Christmas past...

[AuntieDen]

This year is Christmas with PIL - not the way that I do it but that's ok

They are both noticeably older in recent years and MIL is on the dementia journey - BIL and I will do Christmas dinner which is basically a non negotiable menu and I will do meals which are more 'my' traditions but she has grown to enjoy around the rest of the time we're there.

But does anyone have any ideas for things MIL may appreciate/remind her of her younger years and resonate well with her? mid 80's and from Belfast.

Christmas is very much church, traditional dinner and not a lot else. I introduced jigsaws and crackers and 'Christmas afternoon tea' when I joined the family but we're beyond jigsaws now and crackers just confused her the last couple of years.

What would likely have been a tradition for her in the 50's and what other gentle things could I introduce now to divert from an entire afternoon of Last of the Summer Wine?

I will try an old fashioned picture advent again but it often just sits there unopened (we're only there for a week of December and I'm not expecting other family members to open it every day!).

I may do some tophats and a traybake or two to take over which she can then offer visitors as if she still makes them.

Not really looking for gift ideas (although old fashioned tins of sweets and a jellycat dog which looks like one she had years ago were previous hits, thinking of a girl guides annual this year - happy to get suggestions but that's less of a concern than 'enrichment'!)

This sort of thing went down well with a family member who was starting to experience issues. I don't know whether this is what you're looking for.

Annoyingly it didn't attach...try searching for fiddle blankets or mugs. Amazon have them.

Have you got much space? And is she up to moving about? My ex’s mum used to love having a dance around the room to Johnny Mathis singing carols. Nothing you’d see on Strictly, obviously, it was more of a shuffle with ex’s dad. But she always started talking about going to dances in her youth and it made her chat quite happily for a while.

thats a lovely idea @WilfredsPies - she's fit enough to dance if I can find something she'd dance to. Will see if DH can think of someone she'd like thats not a hymn!

@gato21 thanks for that suggestion - has sparked me looking for a tabard version (she won't have a lap rug but she wears her apron/tabard constantly) and also made me think we could get her one with her name and phone number in case she wanders!

My Mum loved reminiscing even after her dementia became a bit more pronounced. How about a printed photo book of photos from family Christmases (and maybe even other big events like weddings, christenings etc). Your PILs can sit with family members who remember the different events and chat about the memories of Christmas past over the course of the day.

I hope your family have a good day.

a photo book is a great call thanks @Slippersandrum @MamaBobo - I will raid the photo albums for Christmas pictures when we're there next and make a book of them all, hopefully with labels if we can work out who they are! She will happily look at pics on my phone for hours even though she doesn't know people so that's a guaranteed hit!

We will have a good day, thank you, perhaps not the day we'd want, but no one would choose batshit crazy as an option in their old age, we just have to find ways to manage things!

How about tracing her family tree? I've just started doing it and my grandparents love it. You could start it and then depending on how 'with it' she is it might be a nice thing to either do together over Christmas or show hee your progress. You sound lovely :)

That's so thoughtful of you OP. I don't have anything to offer but wanted to say that.

My mum is very elderly. She loves the old musicals. Could you tolerate those?!

@FilthyforFirth one of her cousins did that a few years ago. I wonder if I can find the things he sent her (she is also obsessed with "putting things away" so it could be anywhere from the garden shed to the back of the wardrobe - at least it will give me something to do!)

@healthybychristmas instant reaction No! Considered reaction - after 3 days of LOTSW at volume 11 I will watch almost anything to get a break from yet another jolly jape involving a hilarious misunderstanding.

@Mydadsbirthday thank you but it is mostly self preservation 😆

Have a look on YouTube for old videos of the village or wherever she comes from and put them onto a disc so someone can sit her in front of the tv from time to time.

Put her village into Facebook, Amazon and Abebooks and see if there are old books with pictures or old photos you can print yourself.

My mum was of the same era OP. When we found ourselves where you are she absolutely loved joining in with a sing song. Not just the tunes of her childhood but also later things, Christmas and comedy songs and films from musicals.

@TheSandgroper that is bloody genius - there's mid century Belfast all over youtube! how didn't we think of that before! Playlist started...

@Pubgarden all she likes are hymns... I think I may have found my limit with that😆Perhaps one for her sons to take the lead on! (but in fairness she would likely love that if they did)