My Xmas plans are "a bit boring" Any tips?

[PinkSimba]

My eldest is autistic, and to cope with the lack of routine at Christmas, I write out a schedule of what is going to happen and put it up the day before. STBXH saw my prewritten calendar when he was dropping off the DCs on Saturday and laughed, apparently because he expected me to go all out without his involvement, but if anything, it looks boring. I was going to ignore this as he is an arse generally. However, I talked to my mum about it today, who also said it was a bit boring and wouldn't be fed up by Boxing Day.

This is the first Christmas I have planned by myself, and it's hard to balance fun with not overwhelming. So, I'm hoping some of you have some traditions or plans I can steal or tell me honestly if it looks a bit crap. The DCs are 3,6 and 8, if that helps.

So, the current plan for Xmas Eve, which is a day I usually try to tire the DCs out a bit.

.Wake up and check the elves (who will have Xmas Eve boxes that include pjs, hot chocolate, fluffy socks, some Xmas stickers, a bath bomb and popcorn)
.A slow breakfast with a Xmas film or TV show on
. get dressed
.Bike/scooter to grandparents (which will take around 20 mins)
.Stay at Grandparents for around an hour where the DCS will probably be offered loads of biscuits and sweets.
.Travel home the long way posting cards and stopping at the big park (so around another hour)
.Lunch at home and then they can free play till STBXH picks them up for a couple of hours
.Then I will walk to pick the DCS up and we walk home (which takes 20-25 mins)
. (frozen) Pizza and party bits for tea
.Baths and they can start making cards etc for santa
.Reindeer food outside and setting out treats and cards for santa
.Christmas film in my room followed by stories and then bedtime.

Xmas day

.Wake up and bring stockings into my room to open together and play with those presents for a bit if it is really early (Stockings include fruit, choc coins, a toothbrush, a little notebook+pens and a couple of little toys)
.Then downstairs to open presents and a little bit of chocolate for breakfast while we open (7 am at the earliest hopefully)
.Then real breakfast (9.30am ish)
.Tidying the wrapping paper and playing with toys.
.Then they get dressed (10.30am)
. ILS drop by to give their presents and cards (11 am but they won't be staying for long)
.Then more playing while I start dinner
. My DB arrives around 1pm
.Christmas dinner at (2pm ish)
.Play some of the games the DCS have had as gifts
.Desserts
.DB leaves around 5.30pm
.DCs play with toys and we watch some Xmas tv
. Then pjs on and gradually getting them to bed

Boxing day

.Wake up
.Slow breakfast/playing with toys
.Get dressed
. Walk to the park and play there for as long as they want
.Back home for xmas day leftovers lunch
.More toy playing
.Bike/scooter to my friends house to feed her pet/general house check
.Home for tea
.More playing
.Bath and then bed

So let me know, honestly, is it a bit rubbish?
We used to go to the ILS for most of Xmas day, but that's not happening this year, so I'm trying to work out what else to do.

It’s absolutely fine. A traditional family Christmas. People can be utter arses. Ignore them and enjoy your day :)

It sounds like you have a lovely few days planned. Ignore them!!

I don’t really know what they expect you to do but this sounds like most peoples Christmas who don’t have big gatherings.

I think that sounds lovely. Peaceful, relaxing and calm, and time to actually enjoy the day. Would your ex and your mum approve if you’d organised a circus performance for your back garden? Is Will Ferrell supposed to pop round to act out scenes from Elf?

I mean, you could chuck money at it and book expensive activities for each minute of the three days, but memories are made in the time in between those moments.

I think my mum was comparing it to our childhood Christmas when we would spend most of Xmas day visiting her parents'/grandparents' houses, then on Boxing Day, my dad's family would have a big party in the evening. So, Christmas was always really busy.
But equally, we don't have family who do those sorts of get-togethers this year, and I would hate hosting, so I'm not sure how to build in more excitement.

It sounds lovely. Enough time for the kids to take their time and enjoy their presents. Merry Christmas OP!

