Thinking of suggesting a secret santa

[NoNameisGoodEnough]

I love Christmas. I love the decorations, the food, the drink, the telly, the carol services etc etc.
What I really don't like is that, from about October, everyone is messaging me... "What do you want for Christmas?" "What does DH want for Christmas?" "What does DD want for Christmas?" "What should I buy DD's BF for Christmas?"
Aaaaaaah! I don't knowwwwwww!
So, I'm thinking this year, now DD (and her BF) are 18 to do a secret santa. There aren't that many of us, we only have a small family but I just think it would work. I would still get DH something and DD something but for the wider family, I'm hoping this would take so much pressure off and then, the money I've saved that I usually use on buying stuff for everyone else, we can use to go out and buy a bigger or more expensive item in January as a treat for ourselves.
I just worry it will take some of the magic out of the day and I know MIL will stress as she likes to give (doesn't matter what it is or whether it is wanted or needed).
Anyone got any experiences on whether this is a good plan or not?

Our friends do this with good effect. I think their budget is £50 and the person can make 3 suggestions but not requests on the slip with their name on it. Then names are drawn and gifts brought on Xmas day to their meal. Friend, her husband, adult son and his wife and adult daughter and her husband. One year friends husband got his own name and didn’t let on- said it was his best present yet!!!

You could put a limit on it "We;re setting a £10/£15 spend limit"
Or maybe a "Wrap it so it is impossible to guess" I gave my DS 10x£10 notes inside a book -one of those Hector -Santa needs your help ones BOGOF from Clintons.To say he was underwhelmed until he saw money , his face was priceless he always wants cash , it is fun to wrap.

Whatever new plans , tell people early before they start buying .
"We're thinking this year rein it in, so everyone doesn;t feel the pressure "

We do this every year now for the adult members of the family. There are usually 10 -12 adults on Christmas Day & we have a £50 .limit per gift. To be fair once names have been selected ( usually a month or so before) a lot of people still ask in a roundabout way what their giftee might want, but at least if means we all get one (hopefully) decent present that someone has had time to think about, rather than lots of bits &pieces often bought out of desperation !

There’s always threads on here moaning about it and personally I’d hate it. But worth sounding it out if you think the others would be up for it.

I was thinking of a £50 limit so it's a decent gift and using an app that selects the person you're buying for and allows people to set up a wish list.

There is absolutely no harm in suggesting it and see what everyone thinks. It might be a relief for others too- I know I'd prefer it! If everyone agrees, I'd just make it very clear to the wider family what the plan is.

I hadn't been aware that it often gets moaned about on here. Do you know why? I am so thankful for our secret santa. Saves so much money and means we all end up with something we want and not a whole heap of unwanted items.

Absolutely love secret Santa. Why waste money on fifteen gifts which you don’t need to buy or want. We do two - one for both of our families (all family adults participate with no extra presents bought separately). Limit about £35 so you can get something decent and we use an app to select names/write any suggestions of you want to. Spend £70 on two nice presents and get two lovely presents in return.

Perfect and saves me buying god knows what for my brother in law/brother/cousin…

We do secret Santa every year now. £50 budget, and we all write a list of what we want. Only rules are - stick to the budget and buy off the list. We wouldn’t have it any other way now.
if people make their lists long enough then they’ll still get a bit of a surprise on Xmas day :)

We do secret Santa and we use Draw names (can also use the app). It draws the names so no-one gets themselves, you can set exclusions so if couples are in it and are buying for each other separately for example, you can make sure they don't draw each other.
You can also make wish lists which can be ticked off by whoever buys the present.
You can also make wish list for kids not included in the secret santa which is really useful as we do a family secret santa, but just for the adults, but all the kids have wish lists which saves aunties/uncles and grandparents asking what the kids want for Christmas.

I think a family secret Santa to cut down on how many presents everyone needs to buy is entirely different from the dreaded office secret Santa.

it’s worth proposing to the family. Be flexible about budgets and consider the most skint members of the family. Someone like DD’s 18yo boyfriend may not have been planning to buy gifts for her grandmother at this stage, so the imposition of a large max may be a bit much. It’s also possible he might not even be around by Christmas so make sure you have a contingency plan for that.

That’s a really good idea. In our family there are now lots of children so we only buy for the kids and it saves buying the generic gift sets for the adults that get regifted