For DS's close in age (8 and 6) is it fair to buy similar gifts?

[MaybeItsTimeForMeNow]

Just wondering if I am falling into a trap here which may be unfair on my youngest (but equally may be over thinking it!). My son's will be just turned 8 and very near to 6 this Christmas. On the whole the play together with similar things e.g. Playmobil pirates or construction, hot wheels, Lego, colouring that sort of thing. Last night I saw something in a toy sale I thought my eldest would love, I haven't bought it but thought I'd bank the idea for now, it's an mythical armoured vehicle of sorts which shoots weapons etc. recommended age is 8, but then I notice they also do it in two colours. My head straight away though great they get one each, and can have battles. I realised I probably do this a lot, so "bump" my youngest son into what my eldest has, or they have quite a few similar gifts but different colours/characters etc. is that a bit mean? My thoughts are always if one has a cool vehicle/weapon/character it's pretty boring on its own without something to crash/fight with. But now I'm wondering if I have just made it easier for me instead and should aim to get separate things? Does that even make sense...😂

I'd assume if you only get one there may be arguments about wanting to use it anyway? So buying two is probably the 'fairer' option for both.

Mine are 3 years apart. Some stuff I buy is the same, others different based on their individual interests. However they tend to play with 80% of the stuff jointly e.g. DS has a marble run which (older) DD also quite likes, DD got a Squishy which DS sometimes takes to bed.

I sometimes feel bad for DD e.g. they both got activity tracker watches this year. We wouldn't have bought DD one when she was 5. At the end of the day, they are both happy and I take into account what they both ask for, so I think it's fine! Plus birthdays tend to be more different.

As an aside the present sounds like something my DS would love!

I really clearly remember opening a present and being delighted with it, claiming excitedly about it only for the shine to come off with my sister saying she had one too. Couldn't tell you what the gift was but I remember that. I had that I've been lumped in with sibling feeling. I am the eldest btw.
I found out years later than my my gran had noticed my dissappoinment and had a word with my mum.
I don't know how you'd judge it though - maybe jigsaws, board games, books etc can be same but similar, likewise stocking fillers. Anything a bit more fun like a toy maybe not. I totally get they might argue over toys if there's only 1 but that is about making your life easier, that's not for them.

Needing two so there's an an opponent for the game to work is a bit different.

Thanks @Scout2016 I'm sorry you felt like that, but really all you sharing. I'm absolutely going to have a rethink, so maybe the older battle set for the older DS and a younger similar-ISH Playmobil version for younger ds, so they can play together probably, but I'm acknowledging the age difference and giving them both separate wow factors.

That should say appreciate! Stupid auto correct

Take advantage of being able to do this now, they will soon have different interests (12 year olds and almost 10 year olds can be quite different)

Hello OP,

I have two DS with a similar age gap (4 and 6), and I generally get them both similar things and different things. In short I get them what I think they would enjoy, and sometimes that's the same thing and sometimes it's not. I've also given them gifts in common (last Christmas it was a huge set up for train tracks, it would have made zero sense for them to have one each and as it was expensive it made sense for it to be a shared gift).

When they play together they tend to share stuff naturally with the eldest having the "bigger thing" and the youngest having the smaller thing. That works for them because my younger son enjoys being the baby (he isn't really anymore as I have a DD 1yo but he likes roleplaying at being the baby still).

An easy alternative would be to get the thing for your eldest's birthday. This way no need to think about what to get the younger one (and if he loves it/is very jealous you can always get it for his birthday or Christmas, whichever comes first).

It's funny you think you're being unfair to your youngest as I often feel the opposite - that DS1 had to wait X years before he could get X thing but DS2 gets it earlier.