Parents of adult children, what do your Christmas’ look like?

[Coffeeandcocktails]

do you host family or friends?

do you visit your kids and grandkids?

how much time do you spend on your own or as a couple?

DD is 25. I am in Thailand for 2 weeks with DH, who is not her father.

My Mother lives abroad and this year we are visiting her for a week over Christmas. My adult children are visiting with us, in fact we are travelling altogether (cheaper and more convenient/share the driving). New year will just be me and DH.

Adult child who lives in another part of the country is coming to stay Christmas week. It helps that I live in a popular winter getaway location 😂.

Will be cooking for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and anyone who finds themselves alone or at loose ends is welcome to come, but no major entertaining. We've always been fairly low-key Christmas people. But there will be gifts and I have a gorgeous tree!

None of my three adult sons are settled down yet, so they'll all come home on Christmas Eve. It'll be just the five of us for a couple of days, which is how we like it. We've occasionally invited a friend of the boys if they've not had anywhere else to go, and that's always fun, but I do enjoy it being just family time. There'll be gifts in the morning, lots of food and drink, and daft card games in the evening. DS1 and I do the cooking, everyone else does the cleaning up after dinner while I have a nap. It's nice. I wonder what it'll be like in future when and if there are grandchildren around.

I have both AC living a couple hours away and kids still at home.

One AC just had a baby last week, and will be staying home with their partner, we’ll probably do a gift exchange in the new year.

Other AC will be here Friday until probably Boxing Day.

It really all depends on the year, their work schedules, and if they have in-laws to accommodate. I’m flexible. I don’t care when we see them, I’m just glad we do, and make plans accordingly.

We celebrate with those here, and again as needed. No biggie.

Our oldest is single, he’s coming to stay from Christmas Eve until the 28th. Our younger son is 24 and still lives at home, he’ll spend the day with us before going to see his girlfriend in the evening.

I think we’ll just be alone on NYE as the youngest is going out and the oldest is going to Berlin for a few days.

We have grown up children so they spend Christmas day with their children and in laws, we then have them over boxing day for dinner and tea and swap presents the grandchildren love it as do we x

They come to us along with several of their friends. Its a madhouse.

We care for mother here at home so we have to stay here

One AC lives in Oz, sometimes he will come home and will split the time between us ( his dad ) and his mum

The other AC has her own family and lives closer to her mum and MIL so its been many a year since she came to ours

We will see her and the grandkids either Sunday or Monday. They used to come to ours for New Years but now her children are beginning to want to be out NYE with their friends, she naturally needs to stay at home for them

But its all good. Ive always worked other the holiday period, most years only getting Christmas Day off, this year is the first time in 20 years Im off the whole period so maybe new traditions will be made

I have two and they’re coming away with us for a few days by the sea with their partners. We will have lots of food, wine and silly games. Hopefully a few brisk walks by the sea and a pub lunch at some point.

NY we are abroad on our own.

What about you, OP?

4 grown up kids and 2 still at home, this year they are all here for Christmas Day (including partners) and I'm looking forward to it immensely!

My DD is a recent adult, turned 18 this year. She's going to her Dad's for Christmas. I am going "home" to visit my parents and have Christmas Day at my DBs house. I'll miss DD but at least I won't be on my own.

My children are still young so I asked this more out of curiosity!

Im sure there will be many years where we won’t get to spend Christmas Day with our children (and future grandchildren).

I love the thought of a few nights away in the countryside if myself and DH were to be spending it by ourselves!

I also love the idea of hosting a big day for our children, their partners and in-laws or even just friends, but who knows what the future will hold for us.

Me and DH live abroad, but we’re going to be going back to uk to spend Christmas with my adult son and other family. Not happening now, as my son passed away in October, so Christmas this year will be a pretty subdued affair.
we are just having a couple of mates over for a few hours, and the rest of the time watching tv.

I am so sorry @Darnley 💐 Be gentle with yourselves this year.

Not quite there yet myself but we're used to a fairly quiet Christmas day and seeing people at other times. It really helps to think of it as a season and not one super important day.

@Darnley I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you and your husband have a peaceful holiday. Take care.

I am so sorry to read this and v sorry for your loss.

@Coffeeandcocktails You have plenty of time before you have to navigate the holidays with adult children. My advice is to remain flexible and not stick to rigid ideas about what Christmas "should" be like.

So many threads on Mumsnet with people complaining that Christmas is "ruined" once the kids don't believe in Santa anymore or the "magic" is gone once it's no longer "just my little family"🙄

It's a special time when your kids are young, but it can also be great when you're on your own again too. It's nice to be able to choose what you enjoy about the season and focus on that instead of creating the " magic" for everyone else.

Thank you for the kind messages. It helps.

We all live fairly close but we don't celebrate Xmas. But we do keep up for all the other times of year, so no loss really. Not really sure what the big thing is about getting together about a specific time when you can get together any time, if you want.