tears last year when we were reminiscing about Christmases past and he said: "I now realise that you were Santa - and you still are!"

Too expensive to see his family on Christmas Day?

I never thought anyone really believed in Father Christmas. It’s just traditional to pretend. My oldest is nearly 40 we still play the game.

We still do stockings, elf on the shelf and leaving mince pie/ carrots out- mine are 15 and 17! They still get really excited about opening their stockings together and then coming in to show me. I still do the whole “ooh what did you get from Santa?” even though they roll their eyes at me 🤣

My only advice is don’t try and keep the magic. It’s gone and it’s sad but just accept that you are in a different phase now. We pretend that Santa came but really it’s a bit ridiculous. Elf on the shelf has also gone - thank god.

We try and do a nice meal out etc to make things a little more exciting

Ah come on - the magic does have to stop. Treating your children doesn’t have to stop but it’s not magic anymore, is it ?

I honewtly don't understnd this. So no presents, no christmas lunch, no parties, no christmas activities? They're all fun and of course that's magic - not magic in the wave-a-wand or -fat-man-comes-down-chimney, but still magic.

not magic in the wave-a-wand or -fat-man-comes-down-chimney, but still magic. Exactly! Transforming the house into a twinkling winter wonderland - making it feel special. Getting out cherished decorations, lighting the Advent candles - you make your own magic.

that's turned into me trying to stick him in ridiculous places, and the first one to spot him gets a reward. it's something silly/fun to do with the older kids.

I’m 40something, kids late teens and we still have Father Christmas and the elf!
yes it’s evolved. But life is so fucking tedious without a bit of sparkle

We still do stockings although we don’t do the mince pie and carrot any longer.
we’ve gone to the cinema every Christmas Eve since he was 5 (except for Covid years) so we still do that. Sometimes a little earlier now he wants to go out with his mates in the evening.
Christmas morning we let him sleep in and my husband and I enjoy a chilled morning having coffee, listening to classic FM Christmas music and getting the dinner ready. Just chilled really.
Then we have to play Christmas hat chicken so the person who keeps their hat from their cracker on the longest wins. My cousin holds the record after wearing it to bed one year. It disintegrated when he tried to keep it on in the shower! 😂

Last year we got a thatched cottage and went away, that was lovely but stressful trying to transport all the food and presents.

We have a family tradition of us all pretending Father Christmas exists
We still put carrots out for the reindeer
My kids are 21,21 and 25
Its a yearly eye roll from the kids 🤣🤣

Of course presents , of course decorating , carol services, trips into town to see the lights, christmas eve meal, christmas dinner, boxing day family get together…….

Yes to all of these things but no to moving a bloody elf around trying to pretend the kids are still small. They’ve grown up so myself and DH grow with them.

We still ‘do’ Santa!

I have no idea what this Elf business is all about

Is that a new thing or did I deny my kids a bit of Christmas fun

Actually one of the things we still do is the youngest lights a candle and puts it in the window to signify that we are a home that is welcoming to those less fortunate (mary , joseph, manger etc) This is something worth keeping up

We have the Advent candle but that’s a religious thing to us.

Father Christmas doesn't miss any houses. He still drops off stocking gifts to my 18 and 16yr old.

You should tell the pesky Elf that his shenanigans are no longer needed though.

Not really what you're asking but might help keep the magic going. I saw a poem once and this is definitely what I'm telling my dc when they get to that age. Sorry if this is a bit of a ramble but it was something like:
Santa is real! Okay he's not a man in a red suit with a big beard who fly's around in a sleigh. Santa is a feeling, a magical feeling and a way of spreading love, cheer, happiness and fun. It's a way of getting the most pleasure you will ever know from a completely selfless act, us as parents give gifts and spread magic getting nothing in return but the pleasure of seeing our children full of joy (santa and the elves get all the credit) Santa is the easiest way us grown ups can show how amazing it is to give and to be kind and joyful without looking for anything back. Just because you know he's not an actual person 'santa' isn't gone, now you're just old enough to understand what it truly means without needing it to be represented by a man in a suit. And now you're old enough you can be part of the fun and join in making the magic and spreading the love and happiness.

That poem is exactly how I feel about the big fella.
he does exist. In a sort of way

My DC are in their forties. I still do stockings for them, and now for their partners too. I love picking interesting little bits and pieces I know they’ll like and have no intention of stopping.

@DrPrunesqualer You missed nothing!!. Elf has to be moved every night usually remembered in bed just before falling asleep. I'm hoping to stop but as someone said life is boring enough so maybe we will continue and all take a turn to hide in a random place

I told my DD that she was now in a very important club of older people who make things fun for the little ones, and to be careful how she spoke about Santa round them. On the first year of No Santa we went to Midnight Mass as she no longer had to be in bed for Santa and that we now had the freedom to do new stuff at Xmas, whatever we wanted. So Xmas is now more about doing what we wanted to do rather than what the man in the red suit dictates