Sleeping on the Floor

[Petula1977]

Have to travel 200 miles to visit in laws for xmas tomorrow. We are finally debt free and have a dog so can't stay in a hotel as we cant afford the expensive dog friendly one near her. MIL has a 3 bed house with two double beds, a single bed and a sofa. We asked if it was ok if we stay. The in laws and my teenage children can have the double beds, I sleep on the single bed, dp has sofa. She has point blank refused and said one of us needs to sleep on the floor as she needs the entire double bed to herself as her back hurts so my fil has to sleep on the sofa. Is she being difficult on purpose? I've always had a strained relationship with her and it seems like she's being deliberately awkward.

I'd just suck it up and get a hotel tbf. Can the dog not stay at MIL's overnight? Mine would be perfectly happy there.

🤣🤣🤣. I meant for a number of reasons. Unfortunately I took the glasses off

It is a bit rude to invite yourselves, the lot of you AND your dog.

Best answer.

DH and i Don't share a bed and whenever MIL wants to visit she expects to stay over (no need as she only lives half an hour away) and this means she expects me to give up my bed and share with DH. I did it twice and then thought no...fuck off. Get to your own house! I don't want Mil in my bed...it's a bit gross to me.

Your MiL obviously doesn't sleep in the same bed as FIL any more. And clearly doesn't want to any time soon. Stop making a fuss. She's said 'bad back' as a saving face excuse. Just go with it. Take a blow up mattress and a sleeping bag and get one of your teens to sleep on the floor.

It’s fairly obvious that usually the in-laws sleep separately in the 2 doubles but your FIL is kindly vacating his so that there are more beds for guests . Lots of people don’t bed share with their partners for a variety of reasons .

I have hosted overnight guests a lot in the past, but have reached a point in my life where I am no longer willing to rejig the sleeping arrangements of the people who live in my house. I can offer space for two people to sleep on my floor on airbeds. If that doesn't work for them, then I am unable to accommodate them and they need to make other arrangements. Maybe your MIL feels similarly?

I get back pain and someone else in the bed just doesn't work. They cause a dip with their bodyweight and it always affects my dip so then I'm not laying evenly but on a sideways slope. If it's even a smidge off perfectly even, I'll be in agony and will struggle to get to sleep, have broken sleep and wake up so stiff I can barely move. Bed sharing is just a big no.

But why on earth were YOU the one giving up YOUR bed for DH's mother? Surely, DH could have given up HIS bed for HIS mother? But glad she's fucking off home now instead lol

In-laws can decide where they sleep in their own home. Whether she has a bad back, is a large lady, snores or doesn't take kindly to be bummed is up to her.

(Side note, I wouldn't want someone's dog having a sleepover in my house either...)

What about buying a blow up mattress? This could help, they are portable too so you can take home with you and use again if needed.

Hotel it is then!

I don’t think you should question sleeping arrangements in someone’s home. If you’ve been invited to stay, you make the best of what’s been offered by coming with an airbed or you get a hotel. Simple. I wouldn’t dream of pushing it any further.

Sometimes with back pain you need the bed to yourself because you have to move/need to spread out so much to keep back from seizing up. It’s very disruptive to partner and you feel quite anxious and guilty about choosing between pain and disrupting them. Having a house full of guests and pulling off Xmas is hard. Doing it with pain and sleep deprivation is really hard.

Can you take your own bedding as well. Don't leave MiL and her partner with extra laundry to do if avoidable.

I'm up at 04.40 with back pain. Laundry and washing up are a bit of a struggle.

I would have taken this as her not wanting you to stay over, and on that basis I'd question whether I really wanted to do a 400 mile round trip on Christmas Day. She could have got a blow up mattress or tried to accommodate you but it sounds pretty blatant she didn't want to. Pretty selfish. Maybe invite her to yours next year.

You just need to suck it up, put your children on the floor. We had some visitors last year who invited themselves. They were then cross that they got the sofa bed in the playroom while my DC stayed in their rooms on double beds, but it is my children's home. Also they got sniffy about the fact I didn't have a travel cot for their DD, my children are in their teens and I didn't know anyone I could borrow one from. Oh and FIL was in the spare room which is lovely with a king size bed and it's own bathroom but he had just paid for a new boiler for us and is in his eighties.

The whole point of a travel cot is that it packs down. You bring your own. I do think I'd question how much someone who says you'll have to sleep on the floor wants me to stay there though.

even before her bad back she always preferred it if we stayed somewhere else.

Then it was really rude of you both to stay at the woman's house.

I think it's pretty rude expecting someone to do a 400 mile round trip and not offering to put them up. Next year I'd invite them to mine, offer to put them up and they could take it or leave it's

@Ladybyrd OP didn't write that the woman invited them in the first place. They could just be choosing to visit her, but knowing already that she doesn't want them to stay in her house, and doing so anyway, along with a dog, is rude.

I’d stay at home with the dog and let the kids and DH go and sort out their sleeping arrangements. That would suit me, TBH.