It sounds lovely. It’s basically what we’ll do, too. I don’t think that days with presents and family and feasting are going to be boring!
I’ll aim to get the kids some fresh air on Xmas day too, probably just the walk to church and back as I hate the playpark at this time of year 😂

That sounds lovely. DS is autistic and would absolutely hate some of the Christmases I can remember as a child (up, stocking, pack things into the car, drive to grandparents, open presents in a hot noisy house full of people, eat a big meal, back in the car, drive to aunt's house, more presents, have someone do trifle to you, eventually make it home absolutely frazzled from performative happiness and hyper from all the sugar).

It sounds totally normal and fine? What on earth was your ex expecting to be happening?

It sounds like a perfect balance for a relaxed and fun family Christmas to me. I hope you have a wonderful time.

Sounds like a perfectly lovely Christmas to me.

Ours are 29 and 21 now and they still want to replicate the opening of stockings on our bed bit whenever they’re with us.

Sounds perfectly normal.

EX is spending Christmas with his new GF and her family. So naturally, anything I plan won't be half as amazing as his day which is why I ignored him at first, but then when my mum said the same thing, I started to think maybe it is too boring.

Your ex is an arse, and your mum doesn’t understand having an autistic child. Your plan is great. I have asd dd and my plans are very similar, possibly even less. Involving across a numbers of days things like, craft, walk with hot chocolate, visit grandparents, swap gifts with aunties, baking - lots of films and quiet play. Add in dc being exhausted from school and it seems like the only sane thing to do.

It sounds perfect for you and your children. Do you have a special breakfast planned? Have a lovely time

My kids are ND and what they like to do more than anything is chill at home!

They get to be with you, each other, enjoy their presents, see a few family members and a bit of fresh air - sounds perfect tbh!

We don't all like rushing around and going to large gatherings!

Enjoy!

It sounds like a perfect Christmas to me - centred on the children and letting them take their time to play with each other and their new presents.

It sounds like absolutely normal family Christmas. What do they expect from you - line dancing in the front garden, fireworks or karaoke? Your kids will get presents and will want to play with them, in between they need food and fresh air as usual.
If your mum wants to do a big party for you all , tell her she is welcome to it.
Tbh our routine is even more boring - we eat normal breakfast, dont snack on chocolate and limit TV .

That is an excellent Christmas!

This sounds like a fun Christmas!

My kids aren't ND and our plans are -

staying indoors; all 3 days; no family - in our pjs with food, films & toys; spending time together

Do a Christmas that makes you and your children happy! However that may be ... That's what Christmas is :-)

It sounds perfect to me. Just the kind of Christmas I'd have had when I was younger. Nothing better than being able to chill, eat, drink, watch films, and play with new presents :).

@Drreamingthedaysaway We will have croissants for breakfast which is a treat for the DCS as we normally have cereal. Though the eldest will probably just want her normal cereal which is also fine.

I think it’s okay, it sounds fairly standard for the main part, although I’d question if Christmas Eve has enough in it to tire them out, especially if they’ll be plied with sweets? But you know them better than me!

It's not boring at all. they are seeing family, going to the park, playing games, watching Christmas movies, playing with new toys and eating treats. You've built in some calm relaxed down time which ASD children need. It sounds perfect.

My autistic DS is 19, nearly 20, and that's pretty much our routine, minus the park visits now (subbed in with dog walks). Peaceful, predictable, lots of time to open presents and play with them. Lovely.

The only thing I would maybe suggest is a little bit lonely for you with no adult company? Can you maybe plan to see a friend/invite a friend over on the 27th?

Sounds perfect.

Ours is similar apart from no physical activity which makes me think I'll do a walk with dc - thank you!

When I was young Christmas Eve was with my cousins, day with just family I lived with and Boxing Day always a big family party which stopped when the family who hosted moved 40 mins away as not everyone came and it dwindled out. Quite sad really.

I find for us, we are usually so busy with work and school and clubs etc, I really like the relaxing time especially on Boxing Day.

Well done op for managing everything so well and planning for your eldest to be able to know what's going on.