Urgent Christmas inspiration needed

[Needingacoffee]

Hi! I am looking for some suggestions regarding an issue I am facing. I literally have no Christmas presents prepared yet. I have been diagnosed in the last month with Glioblastoma - Grade 4. (An aggressive brain tumour). It's costing enough starting to go between medical appointments. I am trying to work out what I should do. I don't think family would expect anything much, but I am always more organised than this. I haven't even got my husband, and 2 sons anything. Why does that feel so bad/wrong to me? My prognosis is 14-16 months, but could be different. There's a possibility it could be my last Christmas or 2 left... Also, I was wondering if I should try to do something together after Christmas. It would be nice if they had a few little gifts to unwrap too.

Kindly, it sounds as if you should be resting, not stressing yourself by sorting out presents for your family. Let your Husband sort it all.

Doing something together sounds lovely, if you can afford it.
I completely get why you want to get presents for immediate family and have a “normal” Christmas, but I’d definitely forgo wider family or just give token chocolates etc.
Are you able to shop, or do you need last minute online gifts?
what sort of thing do DH and DSs like (and how old are they)?

Why can't you get your husband to do it?

I am sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I think they would understand. How old are your sons? Maybe you could think of something personal for them. Arrange some time with them. Make some happy memories. I'm sure you have happy memories with them - find some pictures and share them. Create a memory box?

I wouldn't expect anything from you OP.

Enjoy the time together that's all. Forget the rest.

What a difficult time for you OP, I'm sorry.

I wouldn't expect anything either but I can understand your wanting to do something.

For your DH and DC, and anyone else very close to you, why don't you write them a short letter to be opened on Christmas Day, recalling some of your fondest/funniest Christmas moments from previous years.
That would be something for them to treasure for years to come.

For others you are less close to, send DH out to buy a box of biscuits or chocolates and be done.

If I was close to you and wanted a present this year, it would be the gift of quality time with you that would mean most. If you were well enough.

Forget the stress of things. It’s all window dressing. 💐

Ask your husband to help you and don’t put too much on yourself. The greatest gift you can give is the one of quality time.

wishing you all the best

Dear Needingacoffee

My mum had this, and I promise you that time together reminiscing and reflecting on shared time together meant more than anything to me.

My mum bought me a book and wrote an inscription in it and I treasure that.

Or how about something beautiful you’d like them to keep?

All the best

Thank you everyone for your responses. I really do think I need to just be relaxing as much as possible. Well, no overdoing it, even if I go outside for a short while. Wish I wasn’t such a 'people pleaser'. I have been the one to generally organise the practical side of Christmas... Just need to learn to 'let go' this year I think. I tend to overthink everything, and how things might have an impact on others.

I actually did think my time - time with me should be enough. Can't actually afford too much right now with the cost of my travel for medical appointments, & such.

My husband is understandably stressed. Sons are 17 and 20, so would have a better understanding of why they might not get anything much this year.

Where do you live?

I have thought about leaving written messages/memories/photos etc. Would be nice to get closest family to meet up together sometime. Definitely thinking chocolates is the way to go otherwise. I honestly don't think they expect anything this year, so why do I stress so much?

This year is not going to be "normal" it can't be. I think it's going to be hard for everyone to accept that and you'll all feel a bit "off".take care

I'm so so sorry you're facing this. You could give written gifts like you said, but this may not be your last Xmas yet 🩷🩷 do you have the funds to delegate some shopping to your dh and kids? Ask each to buy something for the other from you, if that makes sense. I don't think anyone's going to mind that your not shopping and giving each other gifts. Will you be having a Christmas lunch you all like?

I honestly don't think they expect anything this year, so why do I stress so much?

Because you are still you! But you have more important things to do with whatever energy you have, and need to rest and relax as much as possible. If you can't do that until you've sorted some sort of presents, then be imaginative with what you can get from your local convenience stores. For example, my DCs would have been overjoyed with a jar of Nutella and a box of cocopops (as I refused to buy them normally), and a comic. Now adults, I'd get them a magazine related to their interests-and a bar of their favourite chocolate, DH would be happy with a bottle of red wine. I'd appreciate a box of chocolates as I am trying to lose weight but want to enjoy some treats at Christmas. They might sell flowers or plants too.