How to regain love for Christmas

[Christmasfizzleout]

I used to love Christmas as a child and in my teens. Probably more than the average child. I could sit mesmerised by the Christmas tree lights for hours. I loved the rituals and the familiarity- my grandparents' arrival marked the start, we then decorated the house, mum did her big Sainsbury's shop. It was my favourite time of year.

Now in my 40s, I'm the complete opposite. I find Christmas really stressful and sad. This is partly because I lost my mum a few years ago. It also just makes me feel old and scared about our children growing up so quickly . I also hate the excess and increasing consumerism of a modern Christmas.

I don't want to turn into Scrooge and ruin Christmas for everyone else. What can I do to start enjoying Christmas again? The last few years have resorted to drinking my way through the day, which is not the solution! I'm considering having counselling as it's almost turning into a phobia. Should add I'm ND and I expect this is a lot to do with my inability to adapt to change.

Part of the problem for me is that the years whizz by as we get older, and it feels like Christmas has only just finished before it starts again.

I read a theory on this that as we get older each day/month that passes is a smaller % of our lives than for someone younger, so in perspective it seems to race by quicker. To me that makes sense, I try and fight it a bit similar to you ie avoid thinking about Christmas before December etc otherwise it seems to fly by even more.

There have been some lovely posts on here and have taken something from every single one. Thank you

As for why I want to start enjoying Christmas again, it's because I don't want to come across as a killjoy for my children, and also because it is the main celebration in the UK calendar.

And how did this year go.... erm it hasn't been too bad, because I am overseas somewhere hot and different with DH's family! Sadly this won't become a regular thing due to finances/his complex family dynamics

I guess my post was triggered by thinking ahead to next year , seeing others' xmas photos on SM and feeling a sense of dread.

Sorry it's been a bit flat for you. Maybe next year we'll have it all worked out

Can only bring some solidarity, our Christmases used to be immense. Relatives travelled from N.Z and all around the U.K. The build up began Dec 1st, cakes were made, presents purchased. Christmas Eve we would travel to my aunt and stay there until 27th Dec. New years Eve and New Year’s Day we would celebrate again. There twenty plus of us at the dinner table, we would play games until late in to the night, laughing and joking and telling stories.

Sadly they have all now passed away, DM 82 and my aunt 86 are left, my uncle has dementia and my aunt’s son died in October (he loved Christmas). So my aunt has not celebrated this year.
DH isn’t really a Christmas person, his dad comes for dinner then leaves, his mother lives away. This year I held a little mini Christmas Day before the day itself but it was really just my MIL getting very drunk. Spent a fortune on gifts for her and I got …. an air freshener 🤣

DM will play games etc but it’s not the same. I try my best for DD she’s only really interested in toys and tv.

I think I’ve moved on to acceptance, Christmases of old have ended. They’ll never be the same because I can’t recreate those times without my relatives. Spent a fortune this year really trying to create ‘Christmas spirit’ and there’s only a handful of us. It was a waste of time. I’ve got to let it go for my own sanity. I build it up in my head and it’s over 🤷🏼‍♀️.
Once my DM goes I know it’ll be even worse. Not sure what we will do, get away perhaps.

I’ll always have my Christmas memories, as will you. Maybe you have single/lonely friends who would love to be a part of your day. Good luck.

Reading that back jeez, I didn’t mean to sound so depressed! It’s just life I guess- it goes on but maybe not always how we would like it. Always a huge build up the day, it’s only a few days a year that it plays on my mind, bit silly perhaps.

I think it comes and goes. We've had some quiet Christmases and you think about earlier ones that involved excited young children and adoring grandparents. But today my son was over with his partner. They're expecting their first baby in a month's time, so there's an excited feeling about a new member of the family this time next year...